I believe you must have heard a saying: "Hitting is kissing, scolding is love, love is deep and kicking with feet~", and this sentence has been more considered by parents to be the most reasonable saying for educating children.
Now, parents are more spoiled and love their children. One child is taken care of by six people. I am not willing to criticize, I am not willing to punish.
However, some impatient parents sometimes punish their children because of their anger, and even beat their children with their hands.
Most parents hit their children to vent their emotions, and only a small number of parents can rationally punish their children and let their children correct their mistakes.
Let's first talk about the minefield where many parents punish their children on a daily basis.
01, do not fight the wrong cognition of not being able to achieve success
Some parents believe that only by playing, children can remember, can it be effective! When it comes to punishment, many parents also think of corporal punishment for the first time, spanking, punishment station, confinement, etc., but from the perspective of educators, we absolutely do not approve of corporal punishment, whether it is spanking or spanking, it is absolutely not allowed.
Because corporal punishment is disrespectful to the child's personality, parents only rely on their own strength to punish the child, so that the child suffers from the pain of flesh and skin, and cannot produce true educational significance.
Now, on 30 April of each year, the International Day of No Children is also launched by anti-corporal punishment groups to combat this incorrect violence.
02. Children who have done something wrong should not be directly criticized and punished in public
Children's self-esteem is often stronger than that of adults, so when children make mistakes, even if parents want to criticize children, they must inform their children in places where there are no outsiders, rather than making children feel faceless in public.
Parents need to protect their children's self-esteem, otherwise the child will not only not realize his mistakes, but also bring irreversible psychological damage and leave a shadow.
03. When criticizing and punishing children, do not completely deny and carry out personality attacks
When criticizing and punishing children, you cannot completely deny the child's behavior and use language to attack the child's personality, such as: you are a child who is not out of the woods, you are a bad child, and so on.
On the road of children's growth, it is inevitable that parents will punish their children appropriately, so what kind of punishment is scientific, and can make children aware of the role of natural consequences?
How can scientific punishment be more effective? What is the ultimate purpose of punishment? How can we convince a child to be punished?
In fact, many people do not understand what punishment is, and think that punishment and consequences are the same thing.
Ask parents to do an experiment with me. Can you clearly tell from the examples that follow which are the penalties? What are the consequences?
1, a 10-year-old child because of the dirty words, parents will use soapy water to gargle the child.
2, an 8-year-old child because he is reluctant to go out to wear clothes on a cold day, parents will let the child cold without frostbite.
3, a 5-year-old child because of the reluctance to clean up the room, parents will take a photo of the room and post it in the circle of friends.
4, a 3-year-old child because of greedy play does not eat, parents will let the child starve to another meal.
(Correct answer: 1 and 3 are punishments, 2 and 4 are natural consequences)
In fact, parents should make more use of natural consequences, so that children can experience the consequences of wrong behavior, so that children will understand their choices, and the consequences must also be borne by themselves.
04, more tolerance, accept the child's feelings
Treat the child's behavior, as a parent, do not be too harsh, do not be too demanding, can not be too impatient! We need to give our children more tolerance and accept all their feelings, which does not mean that everything the child does is right.
Because understanding does not mean recognition, we must allow children to have normal emotions and opportunities for trial and error, but do not give children connivance in behavior, and give children full respect.
Because respect is mutual, parents respect their children, children will respect their parents from the heart, and they can better listen to the content of their parents' education.
Parents must completely abandon the erroneous educational concept of "filial piety under the stick", let the child form a complete personality through scientific educational communication, and grow into a child who dares to make mistakes, has the courage to know mistakes, distinguish between right and wrong, and grow up wisely!