Text: Xi Xihuan
Figure: Originating from the network If there is an infringement contact deleted
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For many men, the ideal girlfriend should be gentle and considerate, know how to think about him, know how to protect his self-esteem, and know not to embarrass him.
But in reality, more women are often very "doing" when they fall into a love, which becomes an unreasonable performance in the eyes of men, and feels that women do not love themselves.
In fact, men think like this to misunderstand the emotions that women really want to express, if a woman is too sensible, almost never herself emotionally demanding of you, then there is a high probability that you have not really entered her heart, and even she has no real feelings for you.
What women do to men is often hidden behind women's concern for him, because they care in their hearts, so they will have more sense of security and presence that they want, and want to constantly confirm their importance and status in men's hearts.
At this time, if a man blindly accuses or dislikes, it will only make the woman more and more uncertain about the man's love for herself, and finally when she becomes sensible, indifference also becomes her attitude towards you, because her love for you disappears.
Therefore, the more a woman likes to "do", in fact, it proves that the more she loves you, men must understand.
01 "Do" you because she wants your attention
What does it feel like to truly fall in love with someone? For women, the innate emotional delicacy makes them more sensitive in their emotions.
And after really moving her heart to a man, she is often more eager to get the attention of men, hoping to be affirmed and recognized by men.
However, if the man has not dispelled her concerns, women will begin to "do", perhaps men will feel that women's actions are somewhat unreasonable, but in fact, men should reflect on their own behavior and attitude towards women.
Friend Wang Lin fell in love, just told everyone the news, friends can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, since breaking up with her first love, she has not come out of the shadow of the past, and now she can really open her heart to love someone, friends are happy for her.
After a month of falling in love, Wang Lin began to become depressed, and several times when she was dating, she suddenly lost her temper, and then turned away, confusing her boyfriend.
In our opinion, the man Wang Lin fell in love with this time is actually very good, the only deficiency is that he is a bit of a "straight man", and he does not understand women's minds so much when getting along with Wang Lin, which makes Wang Lin, who is already somewhat sensitive, feel a little unsure whether men really love her.
So Wang Lin will deliberately wear the clothes he likes in front of men, he likes girls with long hair, she will grow short hair again, he likes to eat spicy, she secretly prepared stomach medicine to accompany him.
However, the man's carelessness made him not perceive these things that Wang Lin secretly did deliberately, only thinking that she was wearing new clothes and changing her hairstyle, thinking that she also happened to like to eat spicy.
A woman's mind is so difficult to guess, when she takes the initiative to do something but does not tell you, I hope that you can take the initiative to find her efforts, but unfortunately men do not think of this.
So Wang Lin felt aggrieved and angry, but she was unwilling to tell men this directly, and finally began to be him when she was dating for two months, either suddenly angry or picking men's faults.
More times, the man also felt that something was wrong, but he loved Wang Lin very much and did not want to lose her like this, so he found Wang Lin's best friend "to ask for the scriptures".
Finally, the man changed his attitude towards Wang Lin, he was more tolerant and understanding of what she had done, and also appreciated and affirmed the changes that had taken place in her, and gradually, Wang Lin no longer did it, and the feelings of the two people became more and more stable.
In fact, it is not difficult to think that if men do not calm down to think about what Wang Lin really wants behind these performances, perhaps he will be like many men, thinking that his girlfriend does not understand things, can't stand the "work" of women, and finally leaves.
Women will not "do" without reason, behind her "ignorance", there must be hidden her concern for this man, hidden her real need for this relationship, so men must understand.
02 "Do" you because you don't have enough security
Women want a sense of security in their feelings, which I believe many people know, but how to give women a sense of security, how much to give, has become the most headache for many men.
In fact, women are very sensitive in their feelings, especially for some women who have been hurt in their feelings, perhaps men's contact with the opposite sex will make her lose her sense of security, and she feels that men will change their minds at any time.
So when a man gets along with a woman, don't just stare at the woman's excessive sensitivity, and don't dislike you because the woman wants to feel safe, that will only make her more and more out of control in this relationship, more and more insecure, and finally your feelings will become more and more suffocated.
Maybe a man will say that if he really loves someone, he should be given freedom, not bound to him, and even two people who love each other need space and time alone.
It is true that if two people are glued together all the time after falling in love, it will accelerate the passage of the "hot love period", let the aesthetic fatigue period come early, and finally see each other more and more unpleasant.
People need distance to get along with each other, but there must be a premise, and this premise is to give the other party a sense of security, and do not let the other party have the opportunity to think wildly.
If men can do this, I believe that women will not "do" you, just like colleague Zhao Yu, who also talked about his love experience when he sent everyone happy candy.
When she first met her fiancée, she was like a wounded bird, always very sensitive, and she would mess with him and lose her temper with him at every turn, and in Zhao Yu's view, she had not done anything wrong.
However, Zhao Yu did not lose his temper with her, he was always very gentle with the woman's "doing", he would gently hold her when she was in a bad mood, and would patiently coax her to be happy, and when she was in a calm mood, he knew that she was just afraid of losing him.
Zhao Yu understood that women have no sense of security in this relationship, and since there is no, it will give her a sense of security.
So No matter how busy Zhao Yu is, he will take the time to take the initiative to send messages to women, make phone calls, talk to her every morning and before going to bed, and in the festivals that women care about, Zhao Yu will also send surprises.
Over time, women have become more and more confident in this relationship, and they are no longer "doing" as before.
In fact, many men do not like women to be him, but do not know that this is the performance of women who love him, if men really pay to alleviate women's anxiety in feelings, this "work" will disappear.
END.