Friends have shared a real case of a human world, and people who have seen it have clapped their hands and called it "miserable".
Looking at the friends around you, it seems that the first child in the family around me is the daughter's, and many of them have posthumously given birth to the second child. The first child is a boy's, and the number of children who have a second child is much less.
Some mothers speculate that many families are still patriarchal and want boys.
As a result, the mother of a boy at home spoke: "It's not that I don't want to have a second child, I don't dare to have a second child." The mother who gives birth to a girl does not know how difficult it is for a boy to carry, so the ignorant are fearless. Having given birth to a son, his energy and physical strength have been exhausted, and he must be afraid of another boy. ”
According to her, the mother who gave birth to a boy in the first child was not keen on having a second child, not because of the preference for sons over daughters, but because the little boy was too difficult to raise.
This statement is not completely unfounded.
"Don't jump, can you sit me down?"
"Give me some quiet!"
"Can you give me a little pause?"
This is a voice that often occurs in families with sons.
He would pout his ass and build a meat bridge between the couch and the coffee table;
He would open the jelly one by one, turn it over and knock it on the coffee table;
He would block the sewers with duck eggs and pretend to be indifferent;
He would paint the walls like the art history of a slum...
Destructive max, almost a characteristic of boys.
There was no bear, only more bear, the boy bear up, and the mother did not want to recognize him.
Life at home is so hot that it is not much better to go out.
Like going out to a painting class.
The little girl next to her sat upright and painted in a good way, while the boy threw the paintbrush to the ground for a while, and looked at the face to scare others for a moment, and could not stop for a moment.
Studies in the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada and other countries have shown that the brain differences between boys and girls are as high as more than 100.
The most obvious is that the boys have more dopamine in their blood and more blood flowing through their cerebellum.
This can lead to boys being more impulsive and adventurous.
Some people think that the first child gives birth to a girl, and the second child gives birth to a son, so that the daughter can help take care of her brother. Some younger brothers are really afraid of their sisters, because their parents said that they were going to beat people up, which may be frightening, but it is true that the sister lost her temper.
Some people also think that it is very good for a son to have a sister, and can cultivate a sense of responsibility for boys, hone patience, and make boys more careful and considerate. There are also many boys who can bully their sisters, and parents have to stare at them all the time without accidents.
In many people's minds, a pair of sisters is easy to get along with, and a pair of brothers is easy to fight. In fact, living together, bumps and frictions are inevitable, and gender is not the determining factor.
Another question that plagues many parents is, what is the age difference between the first and second children?
Psychologist Rudolf proposed that the child's observation ability is very strong, the ability to explain is very poor, which is particularly prominent in the order of children.
One person had a sister in his family. Once, two children drew on the wall with chalk, and the sister drew a pine tree.
Dad came over and praised his sister for drawing so well.
Hearing this, my sister was overjoyed. When it was my sister's turn to paint, my sister covered the wall and said, "This is my painting, you are not allowed to erase it." ”
The sister was a little angry: "You painted a great ah, painted like this, it is good for people to see." ”
In fact, there is a wonderful psychological state between the two sisters - competition.
Where there is competition, there must be a win or a loss. No matter how fair the parents are, the child will still misinterpret it, and the parent will favor it.
When siblings compete and one child is good in some way, the other child will make the following choices:
1. Abandon this field and excel in other areas
2, become rebellious and win attention
3. Give up competition and be willing to be mediocre
In fact, no matter which one the child chooses, it is their wrong interpretation of the status quo. They feel that only by competing and winning each other can they win the favor of their parents.
So what kind of age difference is the happiest, so that children are not dragged down when they are young, and older ones do not compete for favors?
Obviously, two children like two children one year apart will obviously make parents overwhelmed.
The big one is the one who needs to be accompanied, when he plays around, and the small one is waiting to be fed, how to take care of it? Take care of this, and that child will inevitably be lost.
Some netizens said that his two children were 15 years apart, and the whole family was petted together.
Although this is also very good, the big ones do not need to get the attention of their parents all the time, and even want to leave the family and run to their own lives. The younger ones can accept love from most of the family.
However, the age difference is too large, and you also need to consider your mother's body. Parenting at an advanced age is a risk for both mothers and children.
Moreover, some children are older and do not want to have a younger brother and sister who is so much younger than themselves.
There are children of similar ages who can accompany each other and grow up together, and many resources can be shared.
So what is the age difference between children?
The advice given by experts is that 4 years old or older.
Because when two children are 4 years or older apart, there will be less sense of competition between them.
By the time the boss has been in a position for more than 4 years, he has formed many views on life, self-worth, and how to get a sense of belonging.
Moreover, children over the age of 4 have certain social needs, and the focus will gradually shift from family to friends and social.
He no longer needs to be cared for by his parents like a small baby, but can get the corresponding recognition and sense of value from teachers, friends and other elders.
At this time, parents with two babies, neither drag each other down, the two children will not be so strongly competing for favors.
Of course, these are relatively subjective analysis, each family's parenting model is different, if the elderly can often help, parents can coordinate the pace of growth of two children very well, in fact, how many years can live very happy.