Interpret the trailer
Why are punishments and indulgences bad for children and don't work?
How to cultivate good qualities that benefit children for life with positive discipline that is neither punishing nor indulgent?
How can positive discipline be used to automatically eliminate bad behavior in children?
How do you win your child's cooperation with parents and teachers?
How to dissolve the power struggle between adults and children?
What harm does "super parents" do to their children?
What are the positive and negative effects of parents of various personalities on their children?
How can parents play to the strengths of their personalities and avoid the adverse effects of their shortcomings on their children?
How can teachers avoid causing discipline problems for students?
Do you have this idea:
To be strict with the child is to be responsible for him, or the child should grow up happily. Is there something wrong with the discipline you've been practicing for years?
Doctor of Education, Founder of the Positive Discipline Association in the United States, Jane Nelson," will help you answer questions.
Since its first edition in 1981, this book has become the "golden rule" for disciplining children.
Positive discipline is a method of discipline that neither punishes nor pampers.
How can positive discipline be used to enable children to achieve good qualities that will benefit them for life? This book will teach you how to use these methods.
The sentence that impressed me the most:
"When parents and teachers are too strict and too controlled, children cannot develop a sense of responsibility;
When parents and teachers are too pampered with their children, children cannot develop a sense of responsibility. ”
Teenagers from the age of three to adolescence, as well as their parents and teachers, have completely changed the atmosphere at home and school and changed their lives because of this book.
The book "Positive Discipline" has been translated into 16 languages and sold more than 6 million copies worldwide, so you deserve a read!
Learn to respect your child and win your child's cooperation
Learn to respect the child, win the child's cooperation, and use a method that is neither harsh nor arrogant (kind but firm) to cultivate the child's good character and skills.
Parents are the first to make a change.
Try to make you change the order of your hands crossing each other, and you'll feel very uncomfortable, let alone change the parenting style that you have accumulated over time or never thought to change.
When you want to improve your shortcomings on the road of parenting and abandon some of the negative energy brought by the original family, it means that you have realized that raising children needs to learn some skills and make some adjustments to make him grow better but not listen to you more.
There is a saying that loves him instead of loving him, I think, you are willing to learn for your child the parenting tool of "making him feel better and doing better" - positive discipline, is really loving him, really raising him.
So the most important thing to change yourself is to control your emotions, I don't know if you have found that when you are in a good mood and a bad mood, you see two children, in fact, they are the same child, the angel when you are in a good mood, the devil when you are in a bad mood.
Explain what it means that your emotions influence your attitude toward your children.
So you need a lot of learning, using positive pauses to withdraw bad emotions, in order to treat children's education problems peacefully and kindly.
Don't say that I love my child and speak harshly to him like thunder, that love is too fake, has no gold content.
Of course, everyone will have a time when they are depressed, so we try not to educate our children when they are in a bad mood.
Analyze and study yourself on weekdays, sort out your emotions as soon as possible, find a suitable outlet for your emotional catharsis, and discharge some negative energy.
Remember, it's hard to change yourself but you can do it, you can never change others, everyone's mind is unique and uncontrollable, and you can only be yourself and influence others.
The child is a mirror of you, reflecting your appearance, we all want to see the mirror of people with love and kindness on a variety of excellent qualities full of positive energy, not ... At this point, I believe you know what to do.
Before using the tool, please first connect with the child's emotions, open the link, and then the water drops through the stone, and then your child will see the change in the future.
When your love has energy, and they also love you and are willing to cooperate with you, you will find the most intimate parent-child relationship, and many problems will be solved.
The influence of your personality on the child's personality
The emotions of belief behind us are more important than what we do directly!
In fact, this part involves our own parents' original personality, value orientation, cognition, etc., including the "influence of your personality on children's personality" mentioned in chapter 10 of this book.
In fact, raising children is to constantly improve our own process, let us become a better self, make up for the parts that we have not developed well before, and thus "by the way" become better parents.
Parenting is actually self-rearing!
If our psychology and what we say and what we do are two different things, then when we use any parenting method, it is manipulating the child, not really teaching the child with love.
A child's earliest behavior stems from how he sees himself in the early days, how he sees his relationship with others, how he sees his relationship with his parents, and how he thinks others see him.
These are things that are subconscious to the child, not at the conscious level, that the child experiences in life and that spontaneously acts from these experiences.
The deep orientation of these behaviors is that children should develop themselves and gain a sense of belonging and value. A sense of belonging and a sense of worth is the most important and lowest need of a person.
Sometimes why does the child do something with anti-behavior, or some behavior that seems inconceivable to adults, as parents, we should be the crackers of the child's password, try to understand why the child is like this, is he balancing some of his missing sense of security or love?
So as to get the sense of belonging and value he needs? Or is the child at some sensitive stage?
We need to get to know the child in depth. We should not focus on the child's own behavior, but on the motivation and needs behind it.
Children are social people!
I think it's important to raise a child that you satisfy his sense of belonging and make him reflect his self-worth.
The premise of satisfying a sense of belonging is that you love your child unconditionally, whenever and wherever you are.
The child has a sense of security, and he will do well if he feels good.
Regarding self-worth, I think it is important to give choice. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish, let go when it is time to let go, let them try, and practice to know.
Even if we make mistakes, we see it as an opportunity to learn, and many times the child is not wrong, but we feel that the model that is not what we are used to is like a disaster, that is, the parents have lost the courage to try the new model.
If the child wants to try and reflect his value, then we will let them try, give a sense of existence, and a sense of identity is much better than you directly telling him the "shortcut".
The road to exploration is full of thorns, and you need to comfort and cheer him up when he is injured, not even give the child the right to be injured.
I hope that the small tree will grow strongly, and it is your wish not to be a greenhouse flower, then you will push a little force at a critical moment, and let him go forward with curiosity and childlike heart at other times.
In life, parents are not the child's full-time nanny, just eat and drink, parenting is your parents, sometimes his friends, sometimes his teachers, and even sometimes you have to swap roles, let him play the role of parents and teachers, and learn from him.
Our children come to the house to make us better selves.
Write at the end
Positive discipline is a book, a parenting style and a parenting curriculum based on experiential teaching methods.
Positive discipline is a way of raising children without punishment or indulgence, so that parents can establish a kind and firm parenting attitude, and master a variety of effective ways to solve problems, so as to gain patience and wisdom for themselves and children.
The book says:
"Positive discipline is a method that is neither harsh nor arrogant, it is a kind and determined way to develop children's skills based on self-control."
One of the biggest mistakes adults make is asking their children rather than giving them options.
What to do is never as important as how to do it.
Whenever adults are caught up in a power struggle or cycle of revenge with their children, do not enter the inner world of their children, do not take the time to train their children, forget about being kind and firm, speak in a disrespectful tone of voice, or use any other form of punishment, they are likely to cause "disappointment" in their children.
Adults have a leadership responsibility to help children develop character that will make their lives happy and fulfilling.
It is our duty to provide our children with a good foundation that allows them to build their own good lives.
Teaching children self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills is helping them build a great foundation.
When children demonstrate these qualities and skills, they will have a stronger sense of belonging and worth, which will manifest itself in their behavior.
Click "Watching" and get along properly with your child.
END