Big Bull Busy Marriage Emotional Case Series
Keywords: marriage, divorce, family
Article length: 4500 words
Original articles, plagiarism must be investigated
Love can give you unlimited imagination, but marriage doesn't give you unlimited opportunities...
This sentence comes from the final comment section of a divorce case, doesn't it sound very heartfelt?
In the feelings of many people who have come over, the most painful memories often come from the most affectionate love. Most of those unsuspecting sorrows boil down to once self-righteous imaginations.
Marriage requires husband and wife to be in the same heart, and sometimes it does feel like a bumpy practice. Bumps are not terrible, I am afraid that there are too many intersections ahead. Many couples will find that marriage is not equal to love as they walk...
In this divorce case, a woman once described this lament about divorce:
I didn't expect my husband to dare to agree to divorce me.
That year, The second treasure was not yet 1 year old, and we ended the marriage relationship in a quarrel. Although I didn't want to get divorced like this, my self-esteem told me that I must not bow my head in front of him.
I must prove it to him that I can eat it wherever I go. Divorce doesn't scare me at all, beautiful women can't get married!
Even without you, we can both live well. As long as I am willing to marry, I can always find a better man to marry. In a certain month of a certain year, I want to find a new father for Erbao and form a happier family. At that time, even if you kneel in front of me and beg for my forgiveness, I will not shed a tear for you...
Now that I have been divorced for more than 4 years, I have long lost the stubbornness and self-confidence of that year, and I feel more and more that I am living a very sad life.
The other day I spent my 5th birthday with Erbao, and the happy family I imagined was still empty. There is no love, no warmth, only the two of us continue to rely on each other...
First, the husband does not let the child follow my surname, too selfish
Let me tell you about this lady's marriage case, and I will tell it in her tone. I only narrate truthfully, and all the content readers understand for themselves. To improve readability, I've sorted it out in timeline order.
Not long after giving birth to the second treasure that year, there was a contradiction in the marriage. During those days, my husband and I often quarreled, and unconsciously affected the relationship between husband and wife.
Erbao is a boy, and my parents want the child to be with my family name. Hanging in my brother's name, nominally handed over to my brother to raise, in the future to my family heirs.
What a reasonable request, but the husband did not agree. Their whole family objected, and my mother-in-law scolded me for being selfish, saying that I was only thinking about my mother's family.
Ridiculous, this is like a thief shouting to catch a thief.
When did I become selfish, I have already given birth to a boy for my husband. I'm willing to let the boss take his last name, what else does he want?
Selfish people have always been him and his family, they deceive people too much, they don't care about my feelings!
In marriage, men and women are equal, and they are equal. No matter whose last name the child is, it is always our child. No matter who raises the child, the blood relationship will not change.
I still can't figure it out, what's wrong with letting a child change his surname?
Married for more than 3 years, I always thought that our husband and wife had a deep affection. As long as I ask, my husband will definitely agree to me. One person and one child is fair, and he has no reason to object at all.
But his attitude chilled my heart, and he couldn't talk about me in a reasonable way, so he used divorce to put pressure on me.
That day, my husband said viciously: Unless we divorce, no one can change the child's surname, you think clearly!
In the intermittent quarrels, I gradually realized that the love vows he had said back then were like nonsense. Can't even agree to this request, is he still a qualified husband?
I really wanted to cry without tears those days, and it was hard to imagine that I had married such a selfish man, and the more I thought about it, the more sad I became.
This marriage is not only sorry for my parents' expectations, but also sorry for my efforts, and even more sorry for his commitment to love...
You say I'm being unreasonable?
I didn't make a fuss about it, I had too much trouble in my heart, and my husband and family knew it. At that time, they promised me that the eldest would follow his surname, and if the second eldest was a boy, he would follow my surname.
If it weren't for these promises, how could I have married him in the first place?
Second, love is a woman's involuntariness
I should tell you about my family situation, I really don't want to be misunderstood by you. You say that I am unreasonable, but in fact I am just taking on the responsibility that I cannot shirk.
I have a younger brother who is 3 years younger than me and has been playing since he was a child.
Not long after his brother got engaged that year, he had an accident on a motorcycle outside. Since then, his right leg has been missing a section, his neck is not straight, and his brain is not very bright. To put it mildly, it is not easy for my brother to live. As for the marriage event, he could not do it in this life.
If she hadn't called my brother out all day, or if she hadn't t taught my brother to drink, how could it have been?
