Wen | condensed mother's understanding
Sleeping with children is a very grinding job!
Always think of letting the child go to bed early, the child sleeps enough, the body and brain develop well. You can also do a small business or enjoy the nightlife. But how can a child be so obedient, always tossing and turning not to sleep, making you anxious.
The child just wants his parents to play with him for a while, where he knows how to cater to the small plan of adults, the more you urge him, yell at him, snub him, the more he does not sleep, or rejoices, or cries, it will make you unconscious.
Erbao used to be the master who did not like to sleep, and always had to play until late. If you are obsessed with one thing, you don't want to sleep before going to bed and don't want to finish it, and you can't urge it.
There was a time when I especially liked to walk the maze, I had to complete 30 mazes in two books, but I was already particularly sleepy, the brain energy was insufficient, the thinking ability was limited, the energy was not concentrated, and I couldn't find the right route, so I was anxious to cry.
I told him "You're sleepy, go to bed first, and play tomorrow!" ”
Erbao still did not admit it, crying and saying, "Not sleepy, not sleepy."
I had to agree with him to continue playing, seeing that he was irritable, so I quickly helped him find a route, so that he could break his nose and laugh. It was hard to finish before I started sleeping.
Sometimes, I didn't finish my work, my heart was worried about things, I was particularly anxious, I wasn't so impatient, I couldn't help but count him a few words, urging him to go to sleep quickly, he cried and fluttered, and fell asleep with tears very reluctantly.
I regret watching him cry and fall asleep, because I once read studies on sleep and brain development, and children crying and falling asleep is not good for growth.
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) guidelines state that if a child experiences intense stimulation before going to bed, it will not only affect sleep quality and brain development, but also affect personality development.
Japanese pediatrician Naoko Narita has said that if a child is restless and stressed too much, the secretion of serotonin will naturally decrease. Serotonin is an important neurotransmitter that is essential for cultivating a sound brain.
Children's brains are more likely to fatigue during the developmental stages and need more sleep than adults. If the quality of sleep is not high due to crying and falling asleep, sleep is not enough, which will affect physical development and mental state, and even affect the parent-child relationship.
A friend said that when the child was more than 2 years old, he did not realize the importance of comfort before going to bed, and saw that he did not sleep and quarreled with him, he cried and slept, so that he would have nightmares at night and suddenly cry.
I also found that crying and falling asleep will bring bad results, as long as Erbao cries and falls asleep, the next day the state is not very good, sometimes even refuse to sleep with her mother, want to sleep with her grandmother. There was a saying that "whoever the child sleeps with is the child", and every parent does not want such an outcome.
In order to let the child sleep well, I also made a lot of efforts, tried to do 3 things, insisted on a year, let the child's mood stability, harvested a high-quality sleep until dawn, and more amazing joy.
The first thing is to communicate with your child
Talking to children can understand children more accurately, help children solve problems, and alleviate bad emotions. In this way, children can have a sense of security, trust their parents more, deepen their parent-child feelings, and lay a good foundation for everything in the future.
Don't look at the child is small, there are many troubles encountered, as long as you ask specific questions, you will find some hidden problems.
Children play with toys do not play well, children do not play with themselves, teachers cancel extracurricular activities, do not go to handicraft classes, other children will dance themselves will not, there are words in the book they do not know, meals are not delicious, mother did not pick him up in time to finish school, stool is not good and so on.
Eating, drinking, pulling, sprinkling, playing, learning, big things and small emotions will make children feel troubled.
After we understand the child's problems, we will give targeted support, or give comfort and encouragement, so that he is full of confidence, and the child's mood will become comfortable.
For example, I asked Erbao what extracurricular activities were playing, but Erbao was unhappy and said, "The teacher said that the extracurricular activities should be cancelled and that they will not be able to play in the future." I asked him why he canceled it, and Erbao said it was because they were too noisy.
I told him, "The teacher just canceled this time, and as long as you follow the rules, extracurricular activities will continue as usual." Also, if the weather is bad, extracurricular activities will be canceled. ”
Erbao said that he understood, the next day the extracurricular activities continued as usual, Erbao was particularly happy to announce the good news, and what his mother said was indeed true.
"Cultivating children is to cultivate the brain" mentioned that after the age of 3, you can have simple conversations with children and promote language ability, which is to promote the development of the "thinking brain".
It is very appropriate to communicate with 3-year-old children, because children have strong language skills, can express some things more clearly, and most of them go to kindergarten, have more social opportunities, encounter more problems, and chat is very necessary.
If the child is about 2 years old, the language ability is well developed, and he can communicate with adults, he can also take this step.
The second thing is to have a strategic compliment for the child
The language of praise is like making the child eat honey as joyful, praise the child, the child must have a good mood, with sweetness into sleep, and can make the child full of confidence, positive.
Professor Susan Ward, a psychologist, said: "Children will always believe what their parents say about themselves and turn them into their own ideas." ”
If you often praise the child's good side, the child will try to perform better as we praise him in order to achieve more praise.
Use growth thinking, from the perspective of affirming the child's "effort" and "progress", praise the child, the content of the praise has many changes, not to be poor, so that the child feels that you are admiring him from the heart, affirming him, and will receive the expected effect.
From the daily small things such as children eating, dressing, and going to the toilet, to the interaction of friends, language expression, intelligent development and other aspects, you can find shining points and praise children vigorously.
When you see a good performance, you will boast, so that the child gets immediate encouragement and ensures the timeliness of the praise. Summative praise in the evening, let the child know that there are many good performances in one day, and it is even more self-confidence.
For example, Erbao's performance in one day has so many:
Three meals a day ate yellow, red, and green foods, and the nutrition was comprehensive. Now pulling the stool once a day is particularly good, which is also the result of a good meal. Talk softly when playing, which does not affect the brother's class. Had a great time outside and had a lot of activities. When you play with trains, you can also make up stories. I started reading English, my tongue started to bend and I held on well.
When Erbao hears these praises, he will repeat them, saying that he will do better, and the changes day by day are really quite large.
The third thing is to read storybooks and fall asleep
Every child likes to listen to stories, some parents are particularly strong, will make up stories for their children, most parents can not do this, or read storybooks to their children.
Reading bedtime stories will not only make children feel a warm and affectionate atmosphere and obtain stable emotions, but also deepen their memories and must be used well.
Wei Kunlin mentioned in "Where is the Future Super-Brain Teenager" that the hour or two before going to bed is the golden period of memory, when the knowledge of memory will be consolidated during sleep.
Because after reading the story before going to bed, go to bed immediately, it is rarely disturbed by information and does not produce any memory conflicts, so it is easy to fix in the brain.
The morning after waking up is the most active thinking, suitable for some activities with higher thinking ability requirements.
Therefore, I discussed with Erbao, put the maze game, logical thinking training in front, and only read the story before going to bed. And agreed to go to bed after reading a few books, and he readily agreed. After reading the book, Erbao was able to fall asleep peacefully.
At the same time, because he often listens to stories, Erbao has made great progress in terms of habits, social interactions, emotions, behavior, literacy and other aspects, and now he can read stories to adults by himself, which is very fulfilling.
In short, an hour before going to bed, communicate with the child, praise the child, tell the child a story, insist on a period of time, you will find that the child has amazing changes, let's do it together.
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
Accompany children to read, English enlightenment, science enlightenment
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