Some time ago, a program listed the 5 sentences that parents hurt their children the most, and these 5 sentences are the most fundamental factors that lead to children's inferiority and self-confidence, and confrontation with parents.
1. When did I promise you?
2, what is the use of me raising you
3, if you continue like this, I don't want you
4, I have long told you not to do this, you just do not listen
5, I am there for your own good
Parents always have times when they can't help but lose their temper, but don't say these words when they can't help it. Some parents even put the above words on their lips and often talk about their children.
In fact, there are only parents in this world who do not teach well, and there are no disobedient children. The root cause of children's disobedience is that parents do not teach their children from the right perspective.
Adults like to use their own experience to set a standard for children, in their opinion is that this should be the standard you can do, if the child can not do it is the child's wrong, think that the child did not care to do this thing.
However, from the child's point of view, everything about himself is erased by the parents, who cannot see their own interests, do not know their feelings, and do not understand the child's expression.
Another feature of education is that the authorities are obsessed, Fu Liping, a parenting expert, is the head of the way of teaching others to educate outside, but he is also stupid in his own daughter.
Her daughter also has a lot of problems, each time is a timely correction, but found that the effect is not ideal, she herself is also very anxious, collecting a variety of information from herself to find the cause, slowly summarized the common diseases of education.
Education in general comes in two forms, one is reward and the other is intimidation. Many parents will say that if you score a perfect score this time, I will take you to the playground, which is a reward education.
The bonus type generally gets a better effect, and it is an immediate effect. However, slowly, the amount of chips that need to be rewarded becomes larger and larger, and slowly it will reduce the child's interest.
The consequence of intimidation education is that the child will not listen to you during the rebellious period, and will in turn threaten you, so that you cannot scold him, and eventually this education will fail.
Some educational concepts are understood by parents, but they will not be implemented specifically, or they do not understand what to do when they are implemented.
Parents should learn to discipline their children positively, what is positive discipline. To reach an agreement with the child, respect the child, guide the child, let the child develop their own learning habits and living habits, and use their own ideological system.
Discipline children with a kind attitude and firm belief
Attitude is the focus of education, when the child encounters a problem, do not immediately reprimand the child, do not immediately argue with the child. Discuss it with your child when you are able to calm down.
The first thing to express when communicating with children is your understanding of them, which is conducive to solving problems. Then stick to your point of view, tell them why they hold it, and tell your child what kind of responsibilities they should take.
Don't always be on top
Many parents like to use their elders to put pressure on their children, which can only have the opposite effect. You should learn how to cooperate with your child and how to win-win with your child.
There are many things that parents and children should do together, such as reading books. After you read the book, ask your child to read the book and discuss the contents of the book with the child, which is a kind of participation.
Let the child solve the problem by himself, while avoiding the child from making the same mistake, he should let the child solve the problem by himself, and the advantage of this is that the child will soon understand what the responsibility is, and will not repeat the consequences of the matter.
Verbal violence is sometimes more severe than physical violence, you can't always verbally suppress your child, you have to learn to grow up with your child.
Communication is a problem mentioned by many educators, and it is crucial to communicate with children in an equal position, and not to take the identity of an elder to preach.
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