Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
Haohao's death became the last straw that overwhelmed Fang Yinuo's rationality.
Looking at the children who were still playing with Hehe a few days ago, they were now covered by a white cloth and their small bodies.
She was terrified.
From knowing that if he had another child with Xiao Lu, there was a fifty percent chance of saving Hehe, Fang Yinuo had been hovering between being born and not having children.
At present, in addition to waiting for bone marrow donation, it is the only way to go.
But the cost is ruining two families, and it's not 100 percent successful.
Not being born is equivalent to placing her hopes entirely on the slim bone marrow bank matching, in case Hehe can't wait for that day, she will regret it.
When Hao Hao in the next ward was pushed away in front of her eyes, watching Hao Hao's parents cry out in despair, the balance in Fang Yinuo's heart completely tilted to the side of the "life".
As for what she needs to face and what price she needs to pay, she knows it.
Fang Yinuo, who has been doing multiple choice questions
On the way home from the hospital, Fang Yinuo had been thinking about how to talk to Xie Tianhua. Although she had made up her mind to have another child with Xiao Lu, some words were not so easy to say.
She knew what a showdown meant.
She knew even more how much Xie Tianhua had paid for her and Hehe.
In order to save Hehe, she can give up everything, which is her choice as a mother. But that doesn't mean she's a hard-hearted person. In addition to her mother, she is also a wife, a wife who is loved by her husband and cared for by her mother-in-law.
Maybe she didn't love Xie Tianhua so much, but she didn't want to hurt him.
After returning home, Fang Yinuo still didn't think about how to open his mouth. Until she learned that Xie Tianhua was ready to sell the new house she had bought for many years to save Hehe, she couldn't bear it anymore.
Bi Shumin once said: "Silence when it is time to tell the truth is a kind of despicable. ”
From the perspective of the evil of human nature, if Fang Yinuo wants to use Xie Tianhua's love for her to obtain financial support as much as possible, the child will continue to be born, and the marriage can not be separated, which is not impossible.
After all, with her income as a teacher, it is difficult to bear the high cost of treatment. Moreover, Xie Tianhua loves her very much, loves enough to tolerate everything, as long as she opens her mouth, or even does not need her to open her mouth, Xie Tianhua will do everything to help her.
People have feelings, even in Fang Yinuo's heart, Hehe is greater than everything, but she can't accept herself, using Xie Tianhua's love to squeeze him dry.
So she filed for divorce.
She said to Xie Tianhua:
"If I want to save Hehe, I have only one way left." The doctor said, I will do artificial work with him. Sorry, Xie Tianhua. Don't drag you down anymore. I have to go this way. ”
She knew what kind of harm she would bring to Xie Tianhua if she said it. But she couldn't help but say. In her opinion, her choice is bound to hurt Xie Tianhua, and since the matter has reached this point, divorce is the best choice for her and Xie Tianhua at this stage.
She no longer had to drag Xie Tianhua and the Xie family down, so that her guilt would not be endlessly aggravated by each other's efforts.
Xie Tianhua can also stop the loss in time and will not face the situation of both people and money.
Of course, this was only Fang Yinuo's idea, and it was also the way she could think of to minimize the damage.
However, she still underestimated Xie Tianhua's love for her.
Xie Tianhua had loved Fang Yinuo for more than ten years. From the time she went to college to now she is 37 years old (as shown in the physical examination report in the play), Xie Tianhua's love for her has always been the same. Just like in the play, Fang Yinuo forgot the window location of his dormitory, but Xie Tianhua remembered it clearly:
"Counting from the right, it's the fifth room. Counting from the left is the eighth window. ”
If it weren't for love to the bone, who would still remember it so clearly after many years?
But the more this happened, the more guilty Fang Yinuo felt in his heart. Whatever the reason, she still lost him after all.
In order to force Xie Tianhua to let go, she said to him:
"Marry you for the sake of Hehe." I want her to have a dad. ”
She wanted to tell Xie Tianhua that she had never loved him. Being with him is for Hehe, and now she wants to divorce, but also for Hehe, from beginning to end, in her heart, there has never been your xie Tianhua's position.
However, when Fang Yinuo really went to open a room with Xiao Lu, she flinched again.
Coming out of the hotel, she sat on the side of the road to call her mother. She asked her mother if she had been sick when she was young, if she had done anything for her.
At that time, Fang Yinuo needed courage to support her to go on, and the answer she wanted was whether as a mother should give everything for her children, including trampling on morality and the bottom line.
However, before she could overcome her psychological obstacles and concerns, she unexpectedly found herself pregnant with Xie Tianhua's child.
Throughout the play, Fang Yinuo seems to have been doing multiple choice questions.
From whether or not to forgive Xiao Lu for cheating, to whether to accept Xie Tianhua, to whether he should be desperate to save Hehe now.
If the first two choices she can consider based on her own perspective to make a decision, then the last choice has become the most difficult problem.
In fact, when this multiple choice question appeared, it had the attribute of harm, and no matter how Fang Yinuo chose it, she was wrong.
If you ruin two families and hurt the innocent Xie Tianhua and Dong Fan in order to save Hehe, it is wrong.
