Shakespeare said: "Love is not a sweet word in the shade of a flower, not a honey word in the peach blossom source, not a light tear, nor a hard compulsion, love is based on a common language." ”
Language is the bridge in the marriage relationship, the mediator of love, the more well-connected the couple, the more unscrupulous when speaking, but this behavior is dangerous.
A woman is an emotional organism, easy to be affected by the external environment, a lack of attention to tell their secrets to each other, we must understand that no matter how much the husband loves you, these 4 secrets must be kept in mind.
Don't tell him how much you love him
Never tell a man how much you love him, even if the man in front of you is a good husband, a good husband.
"Love" is a range, everyone's desire for love is different, women give men too much love, he will think that you can not do without him, and some men will feel overwhelmed by women's love, subconsciously will produce an inexplicable pride and even pressure.
If a woman expresses all her love for men, it will also make the relationship between you delicate, in the marriage relationship, the relationship between two people is easy to transform from love to affection, and women have reservations, but it will make this emotion more romantic.
Don't tell him that you can't stand his place
In the marriage relationship, compared with men, women prefer to transfer their thoughts to each other, and psychology believes that this "psychological projection" will directly affect the relationship between husband and wife.
We found that there are some women who know that their husband loves her and tolerates her everywhere, so they habitually criticize her husband, she always stands at the highest point to blame her husband, and even exaggerates the shortcomings of the other party.
No matter how much he loves you, know how to stop at the right time, don't give up all the problems you think you have, and don't tell him what you can't stand him.
Jane Austen said, "It's all a matter of chance to be happy in married life." A couple's temper before marriage is very thorough, or the temper is very similar, which does not guarantee that the two of them will be happy. They always get farther and farther apart and annoy each other, and since you have to live with this person for a lifetime, you had better try to understand his shortcomings as little as possible. ”
For the husband who loves you, these words that should be hidden in the heart will cause him some psychological harm, the more people who love you, the less he will vent his dissatisfaction to you, and your accusations will undoubtedly make him become self-blame and even self-doubt.
Don't tell him what you think of his family
In the whole marriage relationship, it's not just two people living together, it's two big families together.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law runs through the entire marriage relationship, and most family relations will have more or less contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Often some female readers, as soon as the husband gets off work, she begins to talk to her husband about the problems with the mother-in-law, and what is unpleasant between the two people, if the mother-in-law is also like this, there is no doubt that the husband is the most tired.
A woman needs to understand that even if you and this man have lived for a long time and your relationship is very close, don't blame his parents or say what other family members are doing.
On the one hand is the person he loves, on the other side is his relatives, sometimes no matter how he explains to you, you will not get the answer you want, and in the end it will become a contradiction between you.
Think about it in another way, the husband loves you very much, even your family, he will care about everything, and what you have to do is also to tolerate each other.
Don't tell him who you once loved
Love is selfish, and the same is true in marriage relationships, and it is not only women who are careful, but also men who are jealous and anxious.
After a man gets married, his role begins to shift, and the more he loves you, the more possessive he will subconsciously become for you.
Some wives always inadvertently tell the secrets hidden in their hearts in the form of jokes, thinking that they are all things that have been so long ago, and he certainly does not care, but in fact, it is not so.
If he knew about your emotional experience before marriage, don't tell him the details of what happened in your emotions in order to deliberately anger him.
If he doesn't know your past at all and married you without hesitation, then don't tell him how many emotional experiences you have, how much you once loved that person, which will become an invisible crisis for men.
Many women say disapprovingly: "It's okay, it's okay to say it, my husband said he didn't care at all." ”
Remember, if he really loves you, he won't care, maybe he won't ask about your past, but your ambiguous experience is absolutely harsh to him. Montaigne said: "Some people say that a happy marriage should be made between a blind woman and a deaf man, and I think this person has a thorough understanding of marriage." ”
Secrets are like a black box for both men and women, and your secrets can be a great harm to the other half.
There are always some female friends who think that two people have lived for a long time, he may understand your feelings, so you unscrupulously express the secrets you hide in your heart, and you must know that the cognition between people is different, as Mr. Lu Xun wrote in the book: "Human sorrow and joy are not connected." ”
The secrets in your heart that have been hidden for a long time, let it sink into the bottom of your heart, and at the same time, don't deliberately ask the secrets in the other person's heart, respect each other, and give yourself and the other party a certain space, so that the appropriate "sense of boundaries" will make the whole relationship more comfortable.
References: Psychology of Love, Subconscious