In today's world, men and women are equally important, but in reality, there are also many parents, the first child gave birth to a daughter, the second child wants to have another son, why is this?
The pictures in this article are all derived from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
Want to fight a second-child male treasure, was ridiculed as "son preference"
Bao Ma Xiao Wang encountered a bad thing:
Some time ago, in a social forum, she mentioned that after she gave birth to a daughter, she kept thinking about having another son, plus her mother-in-law often urged this.
So she asked everywhere about the method of "picking up the male treasure", and the result was a "net explosion".
The comments at the bottom scolded her for being a "male treasure mother" on the spot, and there were also those who scolded her mother-in-law for "preferring sons to daughters" and persuaded Xiao Wang to run quickly.
Looking at the bloody rain in the comment area, Xiao Wang suddenly had some heart congestion, did not think that the current network environment is so unbearable, he just wanted to put together a "good" word, he was interpreted too much by netizens, and even innuendo to his married life.
In fact, like Xiao Wang, after having a daughter, there are not a few families who want another boy, why do they have a higher desire for male treasure when they are pregnant with their second child? Let's listen to the answers of those who have come to see it.
A few realistic factors, can you accept it?
1, simply want to put together a "good" word
Chinese since ancient times, it has been believed that "the dragon and phoenix are auspicious" is a great joy, and if there are children and daughters in a family, it is a good thing to be a pair, and the blessing is doubled.
Even in some places, when getting married, they will deliberately select family members with children and daughters to be bridesmaids, in order to please a good head and suck the blessings of their families.
Therefore, the family that gave birth to a daughter in the first child, in order to "make up" a good word, when the second child is born, it is more likely to have another son, which has nothing to do with "son preference".
2. I want to have a different parenting experience
We all know that adopting a daughter and adopting a son are two very different experiences.
Most of the daughters are well-behaved and sensible, delicate in thought, and sometimes sensitive and fragile, so they need to "walk the heart" to raise, and usually pay more attention to their psychological changes and emotional problems;
Boys are relatively outgoing, with thick lines, but sometimes they will be naughty and naughty, and when raising, they should pay attention to "Enwei and use", "soft and rigid".
These two different experiences may be more novel for parents, if the first child gives birth to a daughter, in the first half of their growth (before puberty), in fact, it is relatively easy to take care of, do not require parents to spend too much thought.
This also leads to parents will be relatively idle, some people may feel that the sense of experience is not enough, so they will have another baby boy, so the family is lively.
3, want someone to retire
This should be the most realistic factor at present.
In China's traditional thinking, most of them are sons to bear the burden of parents' pension, although now the status of women is improved, there are also some of them to undertake the task of pension.
However, because it involves women's future marriage, many times they want to give their parents a pension, but they have a weak heart, especially some distantly married women, which often involves many practical factors, resulting in it is difficult for them to support their parents wholeheartedly.
It can also make parents worry about whether their future later life will be guaranteed if there is only one daughter in the family. Although there are also pension paths such as nursing homes and welfare homes today, in the hearts of some people, they still want to live with their families and have children by their side.
To this end, after the first child gave birth to a daughter, they wanted to have a second child and a son to plan for their later life.
Note: There is a pitfall to be careful about difference education between sons and daughters
When we envy other people's families with children and daughters, we must also pay attention to the problem of such family education.
Here I think that when I watched "Where Daddy Goes" before, there was an unusually heart-wrenching passage -
The village chief chatted with the children alone, and placed the things that the father and the children liked on the table, so that the children could choose one of the two. During the chat, the child will be asked a few questions.
I still remember that When Tian Liang's son Xiao Liangzai was chatting with the village chief, he mentioned that he felt that his father loved his sister Sen Di more, did not like himself, and even cried. Tian Liang, who was sitting in the monitoring room and watching this section, was also a little shocked, and did not expect that his son would think so.
In his opinion, because his sister is a girl, he usually prefers his sister and is more strict with his son, but as a result, he hurts the child's sensitive heart.
In this parent-child variety show, there have been many similar things, such as Nuoyi also thinks that his father prefers his sister, and Kang Kang also thinks that his father likes his sister.
Many times, the differential education of boys and girls in two-child families often inadvertently stabs the fragile hearts of children, so we need to pay attention to the little men in the family, they may also have time to lick their wounds alone.
How to properly educate?
1. Before the age of three: Both sons and daughters must be cared for
Especially before the age of three, don't think too much about boys and girls, try to differentiate education, in fact, at this stage, they are in need of "indiscriminate love" period.
Because of the attachment effect, their dependence and need for their parents is the strongest time in their lives, so whether it is a son or a daughter, please give them enough love before they are three years old.
This experience of being loved may be able to heal children's lives and make them stable and happy.
2, after the age of three: pampered, pay attention to establish good rules
When the child is three years old, it is the time to make the rules —
So in this period, parents should not blindly spoil them and let them understand that the world needs to follow the rules. Moreover, at this time, it is also possible to slowly carry out differentiated education.
For example, girls can develop their ability to be independent and teach them to protect their privacy;
Boys can develop their sense of adventure and teach them qualities such as bravery and self-motivation.