01
Many couples, when in love, always feel that two people in love can overcome everything, and feel that poverty and relatives are not a problem. Therefore, driven by emotions, I didn't think about anything and crashed directly into the marriage.
But marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families, once you enter into marriage, you can only contact each other's family, if the other party's family is good with each other, then it is fine, your life can be better, but if the other party's family is unreasonable, unreasonable to stir up the kind of person, then your life is estimated to be better.
Therefore, marriage must not only seek feelings, and before marriage must solve all the uncertainties, can not be troubled until after marriage, things are dragged to marriage is more difficult to solve.
Moreover, there must be a "bottom line" in marriage, you can't always give in, and constantly giving in will only make you live more and more depressed, and when the time comes, you will be full of resentment in your heart, and sooner or later it will break out. Therefore, if you want a happy marriage, you must keep the "bottom line".
02
Xie Li (pseudonym) and Yu Pengchi (pseudonym) are free love. Because of the good feelings, so when it came to talking about marriage, Xie Li did not make any requests with the man, she felt that through the efforts of two people, they would be able to live a good life, and they would no longer have to add burdens to the elderly in the family.
So the two people discussed paying for and decorating the marriage house together. At this time, Xie Li is also full of expectations for marriage, she feels that she and Yu Pengchi bought a marriage house together through their own efforts, and Yu Pengchi will definitely read her good in the future, and in the days to come, he will definitely love himself more.
But she never expected that things would have twists and turns. It is not that she and Yu Pengchi have a third party, nor is it that there is a problem of feelings between them, but that the in-laws have actually made a moth at this time.
The wedding room had just been renovated, and the sister-in-law took advantage of the fact that Xie Li and Yu Pengchi had not yet held a wedding and moved into the wedding room to live temporarily. This made Xie Li very angry, but what made her even more angry was that her mother-in-law actually favored her sister-in-law to support her to live, and said that the family would live casually.
This attitude of the mother-in-law aroused the anger in her heart. After all, this is a marriage house, and this house was bought at their own expense, and there was no in-laws at all. For their own sake, she did not ask for a bride price, did not want a marriage room, she thought that her kindness would be exchanged for the other party's sincere treatment, but this marriage has not yet been married, the other party will give her such a show, she feels that her kindness is all fed to the dog.
She was angry and angry, but she did not turn her anger to Yu Pengchi, she always thought that Yu Pengchi was a righteous person, and she did not want to question her vision. She believed that if Yu Pengchi knew about this, then he would definitely stand up to stop his mother-in-law and sister-in-law.
So, she found Yu Pengchi, and she didn't say bad things about her mother and sister in front of him, she just told the facts very objectively. After saying that, she looked at Yu Pengchi expectantly, hoping that he could stand up and administer justice for her. But Yu Pengchi's reaction disappointed her.
She never expected that the boy who was upright and sunny in her eyes would say such a thing, he said to make her bear with it, saying that it was not easy for his mother to be a little bit of a sister, although his sister was a little willful, he hoped that she could tolerate his sister with him, if she could treat his sister as her own, then this matter would not be so difficult to accept.
As he said these words, he looked up at her, seeing that her face was getting more and more ugly, and he turned sharply, saying that he would also talk about his sister and mother, to see if they could listen to him, and said that he would try to convince them.
After saying that, he also summed up a sentence, saying that they are all family and should be considerate of each other. She almost didn't give him a slap on the spot, she never thought that the perfect man in her eyes, Yu Pengchi, would have such a disgraceful thought.
But she resisted, she thought, to give him another chance to see if he could solve the matter, and if not, she herself had a hindrance.
As a result, she was still disappointed, waiting for more than half a month, nothing progressed, and Yu Pengchi even avoided her. She felt that this man was hopeless. So she asked her brother to move into the marriage room, and since Yu Pengchi's sister could move in, then her brother could also move in, so that no one would suffer losses.
As soon as Yu Pengchi's family saw that Xie Li was so tit-for-tat, they all began to crusade against Xie Li, saying that Xie Li was scheming, saying that she was intolerant, and saying that if she really entered the door, she would definitely be a troublemaker, and later said a lot of excessive words. They themselves say it is not counted, and they spread rumors everywhere. In a small place, everyone knows each other, and once this reputation goes out, her family is estimated to be unable to look up.
Moreover, if this marriage is not successful, then she can't say that she can't be a family in her hometown. Because ordinary people do not analyze the truth of these rumors at all, as long as there are bad remarks that come out, they would rather take these statements seriously and then avoid the central figure of this statement.
Therefore, after some publicity from the future in-laws, her reputation is completely stinky. She was both angry and cold-hearted. What made her most cold was Yu Pengchi's inaction. He could watch his mother slander her so much. He was even kind enough to continue talking to her about the wedding. She felt that she was blind, if she was not blind, how could she have looked at such a thing in the first place. She finally threw that slap over, a slap she had been thinking about for a long time, but she kept restraining herself. But at this time, she didn't want to put up with it anymore, and she didn't want to have any more contact with such a family, so she chose to vent the anger in her heart.
After that, after a lot of commotion, the wedding was finally canceled, the house was sold, and one person was divided in half. A pair of men and women who were originally in love, after this, began to die and did not interact with each other.
What Happened to Shelly tells us two things.
03
One: We must not leave premarital problems until after marriage.
Many people, when they encounter problems before marriage, always like to drag, because they don't know how to solve it, because they are hesitant, so they drag the problem to the end of marriage, thinking that this way things can pass.
However, if the problem before marriage is left to be solved after marriage, then this kind of behavior is simply an act of self-cutting the back road. You know, many things can not be solved by your own efforts alone, when the other party is stubborn, does not listen to persuasion at all, and is not willing to compromise, even if you are the right party, in that family, you have become the wrong party, at this time you can only compromise.
If before marriage, when the problem can not be solved, then you still have a way to retreat, although it is difficult to make the decision to give up this relationship, but it is better than having lived that kind of stoic swallowing after marriage, or living that kind of chicken flying dog jumping day. And after marriage, if you want to get out of this marriage because the problem cannot be solved, the cost will be great.
Therefore, everyone remembers that we must not leave premarital problems until after marriage.
04
Two: Marriages with "bottom lines" can be happier.
Many people in marriage, always unconsciously lose their "bottom line", just for "family harmony". But such a marriage cannot be happy. Because once you lose your "bottom line", then in this family, you become the person who needs to constantly compromise, and your sacrifice is deserved in the eyes of several others. They don't appreciate you for it or think you're great.
In this way, you can only live your life with resignation. Everyone is an individual in this world, no one is qualified to demand that you make concessions all the time, and you do not have to compromise for anyone.
Everyone longs for a happy marriage, some people in order to have a happy marriage, they continue to lower their "bottom line", or directly lose their "bottom line", thinking that this can have a happy marriage, but this behavior is only whitewashing the peace, the contradictions hidden inside will surface sooner or later, and it will only be more difficult to calm down.
Therefore, in marriage, everyone must keep the "bottom line", and a marriage with a "bottom line" can be happier.
Text/No Pen