If you give up the opportunity in front of you and don't save the grass lying on the hospital bed, it is also wrong.
No matter how she chooses, she will have a disturbed conscience; no matter how she chooses, someone will be hurt by it.
This problem is like the tram problem in philosophy. No matter how you choose, you can't solve this problem perfectly and ethically.
Based on the perspective of life first, based on the perspective of the moral bottom line and conscience of the human being, based on the perspective of different roles and different responsibilities, and based on the position of each person in the event, how to choose is right and wrong.
This multiple choice question will never have an optimal answer.
The most wronged Xie Tianhua
Xie Tianhua married Fang Yinuo because of love.
From the day Fang Yinuo married into the Xie family, he regarded Hehe as his own daughter, which was his promise to Fang Yinuo. Even if Hehe fell ill later and faced with a huge amount of treatment fees that could empty his family at any time, Xie Tianhua did not hesitate.
For him, for the sake of Fang Yinuo and Hehe, he did everything he could.
However, when he learned that only Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu could save Hehe if they had one more child, he panicked.
He knew that with Fang Yinuo's personality, she would not give up any opportunity in the matter of saving Hehe. He had been waiting for Fang Yinuo to make a decision, for him, accepting was painful, but not accepting it meant losing Fang Yinuo, which was even more painful.
After a brief hesitation, he chose to accept:
"Yinuo, don't think about it too much, Hehe is my daughter." If you have another one, it's also my child. It's all about Hehe, I understand... It's my own choice. As long as, as long as you don't get divorced. ”
At that moment, Xie Tianhua was humble to the extreme.
Accepting Fang Yinuo to have another child means that he probably will not have the opportunity to have his own child in this life. Two children, for a family, what kind of financial pressure and energy need to bear, he knows it, so it is almost impossible to have a child of his own.
If Fang Yinuo crushed his self-esteem into the soil for the sake of Hehe, then Xie Tianhua also gave up his dignity as a man and husband for Fang Yinuo.
However, when Xie Tianhua had just accepted that Fang Yinuo had solved the problem by artificial insemination, things had changed again.
Fang Yinuo was unable to undergo artificial insemination due to uterine ectopia. She hid from Xie Tianhua and prepared to come with Xiao Lu for real.
That day, Dong Fan's anonymous message was sent to Xie Tianhua's mobile phone, and looking at the message, he sat still for an afternoon. He did not question Fang Yinuo, nor did he rush to the location in the message to stop this matter, even if Dong Fan found him and cried and begged him to think of a way together, he also refused.
The reason why he is like this is not because he can accept it, or he does not want to stop it, but because he cannot face the scene of "catching the adulterer in bed", and he does not want to shatter even the only illusion.
There is only one result in that, that is, he will completely lose Fang Yinuo.
That night, he went to the hospital as usual to take care of Hehe. In the face of the returning Fang Yinuo, he didn't say anything, nor did he dare to look directly into Fang Yinuo's eyes, and even Fang Yinuo wanted to tell him the truth, but he deliberately interrupted.
At that moment, he was running away, and he was afraid of the truth in Fang Yinuo's mouth. He'd rather when nothing had happened.
Until Fang Yinuo told him on his mobile phone that nothing had happened, he laughed and cried...
Throughout the play, Xie Tianhua can definitely be called a good husband, a good father, and even as a brother, he is impeccable.
However, behind these "good", Xie Tianhua endured too much.
Ignoring the opposition of his family, he married Fang Yinuo, who was divorced and carried a child, who maintained everything and treated Hehe more carefully than his own children; Hehe was ill, and he was under pressure to sell the house to raise medical expenses; in order to save Hehe, he gave up his dignity as a man, gave up the opportunity to have his own child, and accepted his wife's pregnancy of someone else's child; in the face of Xiao Lu's desire to see the child, he endured embarrassment, helped Xiao Lu conceal, and even tried to persuade Fang Yinuo to accept; ...
In his world, it seems that there is only Fang Yinuo.
Anything that involved Fang Yinuo, he was accustomed to tolerating and accommodating. He swallowed all the grievances and pain alone, just to fulfill Fang Yinuo's wish to be a "good mother".
Until he learned that Fang Yinuo was pregnant with his child.
At that moment, his joy could be felt across the screen, and he finally had a child with his beloved woman who belonged only to the two of them.
However, a real problem is in front of us.
If Fang Yinuo left this child, it was equivalent to giving up saving Hehe in disguise. Xie Tianhua couldn't bear it, and Fang Yinuo couldn't accept it. But even so, Xie Tianhua still expected Fang Yinuo to personally tell him the news, even if he really couldn't stay, at least it could prove that Fang Yinuo cared about him and cared about their children.
He was full of joy and still couldn't wait for Fang Yinuo's showdown.
He could only cautiously take the initiative to inquire about Fang Yinuo's decision. If it were not for Xie Dan's kneeling, Xie Tianhua would probably continue to silently accept all the choices of Fang Yinuo.
Looking at his sister who was kneeling on the ground, looking at his mother with a sad face, and looking at the back of Fang Yinuo's departure, a seed of "sin" sprouted in Xie Tianhua's heart - he went to report Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu's illegal application for artificial conception.
