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Gone with the Wind: "I've never been that kind of person, I can't patiently pick up a piece of debris, put it together, and say to myself, this patched thing is exactly the same as the new one." Something that breaks is broken, and I'd rather remember what it looked like when it was at its best than fix it and look at those broken places for the rest of my life. ”
This is a very common value, especially when combined with feelings to become a concept of marriage and love, it is more common.
People who don't have this value may think that marriage can go on as long as it's repaired. People who have this kind of value will not easily change their original intentions, they do not believe that the broken mirror can be reunited.
For someone who betrays a marriage, if your significant other is someone with such clear values, you cannot remarry. After the divorce, you had better not provoke her, otherwise you will only humiliate yourself.
The woman below is the kind of person with a "cleanliness habit" above, let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I have a "cleanliness fetish" for marriage, and the people who betray me are the garbage I have to throw away.
I don't sway my principles for any reason, and I don't think there's anything wrong with having a purse for marriage. Having a cleanliness fetish does not mean that I can't rub sand in my eyes, it does not mean that I pursue a perfect marriage, as long as it is not a mistake involving principle, I can tolerate it, and the error involving principle, I will never endure.
If I hadn't expressed this principle to my ex-husband, he could blame me for not saying it earlier. And the truth is, I've expressed my principles more than once before I was with him, but unfortunately he eventually betrayed me.
There was betrayal in the marriage, and for me there was nothing to talk about, only divorce. If I don't follow my own principles, I don't deserve to be human.
Moreover, when I was divorced, I told him clearly: "In the future, whether you are dead or alive, don't bother me anymore, and don't ask me to remarry when you regret it, otherwise don't blame me for being rude to you!" ”
He, a man of no discipline, ignored my words, broke with his "true love", and once again broke into my life, pitifully begging me to remarry.
Since he had to humiliate himself, he was a little too impersonal if I didn't complete it. I publicly rejected him and shook out the "good things" he had done. People say "hit people without punching their faces", I think sometimes you should "hit people in the face", otherwise it is difficult to understand the hatred in your heart.
After he left, my mother-in-law came to me as a lobbyist and asked me: "My son has already learned that he is wrong, why don't you remarry him?" ”
She doesn't respect me, so why should I respect her? But this time, I saved some face for her, just to reason with her: "Just because I have a cleanliness habit and think he is dirty, is this not enough?" Doesn't he know he shouldn't betray his marriage? Why should I remarry someone who knows what is wrong? After remarriage, let me count the sad days of the past every day? Thank you for speaking out! ”
Before she left, she said that sooner or later I would regret it: "If you marry someone else in the future, you will definitely encounter the same problem, you can't always divorce, right?" ”
What a joke! Can't I get married? It's not that I can't live without men. Besides, why did she think that all the men under the heavens were as negative as her son? There are so many good men, as long as I choose carefully, I can definitely choose. You say yes?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Whether to divorce after betrayal in marriage, and whether to remarry after divorce, this kind of problem cannot be generalized, because people are different from people, different people have different values, and different people have different principles and mentalities.
Some people don't care about everything, they can't divorce or not, they can remarry, such people will not have the kind of problems mentioned in the "Drift" mentioned above, because they are not used to thinking deeply about problems, even if the marriage is broken, as long as they can repair it, they can continue to enjoy.
In addition to such people, everyone else will be very concerned about the betrayal in marriage. Especially people with delicate minds, people who are accustomed to thinking deeply about problems, will have the kind of thinking mentioned in "Gone with the Wind": they think that the broken mirror cannot be reunited, they cannot deceive themselves, and they would rather remember what it looked like before the marriage was broken, rather than live in a rifted marriage for the rest of their lives.
If you are such a person and want to defend this principle to the death, then you should be like that woman, be decisive, divorce as soon as possible, and be resolute if you do not remarry.
If you're married to someone like that, you'd better settle down. It is not that they should be afraid of such people, but that if they can be strict with themselves, they can definitely manage many things in life well, and they will never betray, which will make you feel very at ease. You don't know how to cherish, that is, you are in the blessing and do not know the blessing, lose the watermelon and pick up the sesame seeds, and only beg for it.