A qualified ex should turn on "silent mode" and not appear in your life, no longer to disturb your emotions, not to add chaos to your peaceful life.
Those who still pestered their exs after the breakup were a manifestation of a lack of sense of proportion.
If, during the stage of separation between you and your ex, you were originally at peace and living your own life, but suddenly one day, your ex found you again.
At this time, don't have illusions about the ex, and don't take it for granted that the ex is holding the idea of compounding.
He is not looking for you because of love, but because he has an ulterior motive.
-01
Go around in circles, or choose the "spare tire"
Don't doubt if you've been separated from your ex for more than 3 months and during that time you didn't intersect with each other and deleted each other.
Then, after 3 months, the ex finds you again, then don't believe that the ex is a "resurgence" of old feelings and still has love for you.
The reason why he came to you is that he thinks it is more appropriate for you.
He tried to start a new relationship, try to get along with other people of the opposite sex, but in the end he found that you were more suitable for him.
He is approaching you with the purpose of "cultivating a spare tire".
Generally speaking, the 3 months after a couple breaks up is enough for two people to come out of the shadow of lost love.
And those who still have each other in their hearts will not take 3 months to make contact again.
He can hold back for so long without looking for you, which shows a problem: his feelings for you are dispensable, and he does not affect normal life because of the loss of love.
If at this moment you are soft-hearted again and accept his compound requirements because of a few rhetorical words from your predecessor, then you are right in his "emotional routine".
Normally, people break up and go through such a stage: the doubt period, the pain period, the cooling off period.
In the beginning, doubts about the authenticity of feelings: "Are we separated?" Probably not yet, right? No, we did separate. ”
Hesitating between whether or not to actually break up hasn't fully embraced the fact yet.
Then, it began to enter the painful period after the breakup, depressed, sad, sad, and all the emotions came up.
At this stage, some people need 1 month, some people need 3 months, and some people only need half a month to get out of the shadows.
In the end, it entered a cooling-off period and held an "outsider" mentality about the previous relationship.
Not so sad, just feeling sorry.
-02
Feelings are not good enough at the moment, take comfort from you
Can you believe it? Some people contact you again because they want emotional or physical comfort from you.
A female reader left me a message about the behavior of her scumbag ex.
The two have been separated for more than half a year, and the scumbag ex seamlessly began a new relationship.
Then, one day, half a year later, my ex came to her city on a business trip and told her: I haven't seen her for a long time, let's come out and have a meal together.
Moreover, the meaning between the words and lines in the scumbag's words reveals "frivolity".
The female reader saw through the scumbag's routine at a glance, decisively chose to refuse, and directly said: "If you are so disrespectful to you again, I will send the chat records to your current one." ”
Sure enough, the scumbag no longer dared to be arrogant.
In fact, there are many predecessors who have such thoughts.
I think that after the breakup, I can still get some benefits from my ex and meet some of their needs.
When something goes wrong with his current relationship, he shows up in front of you, just to seek comfort and expect a "sense of accomplishment" from you.
When he feels lonely and lonely, he will also think of you, thinking that you were once familiar and might be able to use you again.
But everyone is an adult, and the principles of being human are: self-love and self-esteem.
Now that you have broken up, the best option is: the road is facing the sky, each side, and neither one should disturb the other's life.
Those exs who hold the idea of trying it out and playing with it are not very good character.
-03
Don't assume that your ex came to you because of love
In The Temperature of Love, a line goes like this:
After a breakup, most people will reunite with their former counterparts; but 97% of these reunited couples will separate again, and only 3% will go to the end for the same reasons as the first separation.
It is not impossible to reunite with the ex after a breakup, but there are some specific conditions.
At the very least, if your ex wants to get back together with you, he should show his sincerity; and it must also be based on your feelings for him.
If neither person has the ability to solve the reason for the last breakup, wouldn't it be doubly hurt to get back together?
Say more, the reason why you break up is because you don't love enough, it's not appropriate.
It is not that the ex can't let go of you, but in the process of getting along with the opposite sex, he finds that you are more suitable and wants to choose you as a temporary "emotional substitute".
Truly love someone, even if you break up, it will not cause trouble to the other party.
And those exs who make you feel uncomfortable again and again after separation, let them stay away early.
Today's Topic:
After separation, did your ex take the initiative to find you?
(Article with picture source network)