Emotions are a testament to being born unique, everyone has different emotions, but everyone's story is the same, hello! Hello, I am Lele, pay attention to my words, into your heart!
01
There is a classic line in the hit drama "Two Conjectures of Marriage":
“
There is one
man
People have no feelings for women, only routines.
”
In life, most men and women often think differently when choosing marriage.
Women tend to pay more attention to love. As long as it feels right, even if you go up the knife mountain and go down to the sea of fire, she is willing to accompany you to go through it.
Men are different, and love is not the whole reason why they marry a woman. They often choose the marriage that suits them best according to their current needs.
For example, when a man desperately needs to change his fate by relying on marriage, he will choose a woman from a well-off family as his wife.
For example, when a man needs a woman to help him with the housework, he will choose a woman who is willing to give everything for the family to marry.
Of course, they won't put it
"Ambition" is written on the face.
Instead, pretend to be a look of true love and take the woman first
"Cheating" into marriage. After the purpose is achieved, go back and look for the original love.
But how long can such a marriage last?
Lan Qi (pseudonym) is a husband
A woman who "cheats" into marriage. When he learned of her husband's ulterior motives, she decisively chose to end the marriage.
02
Lan Qi and her husband Zhao Yu were married for five years.
In fact, before marrying Lan Qi, Zhao Yu had a girlfriend who had been dating for many years. The other party is a pampered big lady, suitable for the wind and snow moon, and knows nothing about chai rice oil and salt.
If you marry the other party, with the strength of her mother's family, it is not unaffordable to ask a housekeeper to take care of the housework.
However, Zhao Yu is worried that in the marriage of strong women and weak men, he will be subject to the other party's mother's family in the future, and there will be no prestige in the marriage. So later, I chose Lan Qi, who had similar conditions to herself, to marry.
Lan Qi comes from an ordinary worker family, does not have the squeamishness of a city girl, not only works vigorously, but also does housework is also a good hand. The key is that she is still a girl with a heavy sense of love and righteousness, and her family concept is very heavy. This is undoubtedly the most suitable candidate for Zhao Yu, who is eager to find someone to take care of his paralyzed old mother in bed.
In order to successfully catch up with Lan Qi, Zhao Yu could be said to have worked hard.
Lan Qi, like all girls who have no IQ when they fall in love, is quickly blinded by Zhao Yu's gentleness and thoughtfulness. Not long after marriage, he resigned his job under the persuasion of Zhao Yu and devoted himself to taking care of his mother-in-law who was paralyzed in bed at home.
Regarding her resignation as a housewife, her parents were very opposed.
They felt that it was hard work for Lan Qi to finish college, but it was not for her to go around the house around chai rice oil and salt. And no income means no right to speak, where will there be dignity in the in-laws in the future?
Kranki just wouldn't listen.
She believes that marriage is a woman's lifelong career. No matter how good the work is, when the family encounters difficulties, there must always be a person who makes a sacrifice. And she firmly believes that her vision will not be wrong, and Zhao Yu will not fail her.
However, the reality is that her husband did not have particularly deep feelings for her.
When the novelty at the beginning of marriage passed, plus Lan Qi had no job and income, people trapped in family trivialities all day became less agile than before, and her husband gradually had no feelings for her, except for weekdays
"What to eat" and "casually", there is no longer too much intersection.
Lan Qi didn't notice anything unusual at all, thinking that the old husbands and wives under the sky were like this, and it was impossible to be vigorous all their lives.
She still dutifully waited for the family to eat and drink lasa every day, until she overheard the conversation between her husband and her eldest sister not long ago, and realized that she was a complete fool.
That day, the eldest sister came back to visit her mother-in-law. After dinner, the sisters and brothers took advantage of the gap when Lan Qi went downstairs to throw garbage and whispered in their mother-in-law's house.
When she returned, the sisters and brothers probably didn't hear her movements and were still talking about their topics.
Lan Qi was about to knock on the door and call them out to eat fruit, but she heard the eldest sister whispering to her husband what her plans were for the future. Is it to stay with Lan Qi like this, or is there another arrangement?
