In the traditional Chinese concept, the boy is the pillar of the family after the establishment of the family, to support the whole family, such a heavy responsibility also makes many parents cultivate boys extra seriously, to cultivate a responsible, responsible, capable son, so that he can support his small family in the future.
But not all parents can cultivate such a son, some parents will raise their son, in fact, it is very simple to raise a son, after all, in the words and deeds of parents, hidden in the future of the child.
As long as the parents keep saying these few words, they may raise a boy
First, you can't do anything well
"Happy people use childhood to heal a lifetime, and unfortunate people use a lifetime to heal childhood."
Many parents like to take a percussive education for their children, what is percussive education? That is, parents will never affirm the child, if the child gets ninety points, the parents will say why don't you get a hundred points, the child does a little wrong thing, the parents will say, how do you do not do well, many parents feel that the percussion education is to make the child become modest, in fact, it is not like this, the percussion education will only make the child live very tired, a person who has not been affirmed by the parents will not be happy.
Director Jiang Wen once said that one of his most failed things in so many years is that he does not get along well with his mother, in order to get his mother's approval, he has been pleasing to his mother since he was a child, but his mother has not affirmed him, even if he was admitted to the Chinese opera, he has not been affirmed by his mother, and his mother even clearly said that she did not like to watch him act.
Jiang Wen said: Like me, a child who was hit by his mother, when he grows up, is not stronger, but harder.
We may feel that a director like Jiang Wen, bright and beautiful, is actually not so, his heart is actually inferior, he is not confident, because he has never been affirmed by his mother.
The mother definitely loves him, but the way the mother loves him is wrong, setback education is not blindly denying the child, but with love to accompany the child through setbacks again and again, the mother's excessive blow will only make the child become very inferior.
Boys are not allowed to do housework
There is a view in psychology: "Children will be naturally loyal to their parents", that is, children will unconditionally accept their parents' love for themselves and listen to their parents, many mothers and sons are formed in this way, and mothers and sons are the result of the symbiosis of mothers and sons.
Many mothers have the most traditional concept that boys cannot do housework, just need to learn well, and housework will be done by women in the family in the future, blindly worshiping boys, which makes them unconditionally spoil their sons and take care of their sons in every detail, resulting in sons not doing anything, except for grades.
After ma bao male marriage, the mother will also take care of the son unconditionally, and even some mothers will provoke the relationship between the son and daughter-in-law, thinking that the daughter-in-law has robbed her son, and the mother bao man is also obedient to the mother's words, following the mother's heart.
Xiaoshan has a female netizen once posted to her mother-in-law, her husband is a mother treasure man, the mother-in-law has been taking care of her son, so that he will never grow up, so deformed family contradictions, and finally the son and daughter-in-law's feelings broke down, a good family is scattered.
Mothers can not spoil their children excessively, excessive spoiling leads to children will not do anything, mothers can not accompany children for a lifetime, to let go to give children their own space.
Third, boys must have good grades
Many parents feel that boys must have good grades, put a lot of pressure on the child, parents do this is actually not right, the right pressure will become the driving force for growth, inappropriate pressure will only crush a child, when the child's grades are not good, parents should comfort the child instead of blindly putting pressure on the child, the child under the pressure may have psychological problems, there may also be a situation of boredom.
Parents can affect the child's personality with a few simple words, from a psychological point of view: a person's personality will affect his fate, the gap between the winner and the loser is the winner is the master of the character, no matter when, the successful person can face their own life in the best way, the loser is controlled by emotions, they encounter difficulties after discouragement, depression, impulsiveness, poor emotional control, which is why failure.
Parents must help their children cultivate a good character, only in this way can the child become the master of the character and maintain the best mentality.
Personality can affect a person's life, parents must pay attention to the child's personality problems, for the child to cultivate a good character is even more important than the child's achievements.