In the traditional culture of the mainland, "divorce" has never been a glorious and simple thing, let alone buried in the soil to more than half of the elderly.
I have endured most of my life, so why can't I put up with it anymore?
Isn't there any truth to the so-called "less husband and wife" difficult?
What about the child's face?
After the pension, burial...
However, in recent years, both the statistics of the Civil Affairs Bureau and the census data have shown that the elderly who have been influenced by traditional culture and have endured most of their lives have begun to love themselves willfully, setting off a climax of divorce in the elderly.
Around us, more and more elderly people have begun to choose to start a new life by ending inferior marriages.
Today the child is married, tomorrow I will leave home.
"My name is Double Happiness Linmen." Aunt Wu said.
This double joy, one finger, his young son is married, and the second finger, he is going to divorce.
Aunt Wu, 57, and her husband met in the countryside in the 1980s.
At that time, Aunt Wu was young and beautiful, combing two large braids, and was a good hand at working outside the home.
The husband, on the other hand, failed the college entrance examination and was idle at home.
After being introduced, the two are also considered to be affectionate and talented.
Aunt Wu did not dislike her husband's poor family and married into a hut made of adobe.
After marriage, the husband believes that he has knowledge and culture, does not pay attention to housework, does not do farm work, and is bent on doing business to make a lot of money.
Before and after the birth of three children, the husband never intervened in any affairs about the child, but when he was a child, he felt that the child was upset and annoyed, and when he was older, he felt that the child was naughty...
In addition, the husband often picked his nose and eyes to Aunt Wu, and when he encountered inappropriate meals, he smashed the plate and smashed the bowl, a reprimand.
The husband's business was produced by small workshops and factories, and the money was naturally earned more and more, and with it, it was an unacceptable vice.
Around the age of 30, the husband began to drink heavily, a big scene for three days, a small field for two days, drinking happily, coming back to sleep, unhappy, daughter-in-law, children suffered, non-beating or scolding, leaving the smiley face and good words to outsiders.
Around the age of 40, her husband was infected with gambling habits, lost all his savings, completely ignoring the fact that his children were facing the college entrance examination, and the elderly needed to be treated.
Later, in order to make a living, Aunt Wu bought a second-hand tricycle for three years, and got up early and went to the county construction site to steam buns to sell.
No matter the wind and rain, the severe cold and heat, the husband has not picked up once, and his heart has been painful.
After that, the husband's business gradually improved, and the family moved to the city.
There is no doubt that soon the husband added to the vice of cheating.
"They are all in their 60s, they are grandfathers, they are still hanging out with other women, they feel very attractive, and when they say it, I will humiliate him." Aunt Wu said.
Nowadays, the younger sons are married, do not have to care about the face of the children, to take care of their own face, Aunt Wu firmly proposed divorce.
You can get a pension and you can get a divorce.
Aunt Wang chose to divorce when she got her first pension.
Aunt Wang, 55, and her husband have been married for 36 years.
In the early years, the two worked in the same factory, and after being introduced, they fell in love at first sight and soon entered the marriage hall.
But when they were in their 30s, they both suffered layoffs.
For a time, the economy was tight, the pot could not be opened, the children were still young, and the 4 elderly needed to be taken care of.
The two decided to let their husband go to the sea to do business, and Aunt Wang took care of the children and the elderly. Outside the male and female, the division of labor is clear, and it is difficult to live a life.
In the past ten years, the children have graduated from primary school to college, and of the four elderly people, two have been paralyzed for more than three years, and the other two need to be cared for all year round.
Aunt Wang is not a nanny, better than a nanny; not a nurse, better than a nurse.
If you want a penny, you have to look at your husband's face.
Eight out of ten dollars are spent on the elderly and children.
Later, even if the economic conditions were good, the husband's discipline of Aunt Wang never relaxed. Once, Aunt Wang wanted to attend her niece's wedding banquet, wanted to buy beautiful clothes, and timidly opened her mouth to her husband.
But the husband said, "You are a bad old woman, who still looks at you?" Hiding in the corner, pulling two mouthfuls of food to eat enough, dressing so good, but it makes people laugh. ”
At that time, Aunt Wang was only 40 years old.
When the daughter got married, everyone advised Aunt Wang to dress up well.
First, take the opportunity to buy yourself a few more decent clothes; second, support the façade for your daughter, so that her daughter will not be angry when she marries.
But Aunt Wang's heart was like a stone, when she expressed to her husband that she wanted to buy a gold necklace, but her husband ridiculed her vanity and foreign appearance, saying that a housewife who did not earn money brought real money and silver, and others also felt that it was fake.
Later, the husband actually bought her a fake one.
It made my aunt want to cry without tears.
