Emotions are a testament to being born unique, everyone has different emotions, but everyone's story is the same, hello! Hello, I am Lele, pay attention to my words, into your heart!
01
When we talk about marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is this
Happiness, sweetness, homecoming
Of course, some people will think of it
Responsibility, bondage, blandness
。
But no matter how it feels, most people are still willing to step into marriage and spend their lives with the people they like.
But marriage is not as easy as imagined, not to mention the various problems after marriage, just before marriage, there are a lot of problems, such as where to live, bride price, marriage room, dowry, and so on, etc.
But if there is one thing that both parties are not satisfied with, this marriage is not so easy to marry.
If the two sides have only one child, it is fine, at most six people agreeing, but if the two sides still have brothers and sisters, the situation is much more complicated.
in a word
Marriage is not a matter of two people, if you do not deal with the problems before marriage, even if you are married, your life will be awkward.
Xiao You encountered such a trouble.
02
Xiao You and her boyfriend are blind dates, feel that each other's conditions are OK, talk about love for a period of time, and plan to enter the palace of marriage.
The two families live not too far, and they also interact with each other for a long time, talking about getting married, and the two families are also busy with Zhang Luo. It's just that this Luo Luo returned to Zhang Luo, the custom of marriage can not be forgotten, and the dowry house and everything must be put on the open side to talk about.
At first, the man's family said to buy a house in full, the woman's family bought a car, decorated one person and half, and the bride price was given to 100,000, and the woman's family was naturally willing.
But when it was time to buy a house, it was found that the price of a good house in the location exceeded the budget of the man's family, the location was remote, the couple was inconvenient to work, and the education of the children in the future was also a problem.
So the man's family discussed again, or not to make a down payment, the little couple will pay it back later. Woman
felt
It's too hard to live with a loan, and they don't want their daughter to be too stressed in the future
big
Finally, it was decided by consultation,
Buy a house two people and a half, decoration and car are out of the man's side, the bride price will also give twenty thousand yuan meaning.
I thought that there was no problem in this way, everyone happily engaged, waiting for the house to be decorated, and the wedding was held on the day, but What Xiao You did not expect was that
His own newly renovated house, the sister-in-law moved in first
Things have to start with the little sister-in-law's graduation home. When you were in love, Xiao You knew that her boyfriend had a sister, who rarely came back from studying in other places, talked about love for more than a year, and met once when she was engaged, and she felt it at the time
The little girl was a bit squeamish
, and didn't think too much about it.
After the sister-in-law came back, she did not go, saying that she had graduated and wanted to find a job in her hometown, which had nothing to do with Xiao You, and she did not think that she would move to her own marriage room, and Xiao You was completely unacceptable.
That day, Xiao You and her boyfriend went to see the new house, and as soon as they pushed the door, they saw their sister-in-law watching TV on the sofa, and they just said hello. Don't say Xiao You, even the boyfriend is ignorant, but think about it, the key to the home is only Xiao You, the boyfriend, and the future mother-in-law, and the boyfriend immediately dialed the mother's phone.
Xiao You originally thought that the sister-in-law just came to live for a while, and when they finished the wedding, she would move out, even so she was already very reluctant, after all, her new house, before she lived, she was first occupied by others, and her heart was somewhat uncomfortable.
But the words of the future mother-in-law made Xiao You completely collapse:
"You are such a big house, two people live very lonely, my sister has no place to live, so I live with you.
When will she get married
Moved away.
”
That night, Xiao You came home and cried with her parents, feeling that she had suffered a lot of grievances, so the family began to discuss how to let the sister-in-law move out.
Xiao You first chatted with her sister-in-law, saying that her newly married house, it was not appropriate for her to live here, and the sister-in-law said a word
“
My mom let me live here!
"Directly to Xiao Yu back."
Xiao You went to her boyfriend again to discuss, saying that she could not accept her sister-in-law living in her new house, the boyfriend was hesitant a few days ago, who knew that now he also changed his mouth, thinking that his sister had no place to live, and he could not drive her out. The friend's attitude was obviously discussed with the family.
