01
There are difficult scriptures in the family, but in the end, it is because the three views of family members are different.
Everyone likes to deal with people who are similar to themselves, and for people with big differences in ideas, they are not speculative, but if these people are your family, how do you balance this family?
Many times, we have a certain generation gap with our parents, after all, the times experienced are different, and there will always be differences in ideas.
Generally inconsequential small issues, we don't care who is right and who is wrong, but if there is a problem of principle, we cannot tolerate it.
02
Xiao Zhang is a rare college student at a key university in the village, in order to let him go out of the village, he does not have to live all day to look up and look up is the life of a peasant who is the ground, Xiao Zhang's father has always been very strict with Xiao Zhang.
Xiao Zhang's father was a medical student and was very knowledgeable, but that era made him a barefoot doctor in the village, while Xiao Zhang's mother could not read a few characters, and she was more arbitrary.
Xiao Zhang also has a younger sister, because her mother is spoiled and did not study well, she dropped out of school after graduating from junior high school.
In the second year of Xiao Zhang's university graduation, when he planned to take his family to the city, his father was diagnosed with liver cancer and died not long after, which was the darkest day of Xiao Zhang's life, but he still had to be strong, after all, there was still a mother and sister who needed his care.
At that time, Xiao Zhang had only graduated for a year, the salary was not very much, and because of the death of his father, he was very hard hit by him, he did not think about going to work, his job was lost, and the large house he rented was also recovered by the landlord because of the arrears of rent, and the family of three could only squeeze in the basement to survive.
Her mother and sister did not understand her, and felt that it was better to go back to their hometown together, at least the place where they lived was spacious, which made Xiao Zhang more depressed.
During that time, Xiao Zhang's life appeared a person who was very important to him, that is, Xiao Zhang's wife, when everyone ignored Xiao Zhang's feelings, it was his wife who gave him comfort, let him feel a glimmer of light, and regain confidence.
Xiao Zhang did not have much money in his hand when he got married, all the savings were taken out to buy a diamond ring for his wife, and the house at home was bought by his wife's mother,, but even so, his wife still bought a three-room room and took her mother-in-law and sister-in-law into it. But this is precisely the beginning of the misfortune of family life.
Some people, born without knowing how to be grateful, take the kindness of others to her as a matter of course.
Xiao Zhang's mother has favored her sister since she was a child, and now that her sister is so old, she wants to work without a job, she wants no object, and her mother does not think about tea and food all day.
Xiao Zhang naturally also hopes that his sister can live a good life, but his sister's delicious and lazy personality, Xiao Zhang can't do anything.
In the end, Xiao Zhang's wife dragged her friends to help her sister find a job selling flowers, which is also a salary, but the mother and sister are not only not grateful, but also feel that the wife is deliberately taunting her sister, in their concept, selling flowers is not a serious job.
The final work was not done, and Xiao Zhang's wife was quite faceless in front of her friends.
In the first few years of marriage, the family always quarreled for three days, most of which were because Xiao Zhang's mother and sister were unreasonable.
Once, everyone was watching TV happily, there was a cat and a dog on the TV, the dog especially loved the cat, the wife laughed and Xiao Zhang said: "I am the cat, you are the dog." "
This caused great dissatisfaction to the mother, and she and her wife were angry on the spot: "Do you think that we can belittle us by living in your house?" If you think my son is not worthy of your divorce, why say that my son is a dog! "
Although this contradiction was quickly calmed down under Xiao Zhang's mediation, such things kept happening, and later the wife simply did not speak at home, who knows which sentence made the mother-in-law unhappy.
In the noisy and noisy days, Xiao Zhang also persuaded his mother many times, don't always think that everyone looks down on her, everyone wants to harm her, think of people better, but the mother can't listen to a word.
Sister has not worked, but eat and drink, all have to be his brother out, for a while did not ask him for money, she also thought that the sister changed the evil, decided to share the worries for the family, and later learned that it was to find his wife to ask for money, spent his wife's money and said bad things about his wife, Xiao Zhang really felt that he was too conniving with this sister.