What makes Aunt Wang even more chilling is that her husband not only has strict economic requirements for her, but also treats her as a nanny in life, and scolds her without beating.
Even last year, because her husband accidentally broke his leg, he lay on the bed, let Aunt Wang serve, and put a crutch next to him at any time, and when he was not satisfied, he raised the crutch to intimidate Aunt Wang.
Aunt Wang is most fortunate that a few years ago, when the state implemented the policy, she begged for her husband, borrowed some money from her brothers and sisters, and paid the pension insurance.
Since August of this year, she received her first pension.
Although it is not much, it is enough for her who is healthy and still has a labor force.
"I can be independent and I can get a divorce." Aunt Wang said, "But he no longer has a free babysitter to call, and I give others a babysitter, there is respect, there is food and clothing, there is a salary, there is dignity, it is like a new life." ”
30 years of face, buried my 30 years of happiness.
Aunt Sun, 53, has spent 34 spring and autumn with her husband.
Aunt Sun is a grassroots civil servant, intellectually elegant, humble and courteous, efficient in handling affairs, and is a well-known capable woman in the unit.
At home, Aunt Sun is also a good hand, inside and out, clean, in-laws and sisters-in-law get along well, it can also be said that she is a strong woman, she is not allowed to say a "no" word.
Aunt Sun's husband was originally also a civil servant, but when she was more than 40 years old, she was promoted and secretly surrendered in the political path, and after abandoning her, she simply went to the sea to do business.
With his accumulated connections and flexible mind, he soon broke out of the world and opened his own factory, with hundreds of employees, before and after, extremely beautiful.
The benefits that her husband brought to Aunt Sun are well known: high-end clothes and jewelry, bigger houses, better cars... Let Aunt Sun earn enough face.
But the grievances and humiliations brought by her husband to Aunt Sun, Aunt Sun could only digest and endure alone.
For decades, the two have been calm and talked no more than 10 times, and have been separated for more than 5 years.
For the flowers and plants outside her husband, Aunt Sun also forced herself to turn a blind eye and turn a deaf ear.
I thought that I could live like this all the time, and I would be ruined until I was old, but a recent incident completely hurt the face of Aunt Sun, who wanted the most face.
Recently, Aunt Sun and her colleagues went to the mall, and between breaks, Aunt Sun saw her husband and a woman checking out in a brand store.
The woman, young and fashionable, with exquisite makeup, was next to a child of about three or four years old.
How many hearsay, it is better than seeing.
She could have chosen to turn a blind eye, but she didn't listen to her feet.
When she approached, she really frightened her husband, and immediately gave the woman a look, and the woman knew about it, and immediately pulled the child and fled in a hurry.
But at that moment, Aunt Sun felt that her embarrassment, humiliation, and humiliation were no less than that of the little third who fled into the wilderness.
It was also at that moment that she realized that the family she had struggled to maintain, the face she had desperately protected, and the favor she had won by condescending were worthless compared to the actual happiness.
After 30 years of marriage, with a flick of a finger, his face buried his own happiness for 30 years. Divorce is her helpless and firm choice.
Without children, tickets, and face considerations, would you still want your current marriage?
Compared with many considerations when young people divorce, the children of the elderly have become a family, the economy has not much to ask for, and the face cannot be compared with the actual happiness, so the divorce of the elderly has more firmness and freedom.
This firmness and freedom of the elderly really makes middle-aged people who are trapped in inferior marriages, trapped by children underage, economically independent, and still need to maintain their faces envy and envy.
However, what I want to say is that the courage to get rid of inferior marriage, for the elderly, is a helpless new life, as a middle-aged person, in the face of their own marriage, they should learn some lessons, manage their marriage well, and avoid being helpless in marriage.
First, keep the bottom line of loyalty.
Infidelity may not directly lead to the dissolution of the marriage, but the damage it can do to the partner, the family, and even the children is profound and lasting.
It can also be said that once you cheat, although there is marriage, there is no happiness.
Second, take responsibility in marriage.
Husband, father, son, son-in-law; wife, mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, are the most important roles of each person in marriage, and each role, innately, has its unshirkable responsibility.
The two people in marriage must not only perform their duties, but also support each other, understand each other, and overcome difficulties together.
Again, accumulate a sense of intimacy between husband and wife.
In addition to the tedious chores and endless problems, whenever you want, don't forget to give your partner love and romance.
These loves and romances can increase the happiness and sweetness of marriage in ordinary days, and in times of crisis, they will be the strength to accompany each other and never give up.
In short, if every divorce is premeditated, then every kind of happiness must also be accumulated.
May we all understand in marriage:
Today's cause must be the result of tomorrow, and to be kind to one's partner is to be kind to oneself.
The rest of your life may be long, the rest of your life may be short, work hard to manage, and let the marriage add color to the rest of your life.