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Why do we have children?
If you ask our parents, the answer will be very consistent: raise children to prevent aging, raise a few more children, and enter the old age, so that they will not go into a desperate road.
If you ask today's young people, the answer will be diverse, raising children and preventing the elderly may be the traditional idea of some people, and there are many young people who really want nothing to raise children, just want to pay well and be responsible.
When it comes to having children, it involves the question of having a boy or a girl.
But even if the concept is as open as it is now, there are still some areas with backward concepts, even if they do not expect their sons to retire, they must have at least one son. In some people's minds, a son is necessary, to be born at all costs.
The 35-year-old mother gave birth to 6 babies and is still preparing for her seventh child
I saw a 35-year-old mother on the Internet, married for 13 years, has given birth to 6 babies, the first five are daughters, and the last one is a little boy.
The mother said she was only responsible for having children and her husband was responsible for earning money to support the family.
From her tone and the background of the photos posted, it can be seen that the family is not short of money, and raising a few children is not a problem at all.
Since there are conditions, having children is the right of the individual, and it is possible to have children and raise them, and it has nothing to do with others.
However, when looking at the region where she is located, netizens are a little uneasy, because this mother is a Chaoshan person, so many netizens have asked: Do you really like the child and want to be born all the time, or do you think that having a son is not enough, how many sons to have?
Most areas that prefer sons to daughters are economically backward areas, but Chaoshan is different, the living standards in Chaoshan are very high, and there are many rich people in the local area, but the local idea of preferring sons to daughters is very serious.
Raising a son is no longer for the sake of "old age", but for the sake of inheriting the family business.
What is the fundamental difference between adopting a son and adopting a daughter?
The ways and methods and efforts of raising sons and daughters are certainly different, but what we are talking about today is not this problem, but the difference between sons and daughters in people's minds.
In people's traditional conception, there are several differences between sons and daughters:
1. The son is his own family, and the daughter is someone else's family after all
In people's traditional conception, the son is the person of his own family, and the daughter is the person of someone else's family.
After the son is raised, the parents prepare the house and car for the son, although it is very tired and hard, the pressure is very high, but the parents are still happy, because the son marries the daughter-in-law to enter the door represents adding people to the family, and the daughter-in-law enters the door and becomes pregnant and gives birth to the child, which continues the incense for the family.
When the daughter grows up, she will marry into someone else's house and become the master of someone else's house, so the old concept is that the daughter is raised for others.
2. Surname issue
Chinese pay the most attention to surnames, which can represent many problems.
As long as the child born to a woman follows the father's surname, the problem of son preference is not easy to completely eliminate, in the hearts of many people, the surname is the most critical, only the daughter's family, no successor, so even if there is no "son preference" thinking, some people in order to continue the family, or to have a son.
The issue of surnames involves many problems, such as the issue of the bride price, the child's right to be crowned with the surname, in fact, it will also directly affect the bride price.
It is reported that in many rural areas, daughters do not have the right to inherit their parents' houses, childless and childless old people, after a hundred years the house belongs to nephews, because the daughter's hukou has moved out of the village, not belonging to the people of the village.
A lot of rules are changing, and the only criterion for having a baby is "condition"
In fact, those families who are obsessed with having sons do not necessarily end well in the end.
One of the closest relatives of our family is obsessed with having a son, the first three are daughters, who were still in family planning, and finally could not give birth to a son, and adopted a son through formal channels, and the age difference between the eldest and the younger son is more than 20 years.
The three girls grew up and got married, had a family, and all had a good life, except for the son who let them fuck their hearts, and the three girls all helped their younger brothers, who still failed to live a good life.
The two old men are in their 60s, the man has a heart problem, the woman is angry with his son, and the rapid fire attacks the heart without coming up.
Before leaving, one of the things they regret the most is that they have a son for a while, otherwise they can enjoy their old age in peace and do not have to worry about their son's livelihood.
There are many such examples, and it is precisely because there are many such examples that more and more people have woken up to the fact that in this open era, whether boys or girls are the hearts of parents, education is the most critical.
The only criterion for having a child should be the realistic conditions, the conditions are good, and you like children, you can raise one or two more, the conditions are not good, don't be obsessed on the road of having children.
The conditions are not good, the more children, the worse the family life, the worse the education of the children, and the worse the parents are in their later years.
Having children is not the end, raising children is the key
The idea of "wanting to change the fate of the family through the child" can be directly snuffed out, the child will not change the fate of the family, the family can change the fate of the child.
If parents do not provide children with good educational resources and growth environment, where will the children's opportunities come from?
The key to raising a good child is to have the conditions to raise a child first, the economic conditions are poor, but they still keep having children, in this era, children really have no chance.
Therefore, the only criterion for having children is that family conditions and family economic conditions can support several children, just raise a few children, and the parents' thinking should go along, do not expect the children to change their fate, and should try to guide the fate of the children through the parents.