Is Xie Tianhua wrong?
I don't know, and I can't make up my mind.
After all, based on a father-son perspective, he was not wrong, he just wanted to keep his own children. However, he really hurt Fang Yinuo, who was bent on saving Hehe.
Seeing this scene, I thought, Xie Tianhua is really too difficult and too wronged.
Helping his wife raise her ex-husband's children, giving birth to the child's illness, biting her back teeth to accept that her wife and ex-husband have another child, and now it is difficult to have her own child, but it cannot be left behind.
Even if he loves Fang Yinuo again, he can't watch his child being abandoned.
He was almost forty years old, and this might really be his only chance to have his own flesh and blood. And this is only the most basic right of a husband and father, but he has to defend it by reporting and pleading.
As a mother, Why can Hehe do whatever he wants, and Xie Tianhua at this time is just an ordinary father who wants to keep his child.
Called Husseini wrote in The Kite Chaser:
"Getting and losing is always more hurtful than never getting."
If Fang Yinuo had not conceived Xie Tianhua's child, he might have accepted it as always and continued to tolerate it without a bottom line. But fate was so playful that he gave him a child when he was ready to accept all injustice.
This is fortunate and unfortunate.
The most innocent Dong Fan
In addition to Xie Tianhua, Dong Fan should be the most innocent existence in the play.
Since marrying Xiao Lu, she has been criticized by her colleagues. Even her sincere support for Xiao Luduo to look at the sick Hehe has become an ulterior motive in the eyes of some people:
"Her husband has recently gotten closer to his ex-wife, so I said, maybe I was really a little third before, and then I was whitewashed by the upper position." No wonder she loves so much, stepmother Sai mother. In order to match the father and daughter of the family, he used eighteen martial arts. ”
But no matter how much damage is caused by gossip, it is no more powerful than the fatal blow of a beloved person.
Since Hehe fell ill, Xiao Lu's whole heart had been poured into Hehe's body. Less and less attention was paid to Dong Fan. Dong Fan, who is kind by nature, although she is a little lost in her heart, she gives Xiao Lu the greatest understanding.
She loves Xiao Lu and wants to live a good life with Xiao Lu, so even if there is a small episode in her life, she still asks herself to be a good wife and fulfill Xiao Lu's fatherly heart.
Until Xiao Lu told her about her plan to have another child with Fang Yinuo, she completely collapsed.
She cried that she never cared about Xiao Lu's previous marriage, nor did she ever mind that Xiao Lu loved Hehe more. But she was just an ordinary person, an ordinary person with flesh and blood, selfishness and pain.
To tell the truth, it is difficult for anyone to accept their husbands and have another child with their ex-wives. Even if it is to save people, understandable does not mean acceptable:
"Our marriage has always been making concessions for Hehe. Now because of you and Fang Yinuo's daughter, I can't have children with you, and you still want me to accept that you have a second child. Xiao Lu, you are too selfish, you are too bullying. ”
In fact, for Dong Fan, she can accept Xiao Lu's long-planned trip for Hehe, accept Xiao Lu's withdrawal of the new house that has long been booked, and accept Xiao Lu's family money to Hehe for treatment...
These seemed to her to be the responsibilities of a father, and she was willing to fulfill them.
However, it was difficult for her to accept having another child. For her, it was Xiao Lu's betrayal of her and their marriage. She said to Xiao Lu:
"Xiao Lu, you can only choose between the child and me."
It's another two-choice question, and another one that can't be chosen wrong no matter how you choose it.
When Dong Fan gave the choice to Xiao Lu, she had already lost badly. If Xiao Lu chooses her, then once Hehe has any bad results, Dong Fan will have to bear the guilt and Xiao Lu's complaints, and whether the marriage can continue at that time is also a problem.
If Xiao Lu chooses Hehe, then the path she can take is either to endure the pain of leaving and the marriage to break up, or to endure the pain of acceptance, then this marriage is doomed to be devastated and will not heal.
For Xiao Lu, Dong Fan endured too many things that should not have been borne by her. She didn't do anything wrong, she never hurt anyone, she was just a girl who was looking forward to love and marriage.
She did not have too much intersection with Hehe, and it was not like Xie Tianhua had the identity of Hehe's father. She is an outsider in the incident, but she has suffered no less harm than the parties, how innocent.
Write at the end:
Death has more magic than anything, it can turn the dry into a jade veil, it can turn the impossible into a possibility, it can make the undesirable become understandable.
The BIGGEST FEELING FOR ME IN THE TV SERIES "Dear Child" is that no one is completely right, and no one is completely wrong. Everyone is doing their best for their role in this world.
Whether it is Fang Yinuo, Xie Tianhua and Dong Fan, they are destined to make a choice when they strive to be a good mother, a good husband, and a good wife.
Man's energy is limited, man's ability is limited, and in the face of impermanent fate, man is so small. A heroic struggle for the sake of a child, no one can retreat completely.
We don't have to dwell on who is in it, who is right and who is wrong. As viewers, we only need to examine our own lives from it, and draw feelings and thoughts that are beneficial to ourselves, which is enough.
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.