After this incident, the woman quickly changed her mind. She found another object, sent someone to my house to retire from marriage, and brought all the dowry to be returned. Until she retired from marriage, she did not want to see my brother.
Is the human heart realistic? I understand, what kind of heart is there!
Our whole family was very sad and did not want her and brother to leave the marriage.
But no one can stop this kind of thing, just like the younger brother, the snot can flow into the mouth, whose girl is still willing to marry him?
Such a smart and good child, who should have had a great life, was ruined by that woman for a lifetime...
Mom and Dad are very traditional people, after my brother was divorced, my parents cried at home all day. Grandpa is more traditional, he gave his father a "death order", and after our family recruited a son-in-law, we could not marry the child.
There are 2 people in the family, my brother and me, and this is for me. If my brother can't continue the incense for the family, then the only hope of the family will fall on my head.
Although I was reluctant, I couldn't bear to look at my parents sadly.
I've spoken to this point, can you understand it? Do you still say that I am unreasonable?
This is the biggest helplessness of women in this life, sometimes even marriage and love can not decide on their own. Everyone says I can't help myself, but no one is more involuntary than I am.
You know, I already had a boyfriend by then! We've all been talking for over 3 years, and we're only one step away from marriage! It was because of this incident that the relationship did not end.
I had a fight with my boyfriend, and I cried many times and begged him to join the family and let the child follow my family name in the future. He hesitated for a long time and did not agree, and even concealed that I was dating someone else. By the time I understood, they had already taken their wedding photos.
I was very heartbroken and told my boyfriend in a pleading tone that I love you and that I didn't mean to argue with you. I am willing to let go of all demands, not to ask you to join my family, but to marry you and live with you for the rest of my life.
How I wish my boyfriend had changed his decision, but unfortunately it was too late and we missed it forever...
Third, the original agreement between that love and marriage
You say I can not be wronged?
I was more wronged than anyone, and the failure of love deeply stung my heart. No one can comfort the pain in my heart, only tears tell me that from now on I can no longer submit to fate.
Now that I've come to this point, what am I afraid of? I can hide all my tears and go down this path of "stubbornness" and "selfishness" to the end...
Love has failed, and I can't say what I want. I have no more demands for love, and my only request for marriage is that my man will enter my family.
Yes, I had to. It was because of that blow of lost love that I became paranoid and stubborn.
In the years that followed, under the introduction of my family, I tried to go on blind dates more than a dozen times, but unfortunately all of them failed.
There are several men who are very kind to me, very sincere, and willing to join my family. My parents urged me again and again not to pick any more, but I really couldn't look at them.
Maybe my vision was too high, and I unconsciously rejected a dozen people.
In the intermittent blind dates, I only fell in love with 1 man. He was my future husband, my ex-husband today.
We talked about love, but when we talked about it, he suddenly changed his mind and didn't want to enter my house.
I deeply understood that if he didn't get into trouble, my parents would definitely let me break up with him. That means the relationship is about to fail, and I'll have to start all over again.
By then I was already deeply in love with him and reluctant to break up with him. I went to his house and begged bitterly, knelt down to his parents, and begged them to take their son into my house, but they didn't agree, preferring us to break up than agree!
Of course, I am very sad, I have met a good man, if I break up again, can I still marry out in the future? At that time, I was 29 years old and did not dare to drag it out any longer.
However, the orders of my parents cannot be violated, and my parents resolutely force me to break up, what else can I do?
After thinking about it, I made up my mind to break up with him. During those days, I almost washed my face with tears and continued to go on a blind date with a hard scalp.
Even if the blind date is only perfunctory, I have already put him in my heart, and I will not easily fall in love with others. I fantasize about miracles in our love, fantasize about the day when mom and dad will fulfill us...
Maybe it was the arrangement of fate, maybe it was the suffering of lovesickness, but we were quietly together again after 5 months of breakup. That love touched both parents, and after discussion, the two families took a step back.
My family no longer asked him to join the family, and his family also put down their insistence and promised to let a son with my family name in the future.
Yes, that's how we came together. Before getting married, he had vowed to love me for the rest of his life, understand my feelings, and make sure to let a son follow my family name in the future.
Because of their commitment, I was relieved to marry him.
Although I love him very much, without these commitments, maybe I would marry someone else and there would be no such pain...
Fourth, divorce is to fight for a breath
Before getting married he said it sincerely, beautifully, and vowed to have a boy in my family. All his vows are not only commitments made during the love period, but also the conscience after marriage.
