When it comes to children's bad problems, parents can say that there are many baskets, as if they can find some bad places every day. Among these so-called bad problems, the most hated and unacceptable thing parents should be their verbal behavior. For parents, to resist is not to understand respect, is not obedient, is...
In short, what parents see is often the bad place for their children. In their hearts, to resist is to disobey, which is not conducive to their future development. In order to change this habit of their children, parents began to show their own magic, using language discipline and heavy using force to solve.
As everyone knows, children's rebuttal is not only as simple as disobedience. Parents are angry more because they feel that their authority is being challenged. Most parents, habitually on the moral high ground, like to use identity and rights to suppress their children.
Many times, it is the child's self-awareness that is slowly awakening. They have their own ideas, do not want to be suppressed by their parents, and behind the seeming rebellion are the thoughts that children are slowly maturing. It's just that for each age group, their counter-talk performance is not very similar.
One thing parents should understand: only children who have experienced rebellion can become truly independent people, have independent thoughts, and have independent ability to do things.
Think about it from another angle, the child has an idea, and is not afraid of power, bravely express it, what is wrong? Those parents who have always said fairness and respect, when the children resist, they just want to be respected, why not give them such an opportunity?
With children, parents should polish their eyes, discover their strengths more, and get along in a wise way, rather than a suppressive way.
Regarding the recency and non-verbalting, parents may prefer children who do not talk back at this time, but in the future, parents should appreciate the children who resist the mouth more, because there is a world of difference between them.
Children who don't talk back
They are accustomed to listening to their parents' opinions, without their own ideas, and are completely resigned to the mentality. When you grow up, you will continue to have such ideas, and it is difficult to have great development.
Imagine this: children will come to society in the future, encounter anything, or think of relying on their parents, and will never deal with problems head-on. What is the meaning of such a life?
Talkative children
Seemingly disobedient, but in fact expressing ideas, and very good at communication. As adults, they are very independent, have their own ideas, and their ability to behave in the world does not need to worry about their parents.
Imagine that children can solve many problems on their own, and in the daily counter-talk, their thinking ability is exercised and their reaction speed is particularly fast. In society and at work, it should be better.
It is also important to note that the child who resists and does not talk back, they are completely different personalities. The former has an active thinking and a relatively cheerful and lively personality; while the latter has no ideas and has a dull personality. It is said that character determines life, so it can be seen that the future of children is definitely clear at a glance.
It is no exaggeration to say that if the child is not relented, it is that the parents are lazy, and they are accustomed to making decisions for the child. But I don't know that the more arranged life is, the easier it is to become a weak person in life. It is very likely that when the child grows up, he will be the "mother treasure man", that is, the "old man", which is the person that everyone is most reluctant to see.
It is understandable to think that parents are worried that their children will become habits of talking back, so more bad behaviors will be derived. In fact, it does not matter, the focus is still on the parents' education methods, after all, the child's age is the stage that needs the guidance of parents.
Parents may wish to try to do this regarding their child's verbal behavior
1. It is allowed to resist mouths and not label at will
Be sure to recognize and accept the child's verbal behavior, at least show that they are thinking about the problem, and verbal communication and expression are also worthy of recognition. Never label your child with any negative labels to avoid a labeling effect.
However, on the issue of principle, parents still have to keep the bottom line, and the punishment should not be less. In this way, children are clear about the principles and bottom lines, and develop a correct concept of right and wrong.
2. Step by step, benign communication
I want to have good communication with my child, but I don't have a good way. In fact, to think from another angle, the mouth is also a good entry point. Since children like to talk back, use this way to establish harmonious communication between parents and children through a step-by-step approach.
In the process of children's mouths, parents should develop the habit of observing more and evaluating less. At the very least, wait until they have finished expressing themselves before giving reasonable opinions and ideas. Let the child feel the attitude of the parents and be a qualified listener.
Written in the end: rational view of the problem, there are countless aspects of the mouth, the child's seemingly bad behavior, are hidden in the need to be tapped into the shining point. What parents can do is to take advantage of their young age, to discover more of their strengths, and then to guide them.