Every child makes many mistakes from childhood to adulthood, how do we deal with them when they make mistakes?
Many parents adopt a form of punishment that can be effective for them, especially when punishment can temporarily stop a child's problematic behavior. They don't want to pamper children, so they think the only option is punishment. Others use punishment because it is human nature to always tend to take the least resistance approach.
When you face your child's mistakes in the form of punishment, you will find that punishment is not always effective, and your child's wrong behavior is increasing, and the parent-child relationship is not as harmonious as you hope. To discipline effectively requires reason and love, which is what we often say about positive discipline. When your child makes a mistake, we substitute the opportunity for the child to learn from the mistake instead of punishment, and the child will know that his behavior is wrong and know what to do to minimize the harm of the mistake. Although this is not very easy, especially for parents who often punish their children, it is difficult to change, and we need to work harder and consciously to do it.
The following example may be familiar to you, and we can study it again.
Spill the meal while your child eats. Punitive parents will yell, beat their children, or angrily take their meals away. Positive disciplined parents bring their children napkins and pack up spilled meals with their children. Your child will learn to sprinkle things and clean them up on their own.
When your child forgets to do housework. Punitive parents will say to their children, "I still can't remember how many times I said it, and I am not allowed to go out to play in the future", canceling one of the child's privileges, but things are still not done. In fact, you can say to your child, "Baby, it's time to do housework." If your child says, "Do it in a minute," you can kindly and firmly say, "I want you to keep the agreement." Now is the time to do housework. "Your child slowly learns to be punctual.
When your child roughly plays with kittens. Punishing parents will say to their children, "You are so bad, how can you treat small animals like this?", scolding, yelling, and even threatening children like this. In fact, you can take the cat away and say to the child, "When you are ready to play with the cat gently, come back to me." When your child says after a while, "I'm ready, but still treats the cat roughly, you have to take the cat away again and say to the child, "I'll tell you when I decide to let you try again." "That way your child will realize that it's wrong to treat your pet roughly, and realizing that wrong behavior can change it."
The above examples will often be seen in life, and wise parents will use positive discipline methods to calmly deal with problems. They will be calm, friendly, and respectful of the child and themselves, actively helping the child learn how to deal with the problem in a more appropriate way. When you learn to actively guide and educate your child, you will find that your child can learn a lot from mistakes and will be useful for life, and will be better able to face the challenges of the future. Come on, wise parents!
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Author: Zhang Xiaofeng, female, master student, national second-level psychological counselor. Long-term focus on family education research, for the establishment of a good parent-child relationship, to help children through the rebellious adolescence, to solve anxiety, emotional distress, alleviate learning pressure, to achieve their own growth will give you good advice. Life is a star, let us take care of its light together. I will listen attentively and accompany you with love, just so that you can meet a better version of yourself as soon as possible.