Xiao Youqi did not call a place, did not go to find the future mother-in-law, the mother-in-law herself found the door, into the door to Xiao You is a reprimand, said that she is quite a big person, how there is no sympathy, the sister-in-law is also half a sister, how can not live together. Xiao You is also angry,
Directly called my brother and drove the wedding car away
The man's family did not expect that Xiao You would drive the car away, and the whole family came to Xiao You's mother's house on the same day to ask for an explanation.
In the quarrel, the two sides also have their own opinions, the woman feels that the man should not give the marriage room to the daughter, and the man feels that the woman should not drive away privately.
The house was bought by my mother, why can't I live in it?
The sister-in-law interjected from time to time.
"The car is still my sister's, why can't I drive away?" Xiao You's younger brother is not to be outdone. "Buy a car and your family did not pay for it" "Buy a house my family paid for it, why do you go to live?" "The more you argue with me, the more intense it is, and finally you simply cancel the marriage contract."
Xiao You's wedding farce, saying that small is the result of one party being strong and the other party unwilling to obey, saying that it is big, or in intimate relationships,
The question of "degrees".
03
First: between relatives, don't treat yourself too much as an outsider.
One of the most common phrases we hear in family relationships is:
They are all family, don't treat yourself as an outsider, do whatever you want.
"Although we have read it since childhood, we all know that this is just a sentence
Polite words
If your relatives really treat your home as their own, can you really feel better in your heart?
In the above article, Xiao You has not yet passed the door, the mother-in-law gave her marriage room to the sister-in-law to live, and also morally kidnapped, not to live is not good for the sister, regardless of the feelings between relatives.
Maybe some people will really choose to compromise for this reason, but most people will treat others like Xiao You, so if you want to maintain family harmony, you still have to master getting along
Degrees.
As the old saying goes,
The brothers also have to settle the account
Moreover, in marriage, two unrelated families are originally combined, and the feelings are not so stable, and we should pay more attention to not making a fuss in daily life.
Many old people think that when their son is married, his son's home is his home, and even how things in the family are placed, he must listen to her, and he does not estimate the feelings of his daughter-in-law at all. It is very good to live an unrestrained life in the son's home, but if you go up to the next level, it will be a little too much, just like a hostess, which is bound to affect the son's marriage.
There are also some brothers and sisters, the brother is married and does not take himself as an outsider, there is nothing to come to the brother's house to live for a few days, borrow some money, there should be few sisters-in-law will like such a little uncle, for a long time, how can there be no contradictions?
Therefore, do not easily participate in the lives of others, you should always put yourself in the right position.
Second: Women in the in-laws' home, must keep their own bottom line.
With the development of the times, today's girls can also hold up a piece of the sky, no longer like before can only wash and cook at home to take care of children, modern women can not only take care of the family, but also have a place in their own field of expertise.
But no matter how powerful women are, they can't escape the law of marriage, except for a few singles, most girls will still choose to get married and have children at the right age.
Many girls, invincible in the workplace, are in the family
often
A big part of the reason for the dissatisfaction is them
There is no good positioning for yourself in the family, no bottom line of your own.
Some girls have a natural attachment to the family, if they are obedient to their in-laws for fear of losing this attachment, and never refuse, they will definitely be burdened by it, and eventually lead to the dissolution of the marriage.
There are also some girls who are weak in their personalities, resulting in the fact that they are always bullied in the family, and the strong in-laws and the husband who does not take care of things can always bring her a lot of pressure.
In marriage
If
If we cannot understand each other, there is always a strong side, and the other side is weak but does not resist, which is bound to be treated unfairly.
So
In marriage, we must have our own bottom line, we can be tolerant of others, but we cannot be weak and incompetent; we can respect each other, but we cannot obey orders; we must be independent and take care of the family, and we can be kind and sharp
in order to create a better life.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~