Lan Qi felt a little confused, what did her husband hide from him?
Although she knew that eavesdropping was wrong, she still did not hold back her curiosity and secretly hid outside the door to hear what her husband said.
However, her husband's words were like thunderbolts on a sunny day, making Lan Qi unable to calm down for a long time.
It turned out that the husband had been having extramarital feelings for three years, or the original one
"Big Miss". After a failed marriage, the other party found a husband. Her husband also remembered her, and in the second year of his marriage with Lan Qi, the two rekindled their old love and came together.
The reason why he has not had a showdown with Lan Qi is that he is worried that his mother-in-law will not be taken care of after the divorce, so he has insisted until now. He also lowered his voice and said to his eldest sister:
When mom is gone, she divorces
。
Hearing this, Lan Qi could no longer control herself, pushed open the door and slapped her husband on the spot, and then filed for divorce.
The husband saw that the matter was revealed, and brazenly explained for a long time, but Lan Qi no longer believed him and was determined to divorce him.
A month later, Lan Qi was successfully released from this marriage. Then she returned to the workplace and found her former shining self.
03
In life, there are many women like Lan Qi who give up their jobs for their families and take care of their families wholeheartedly, but in the end they are betrayed by their husbands.
And her story also tells us the following two marriage principles.
One: Starting a family is equally important to women.
Just as in the TV series "In Our Marriage", the heroine Shen Huixing said the line when she reprimanded her husband:
"If there is one person among the two of us who has to give more for the family, then this person must be me." If there is only one chance of success among the two of us, then this opportunity must be your Shengjiang Chuan. ”
In marriage, a woman always seems to be the one who is sacrificed. As long as the family has needs, women have to give up their jobs and give up everything to complete the family.
What's even more frightening is that this has already been done
022
Over the years, many women themselves have this kind of thinking. When there is a conflict between career and family, do not hesitate to give up your career and choose to return to your family.
However, starting a family is not only a man's mission, it is equally important to women. Family and career are also indispensable for women.
Because of the warmth and emotion in marriage, money cannot give you. And money can give you a sense of security, which no one can replace.
Feelings change rapidly.
The only thing we can do for ourselves is to love others wholeheartedly while still retaining for ourselves the ability to cope with uncertainty.
Second: In the face of principled betrayal, do not choose to forgive.
Some people say that marriage is difficult
，
It's because
Before marriage, he fell in love with his strengths, but after marriage, he spent most of his time living with his shortcomings.
It's normal for two people to live a life and bump into each other.
If you say that a small thing is to fight about who wins and who wins, the face is red, obviously this day can not be lived at all.
Marriage sometimes needs to be confused, can turn a blind eye to the past things, do not stick to it.
But in the face of principled betrayal, we must not easily forgive. Otherwise, ten lungs would not be enough to explode.
Take the fact that a man has an affair outside of marriage, no matter what purpose you forgive him for, he may pause for a while and temporarily restrain his behavior.
But as the old saying goes
"Derailment only
times and countless times", and over time, your forgiveness will become in his eyes that you "dare not divorce".
So one has two, two has three, like an addict who can't quit drug addiction, always nostalgic for the world outside of marriage, and after each forgiveness, he takes a sip to ease him
"Drug addiction".
Instead of being let down again and again, it is better to refuse to forgive from the beginning.
I once heard a passage like this:
Men this species is used to attract,
whereas
Not for love, never love a man, it will be unfortunate. Men don't care if you love him or not, only whether you're attractive enough to him. He wants a desire to conquer, not your giving.
Many women often think that loving a man means giving everything for him. So he was willing to be a cow and a horse in marriage, and toiled and complained.
As a result, in the end, only you are touched.
Men will not cherish your efforts at all, but feel that you are a derailed, ignorant, and boring yellow-faced woman with society. When you have no use value, they will not hesitate to kick you away.
Remember, at any time, loving yourself should be the most important lesson in life.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~