At that time, the families of both sides agreed, and the neighbors all knew about it, so they signed and wrote down the pledge. I cared about his feelings and didn't ask him to write down the guarantees.
Not long after getting married, Dabao was born with his surname, if Erbao is still a boy, he should follow my surname, and he doesn't need me to say that he understands. But in the end he lied to me, and when they really needed to make good on their promises, they chose to forget...
Erbao is a boy, I am happy, my parents are happy, and our whole family is happy. Grandpa cried happily, and he saved all his life's money for me, saying that he would leave it to his little grandson to marry his daughter-in-law in the future.
I admit that my grandfather was very pedantic, but in terms of family and family attitude, I was touched by my grandfather's pedantry. At such an old age, he still can't forget the continuation of incense for thousands of generations, isn't this a kind of attachment?
The whole family is thinking about the family, what right do I have to shirk my own responsibilities?
I hope that my husband will implement this matter as soon as possible, but my husband said: Don't take your previous words too seriously, no man is willing to let his son and the woman's surname. If you continue to fool around, then we can only get a divorce...
How can I not be sad that he can say this?
I loved him so much that I persuaded my family to marry him. He did this to me, and he deceived me so bitterly!
Mom and Dad were disappointed in me, and Grandpa was disappointed in me. Even my mother-in-law said that I was selfish, and I only thought of my mother's family. We quarreled almost every day, and the relationship between husband and wife was getting worse and worse. I quarreled for more than half a year, and I got divorced almost every day.
Are you saying that it is really my fault that I have gotten to this point?
If they hadn't agreed to me, how could I have suffered so much frustration and grievance?
I love him and certainly don't want a divorce. But if I don't file for divorce, I can't explain it to my parents!
I really didn't expect him to dare to agree to divorce, but fortunately, the children are still young and can only live with me. I care about my own face, I care about the face of my family. Even if I knew then that I might be wrong, I didn't want to take back what I had said. He repeatedly asked me to remarry, and I refused to agree.
Divorce is about fighting for a breath, and I'm going to make him regret it for the rest of his life. I'm only 33 years old, I'm not ugly, I can marry even with children!
Now divorced for more than 4 years, the two treasures have passed their 5th birthday, and I have not found the right person...
A lot has happened in the past 4 years, and Grandpa has been gone for 3 years.
My brother was dying, he was eating too much and had something stuck in his head. In order to take care of my brother, my parents could not support me in raising my children, and I could only rely on myself in the future.
I longed for someone to lean on, and I tried to talk about a few loves, but they all failed. I have paid a lot of hard work, so I want to live my life steadily, but unfortunately no one really cares about us two...
Fifth, how much love can be returned in life
This divorce case is here, about half a month ago a woman who was divorced for 4 years.
There are 2 choices in front of her now, the first choice is to return to her ex-husband, provided that the ex-husband is still willing to accept her.
The second option is to go down a path to the black, if there is really a fate in the fate that has not yet been discovered, maybe as long as she persists, she can find happiness again. It's just that the road is more difficult, and she may not be able to meet that person.
I heard a colleague's sister say that her psychological state had long been in trouble. Now she wants to remarry, and her ex-husband is willing to remarry, but she has not yet made a final decision.
What does the future hold? I don't know the ending, but if they really still have love, of course it's best to remarry. If there is an eternal shadow in the heart, remarriage may also be a torture.
Regarding this case, I will not express too many views, just tell the truth, everyone who comes over has their own opinions, people are different.
There are many things in marriage, it is difficult to say an absolute right and wrong, which is precisely the biggest confusion in the relationship. She explained the past so clearly, mainly because she was too aggrieved in her heart, so that there were psychological problems.
On the surface, her marriage was torn apart by her parents. In fact, all the suffering had to be found in herself.
Since ancient times, the reasons for divorce have been strange, and in the final analysis, the husband and wife do not have deep feelings. There is no better reason, so sometimes confessing one's life is also an option.
The case at least clarified the common logic in several marriages, love can not make up their minds, marriage will not be happy. People who are overly paranoid, the marriage will not be happy. Life can have attachments, but don't take gains and losses too seriously, otherwise you can't pick up that weight anymore.
The experience of people who have come over can no longer change, but the deep logic of marriage can tell many new people. Love and marriage are not the same, marriage issues do not talk too absolutely, otherwise it is easy to hurt yourself. In the end, many people will always find that love and life cannot withstand the reality of life.
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