Introduction: When it comes to spoiling, most people think of an emotional state that girls show in the face of their boyfriends, wives face their husbands, and children face their parents. But you know what? Spoiling is an excellent and comfortable state, and having your own object of pampering is really happiness in life.
Text/37 degrees warm dad
When it comes to the word "childish", I believe that everyone is familiar with it. Probably for this word, everyone has their own understanding: for lovers in love, the little girl's posture shown by the girl is obsessed with the boy; the person who is spoiled to the other half in marriage feels happy support; in the parent-child relationship, the child's pampering makes the parents feel the intimacy in the parent-child relationship.
But have you thought about it? Pampering is not only an expression of emotion, but also a relationship of support and trust!
One day, when I came home from work, after entering the neighborhood, I saw a father pushing a stroller, followed by a little girl of about 7 or 8 years old. I guess it's a two-child family! The little girl said to her father, "Daddy, I don't want to practice today." "I'm curious, how will Dad answer?" Isn't there a saying that the daughter is Daddy's intimate little cotton jacket, and daddy's little lover in the previous life.
However, the results disappointed me greatly!
The father stopped and turned around: "You didn't practice yesterday, do you know?" Your mom and I work hard to earn money, not for you! Dad said angrily, and also pointed his index finger at the girl's forehead, completely ignoring the pedestrians who came and went. I couldn't help but slow down and want to see the ending.
"Do you know how much it costs to buy a piano?" Do you know how much my mom and I paid to give you piano lessons? You say you don't practice without practicing? I don't think you can even study! "The little girl's tears were like a river that broke its banks... I couldn't bear to continue watching, so I had to speed up. Behind her came the little girl's timid voice: "Daddy, I will practice when I go home." ”
In this matter, regardless of the girl's right or wrong, do not discuss whether it is time to practice. Let me analyze the psychological dynamics of girls:
First, the girl's coddling of her father is a manifestation of trust in her father. I think: When I coddle you, ask for attention, ask for comfort, you will meet my emotional needs. However, the father did not give the girl the support she wanted, but instead returned a reprimand!
Second, I guess that girls will most likely never lie to their fathers again. The reason is simple: who would want to ask for comfort in exchange for a reprimand?
So, does your child have a spoiled object? Does he or she dare to coddle you?
In fact, whether in an intimate relationship or a parent-child relationship, pampering is an excellent and comfortable state. Only if you trust each other enough, you will have a spoiled behavior. The basic logic behind this is this: When I want your comfort, I am confident that you will meet my needs. It is a state of trust and being trusted, and thus gaining emotional support. It may be a bit abstract to say this, let's take an example: lovers in love, no matter what the other party does, is right, not right for people! Even the unreasonable demands of the other party will be regarded as a cute performance.
From this, we can imagine how disappointed this little girl was with her father's words! No one likes to be preached and controlled, not to mention that the father's language at that time directly threw his own pressure and expectations to the child.
The former Soviet educator MarcoLenko said: "Everything is given to the child, sacrificing everything, even sacrificing one's own happiness, this is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children." Didn't this father give makarenko what he called the "most terrible gift" to his child?
Maybe this child remembers this scene that happened when he walked with his father, and will never lie to his father again, but in exchange for doubt, estrangement, and become sensible.
Conclusion: Spoiling is an excellent state, indicating that you are worthy of the other person's trust, whether in an intimate relationship or a parent-child relationship! When the child becomes what you want, and has the understanding and maturity that surpasses his peers, it also shows that parents have an emotional neglect of their children.
@37 Degrees Warm Dad Psychological Institute Marriage, Family and Parent-Child Relationship in-the-job research, sharing psychological parenting knowledge every day. According to incomplete statistics: 99.99% of people who pay attention to warm fathers have happier marriages and more well-behaved children.
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