1. Respect your marriage is worth your efforts
What kind of husband you have, what kind of marriage you have. Your husband knows how to hurt you and respect you, so even if your mother-in-law has some difficulties, she will be resolved by your husband. What I am afraid of is that the husband himself is confused, listens to his parents in everything, and all problems are considered from the perspective of the original family, so that he will put his wife on the opposite side and friction will continue.
Whether the couple can go on for a long time, in addition to being affected by the parents of both sides, it depends more on the attitude between the two people. After all, a happy marriage is based on equality and mutual respect, and only in this way can the two of them grow old and spend the rest of their lives together.
Husbands who do not know how to respect their wives show their disrespect for their wives in the open, such as showing disrespect for their wives in words and expressions; others hide in the shadows, superficially promising well, but actually doing according to their own or their mother's words, saying one set and doing another. In short, they are essentially the same.
In the face of such a husband, the wife should immediately stop the loss, and cannot blindly accommodate or forgive. Sacrificing yourself for each other is the biggest mistake, and a good husband and wife relationship must understand each other and promote each other. Women should remember that only by respecting their husbands is it worth paying for the marriage.
The experience of fan Ziyi shows us this.
2. Go back to the mother's house to borrow money to buy a house, the mother-in-law writes the name of the uncle, husband: daughter-in-law, know something is not OK
Ziyi and her boyfriend Pei Jun met in college, and both families are ordinary people. Pei Jun has more family members, in addition to his parents and brother, there are also grandmothers who need to be taken care of.
Pei Jun's mother worried about the marriage room of her two sons, because the family really couldn't come up with so much money. Seeing that her eldest son and Ziyi were going to get married after graduation, she thought that it would be better to sell her grandmother and her family's house, and then buy a three-bedroom and one-room house, where the whole family lived together.
Ziyi felt inconvenient after knowing it, but since she wanted to marry Pei Jun, she could only accept such an arrangement. After they got married, they lived in one bedroom, the mother-in-law lived in one, and the grandmother and uncle built two beds in the living room. A family of six will live there for a year.
During this time, Ziyi felt that it was really inconvenient. Grandma is old, her living habits are different from those of young people, and she asks them to save everything, and some leftovers are not thrown away, and they must be eaten all.
At night, Ziyi went to the bathroom, and when she saw the little uncle who did not have a quilt in the living room, she always closed her eyes and hurried to the toilet.
Every day when she came back from work, she saw her father-in-law Ge You lying paralyzed on the sofa, she felt extremely upset, and she was embarrassed to rest in the room, so she could only come out to help her mother-in-law prepare a large meal.
In the summer, the little uncle walked around the house bare-chested, and Ziyi felt that there was really no space for her in this home.
This year, Ziyi endured enough, she and Peijun said that they must buy a house and go out to live, if there is no money, they can borrow some from their mother's family first, and their mother-in-law will also get some money, and then the two will return it to both parents.
Pei Jun went to tell his mother about this, and her mother considered it for two days and agreed to lend them 150,000 yuan. Ziyi was very happy to hear this, and immediately went back to her mother's house to borrow money from her parents, and her parents lent her 200,000 yuan. With this 350,000 yuan, plus the savings of her and Pei Jun, it is enough to pay a down payment for a one-bedroom and one-room. At the thought of being able to have her own independent living space immediately, Ziyi did not mention how happy she was.
After selecting a house, signing a contract, paying and other links, it was sent to the Housing Management Bureau to handle the transfer procedures. At this time, Ziyi was suddenly asked by the company to travel on business, and she had to go for more than half a month.
There was no way, Ziyi handed this matter to Pei Jun, telling him that it didn't matter if he wrote his name on the house book, after all, the two people were husband and wife, which was considered common property.
After 20 days, Ziyi returned from a business trip, and the first thing she did was to see the long-awaited house book. When she saw that there was only one uncle's name on the house book, she thought that Pei Jun had taken it wrong for her. After asking again, I knew that there was no mistake.
Ziyi was confused and asked why? At this time, the mother-in-law came out to explain to her, saying that the little uncle was also in love, and the woman asked if there was a house, in order to reassure the woman, she wrote the name of the little uncle in this suite.
The mother-in-law also said as if packing a ticket: "You can rest assured Ziyi, this is temporary, the house is still you and Pei Jun, that is, the name has changed." When your brother-in-law is married, change the name. ”
"Who are you lying to?" Ziyi felt that she had been deceived, and her mother-in-law's family was lying to her, "If you don't change your name now, I will go to court and sue you." ”
"Daughter-in-law, do you know something?" Pei Jun, who was standing on the sidelines, gave Ziyi such a sentence. Ziyi suddenly felt that her husband and mother-in-law had become robbers, and everyone else was an accomplice, doing such an unreasonable thing, and actually letting herself "understand something" in turn.
She bit her lip and nodded, "I'm just too sensible to let you ride on my neck and shit!" Wait for the summons from the court! ”
After saying that, she slammed the door and left, in addition to deciding to tell her in-laws to change the name of the house privately, she also wanted to divorce her husband. From this moment on, Ziyi was determined not to let her in-laws cheat anymore and give them some color to see!
3. Having no one in mind is tantamount to pushing a marriage into a dead corner
Pei Jun's mother's practice is actually to cover her ears and steal the bell, deceive herself, use the money of the eldest daughter-in-law to buy a house, do not write the names of the eldest son and daughter-in-law, but steal the beam and change the pillar to write the name of the younger son, which is equivalent to ruining the marriage of the eldest son.
If the younger son's girlfriend knows the truth of the matter and will also feel that there is a problem with the character of the future mother-in-law, will she continue to fall in love with the younger son? As a mother, it is understandable to be anxious to raise a house for her sons, but it is not possible to obtain it by improper means.
From Ziyi's narrative, it can be seen that she is a young man who is sensible and knows how to tolerate others, and has lived with her mother-in-law for a year without any contradictions, which proves that she knows how to tolerate and also knows how to restrain her own behavior. It's just that the mother-in-law's approach is really excessive.
Looking at Pei Jun, as a husband, he obviously knows that this is not right, but he chooses to let his wife "understand things" for his brother, which means that he did not put Ziyi in his heart at all, let alone regarded Ziyi's appeal as the most important thing, but joined forces with his mother to deceive Ziyi. This is destined to push your marriage into a dead corner, and there is no room for recovery.
Ziyi's approach is correct, for this kind of in-laws who do not consider the daughter-in-law's ideas at all, they should not pay anything more, but draw a clear line with them as soon as possible, protect their own interests, and let themselves no longer be hurt.
If you were in this environment, how would you change the situation?