Some people say that when a woman is confinement, she can best see the attitude of her in-laws and know whether she is married well or not.
Xiao Peng from Kaifeng, Henan Province, encountered a very distressing thing, the wife went back to her mother's house to sit on the confinement, according to the local customs, women give birth to children are in the in-laws' house to sit in the confinement, the wife to do so makes him feel very unhappy.
XiaoPeng said that ten days ago, his wife who was about to be born returned to her mother's house with a big belly, and now that her daughter has been born for four days, he can't taste the joy of becoming a new father. Since the birth of the child, his wife has not even made a phone call, and he has not said why he did not come back, he has gone to his mother-in-law's house three times to try to take his wife home, but they have been ruthlessly rejected.
With doubts in mind, the mediator followed Xiaopeng to his mother-in-law's house.
We met Yang Yang, the wife of the confinement, Yang Yang is in a good state, although it has only been four days since giving birth, but she can walk freely on the ground, she said that she is willing to talk about those bad things with her in-laws.
At this time, Yangyang's mother pulled the mediator aside to pour bitter water, the daughter gave birth to a child hospitalized, taking care of the daughter and the child should have been a family affair, but until the third day of the birth of the child, the family did not appear, after the hospital not only did not help, but also complained, the attitude of the family made her feel cold, which gambled not to let the daughter return to the in-laws.
Why does the in-laws appear three days after the birth of the child? What did the two families resent?
Xiaopeng said that on the day of the due date, he called his wife and said that he wanted to take her home, but Yangyang refused, and the next day he went to his mother-in-law's house, there was no one at home, and the phone called his wife but turned off. Xiao Peng complained that since the birth of the child, his father-in-law and mother-in-law have not even made a phone call, and they have stopped him from taking his wife home.
He went to the hospital to pay his wife's discharge fee, but was stopped by his mother-in-law and said she had paid it. Mentioning this matter, Yangyang mother was angry, that day the mother of the family did not have a good word after going to the hospital, as soon as she came up, she complained that she did not say anything earlier, she let the mother of the family settle the hospitalization fee, but the mother of the family was still complaining non-stop, and finally, the mother of Yangyang paid her daughter's hospitalization fee out of her own pocket.
Why did Yang Yang stay at his mother's house and not want to go back with her husband? Yang Yang said that before giving birth, her husband did come to look for her, but every time he came, he had a cold attitude, walked to the door of the house, one foot in the door and one foot outside the door, even the house did not enter, just a "let's go", not even a word.
In Yang Yang's view, her husband did not realize his mistake and did not sincerely apologize to her, but it was like completing the task, so she refused to go back.
So, before giving birth to a child, what exactly happened to the little two?
Yang Yang said about one thing, that day she picked a few peaches, a total of 20 yuan, but her husband said that he had no money, and complained that she spent money indiscriminately. In Yang Yang's view, her husband just doesn't care about her, and he doesn't have no money, he smokes every day, and he is willing to spend money every time he buys seven or eight boxes of cigarettes.
Xiao Peng did too much, and the peaches of 20 yuan were reluctant to buy for their daughter-in-law, which was chilled by any woman.
The peaches were not eaten, and they were counted down by her husband, and Yangyang nestled a belly fire, at that time she wanted to go back to her mother's house, but when she thought of the child who was about to be born, she persuaded herself to endure it, but she did not expect that her mother-in-law's words made her completely chill.
Because of this matter, she and her husband mixed their mouths, talking about returning to her mother's house, the mother-in-law heard that she was angry, and she didn't know what to do, good food and drink, and waited, and she still wanted to go back to her mother's house, Yang Yang qi head back to the mother-in-law, I am not thin, buy you clothes, who knows the mother-in-law actually said, "I bought what you bought, did I wear it?" ”
This sentence completely chilled Yang Yang's heart, why don't you wear it and rely on me? The mother-in-law could not see her efforts and said hurtful words, and a piece of sincerity hit the water.
Yang Yang returned to his mother's house in a huff, and his parents were distressed about their daughter-in-law, and they were even more angry with the attitude of their mother-in-law's family, so they let their daughter sit in confinement at her mother's house.
After the birth of the daughter, the performance of the in-laws disappointed Yangyang again and again, not only that, in life, the husband always calculated on money, so that she could not see the hope of living together.
Xiao Peng also said his inner grievances, married his family gave 160,000 dowry, although the wife brought over after marriage, but this money has been kept by the wife, usually the family income he also handed over to the wife, the last six months he did not earn money, the hand is tighter, the wife not only does not help, but the money is more tight, he is more real gambling with his wife in money.
There is also a thing that makes Xiaopeng dissatisfied, the wife hides from him, takes the gift money received from the banquet and returns 5,000 yuan to his sister, the wife does not trust him, does not regard the husband and wife as one.
Yang Yang admitted her own inadequacies, and what made her grumble was that every time the two quarreled, the husband did not try to find a way to solve it, but turned his face and told the mother-in-law, so that the mother-in-law was mixed into the dispute between the two mouths, which intensified the contradiction between husband and wife.
Under the guidance of the mediator, Xiaopeng realized his shortcomings, and he sincerely apologized to Yangyang and gently advised his wife to follow him home. Unexpectedly, Yangyang refused, she said that she had lost confidence in her husband, and Yangyang's mother did not want her daughter to return to her in-laws.
The mediator did the work of the elderly on both sides, Xiaopeng and his parents spoke softly, apologized to Yangyang's mother, and Yangyang's mother said that she could not go back, but depended on her daughter's thoughts.
The mother-in-law said that during this time, it was very hard for the family to take care of the daughter-in-law, and it cost a lot of money, and she would double the compensation.
Yang Yang's attitude eased a lot, promised to go back, but now does not want to go back, watching his wife insist repeatedly, Xiao Peng made a touching decision at this time, he said, there is a wife in the place is called home, from today on, he will accompany his wife to sit in the confinement of his mother-in-law's house, take good care of her and children, and strive to fulfill the responsibility of being a husband and father.
Write at the end:
Seemingly inconspicuous little things, accumulated together have become a big contradiction between husband and wife. The crux of the problem of Xiaopeng and Yangyang is that the emotional foundation is not solid, the two people know each other for a few months and then rush to get married and have children, the weak emotional foundation is bound to cause frequent problems after marriage, and the fragile marriage cannot withstand the wind and grass.
Disappointment in marriage is stacked on top of many things and finally explodes. Yangyang is not because the 20 yuan peach does not return to the in-laws' home, this is just the flashpoint of her emotions, the husband and mother-in-law's actions make her insecure, she does not feel the warmth in the in-laws' home, coupled with the mother's family's protection of her, complaining about the in-laws' bad family, making her more disgusted with the in-laws' family, taking the mother-in-law's family as her home.
Fortunately, husbands and mothers-in-law can realize their mistakes, especially when the husband takes the initiative to make changes, give his wife warmth, and get closer to his wife a little.
Marriage is not a simple union of two people, but two families. As a parent, you must have a sense of boundaries, do not participate too much in the marriage of your children, as a husband and wife, you must communicate more and be more considerate, and jointly maintain a home.