But the father before his death is the most difficult to let go of the sister, he can not really ignore her, and the real contradiction broke out, after the wife gave birth to the child.
When the wife was pregnant, the mother was happy, that was the first time Xiao Zhang saw her mother smile at her wife, those days were the only days of family harmony, and all the beauty came to an abrupt end after the wife gave birth.
The wife suffered from uterine fibroids, and the cyst was so large that the cyst was so large that there was no way but to give birth by caesarean section and to remove the uterus at the same time.
The mother has always been confident that she wants a grandchild, but what she gave birth to is a girl, and because of the operation, the wife has no possibility of getting pregnant again, which makes Xiao Zhang's mother very dissatisfied.
Fortunately, Xiao Zhang has been taking care of his wife during the month, and he has also avoided his wife from hearing some gossip from his mother and sister, but sometimes, repeated tolerance will only make others more vicious.
The wife gave birth to a child and was injured, and the mother's family specially bought tens of thousands of yuan of supplements to send over, hoping that the wife would get better soon, but these supplements disappeared overnight.
There were only a few people in the family, either mother or sister, fortunately, they had not been out recently, and Xiao Zhang finally found supplements in his sister's bedroom.
In a hurry, Xiao Zhang slapped his sister fiercely: "If you don't learn no techniques, when did you learn to steal things?" I really don't know how my mother taught you, usually conniving at you, even if you don't care, why, why do you have a thief in the future? Father knows that he has to be angry with you! "
The mother who heard the noise wanted to say something, but in the end she did not speak.
After that day, Xiao Zhang rented a house outside for his mother and sister, and he only felt that he did not do it earlier, so that his wife had suffered so many years in vain.
03
We think that a bowl of water is very flat, but in the eyes of others, it is very biased, but most people are more concerned about their own interests.
First: No matter who it is, they should put themselves in the right position in the family relationship.
The family is also a micro-society, and everyone should do their part and not cross the line.
Many old people like to mix things with their children, obviously the son and daughter-in-law are very happy, in the eyes of the mother, it is indeed the daughter-in-law who has no intentions, the daughter-in-law is not worthy of the son, why does his daughter-in-law have no other family's daughter-in-law to be well-behaved and sensible?
The days are the couple's own life, the parents will only be more mixed and more chaotic, if the couple really has a problem, it is just that, no problem to find a problem, it is a bit impossible to say.
If parents participate in their sons' marriages, in essence, to make their sons happy, then most of the problems of sister-in-law mixing with brothers and sisters-in-law are added to the chaos.
And the most important bond in the family, the wife's husband, should be more clear about their duties, after all, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are right and wrong, many are the authorities of the fans, who is not only the bystander can see clearly, just to see whether the husband, the bystander, is willing to see clearly.
We have met many men who are only motherly, and when dealing with family conflicts, no matter whose problems they are, they are blamed on their wives, and such a family is generally difficult to be happy.
Mastering the code of happiness is actually a fair password, and it may be because of such a practice that one party is unhappy, but in family conflicts, there must always be one party to show weakness.
Second: Marrying someone, choosing a good mother-in-law is equally important.
As more and more people advocate love freedom, more and more people are beginning to care about the door, do not care about the original family, and do not care about whether the mother-in-law is beneficial.
Many girls feel that getting married is to live with their husbands and two people, and there is not much relationship with their mother-in-law, and now it is not the kind of person who wants to live in the big yard, look up and don't look down, everyone has their own way, giving each other enough space.
Is it really possible not to meet?
Now girls will indeed not be like before, the biggest responsibility of marrying into the door is to teach their husbands and children, take care of their in-laws, but now the pressure of young people is also very large, most couples need to work to earn money to support the family, children naturally need someone to help take care of, so they still can't escape and the mother-in-law looks up and looks down to see fate.
Besides, the in-laws have an old day, as a daughter-in-law can not take care of? At that time, there will still be many contradictions.
Therefore, it is impossible not to deal with the mother-in-law, and examining the mother-in-law before marriage plays a vital role in whether you can live happily in the future.
Text/No Pen