Ms. Qi, 31, has stayed there since she went to the United States to study, and only returns to her hometown to visit her relatives during the Chinese New Year's holidays.
Ms. Qi has an older brother who is four years older than her, and because her brother suffers from epilepsy and some personality reasons, she has not started a family, which makes Ms. Qi's parents feel very anxious.
In August 2021, Ms. Qi's brother was introduced to a divorced woman with children, and although the woman's parents agreed to be together, they made a request that Made Ms. Qi's parents feel a little embarrassed, that is, to buy a house in the city.
Infographic
Due to the advanced age of Ms. Qi's parents and the fact that her brother has not gone out to work, this request is really difficult for them to accept.
Seeing that the woman's parents gradually lost patience, the parents opened their mouths to Ms. Qi, and they asked their daughter Ms. Qi to buy a house for her brother in full.
Ms. Qi, for her own reasons and many discordant interests with her parents, politely refused the matter, saying that she did not have the money to buy a house for her brother in full, but she was willing to contribute 120,000 yuan when her brother bought the house.
Thinking that the son did not have the ability to repay the monthly payment of the house after marriage, even if there was, the monthly payment of the house would greatly reduce the quality of life, and the parents still insisted that the daughter buy a house for her brother in full, or help her brother repay the monthly payment.
After Ms. Qi repeatedly refused this matter, she and her parents broke out many quarrels, seeing that her daughter insisted on refusing to pay for it, and her parents sued her when her daughter returned to China to visit her relatives for the sake of her son's marriage, and demanded 800,000 yuan.
After Ms. Qi studied abroad, she had no contact with her parents for two years.
Ms. Qi was born in 1991, her parents were originally land cultivators facing the loess with their backs to the sky, and later saw that people from the same village went to work in other places to earn money, and they also put down their agricultural tools and went to other places to seek development.
After her parents left their hometown, the young Ms. Qi was sent to her grandparents' house with her brother, who was four years older than her. According to Ms. Qi, she experienced a lot and understood a lot during the years when she lived in her grandparents' house.
At that time, there were other children living with my grandparents, who were the children of Ms. Qi's uncle and uncle Qi. In daily life, grandparents are very partial to their grandchildren and very disgusted with their granddaughters.
There are delicious food, there are delicious drinks, grandparents always think of grandchildren for the first time, as for Ms. Qi and a cousin are often standing by silently watching.
Seeing her grandparents treat them differently, Ms. Qi has been thinking about the reasons until Ms. Qi grows up and gradually understands the reasons.
Ms. Qi once had a hobby, she very much liked to squat in the back mountain of her grandparents' house during the Mid-Autumn Festival, as well as during the holidays, to see the beautiful nature on the one hand, and to wait for her parents to return on the other hand, Ms. Qi's hobby lasted from the age of seven to the age of 12.
In 2003, Ms. Qi's parents returned to their hometown from other places to develop, and in order to facilitate their work, they rented a house in the county town. Ms. Qi originally thought that her parents would pick her up, but after helping her brother pack her luggage, her parents left her at her grandparents' house.
Over the years, Ms. Qi has long understood that her parents are as partial to her brother as her grandparents, but she has never believed this fact, until after this incident, she did not understand the facts, and she no longer liked to sit on the back hill and wait for her parents to return.
This matter has a great impact on Ms. Qi, and when relatives came to visit, they once said why Ms. Qi has changed so much recently, just like a changed person.
When Ms. Qi was in elementary school, her grades were in the upper middle of the class, but after she went to junior high school, she has always been at the top of the class, even if she went to high school, in the face of many excellent classmates, she is still a very optimistic student in the eyes of the teacher.
The daughter's excellent results did not make her parents happy, and seeing that every time she came home with the award, her parents showed an attitude of disinterest, and Ms. Qi no longer took the award certificate to appear in front of her parents.
When she received the university acceptance letter, her parents and Ms. Qi discussed their future plans, and Ms. Qi refused her parents' idea of asking them to stay in the local area to study.
After her parents told Ms. Qi that her family could not afford her to study, Ms. Qi still packed her bags and left the house. Perhaps out of guilt, or perhaps out of discussion between relatives, her parents gave Ms. Qi 3500 yuan.
When I gave the money to Ms. Qi, my parents once said that the daughter of someone else's family sends a lot of money to the family every month, we don't ask you for this, but you can't drag down the family, after all, your brother also needs a lot of money every year to treat his illness.
Half-work and half-study also describe Ms. Qi's university life is the most appropriate, but while busy with the school's curriculum, while taking into account the part-time work after class, Ms. Qi spent her university life in this way.
During college, Ms. Qi met her current husband, and after graduating from college, the two of them registered for marriage. Because Ms. Qi's academic performance was relatively good, she was given the opportunity to study in the United States.
With the support of her in-laws, she and her husband embarked on this journey of study.
Originally thinking that her daughter would find a job after graduating from college to supplement the family, she did not expect to continue studying, and after knowing this matter, Ms. Qi's parents strongly opposed this matter.
When Ms. Qi took her husband home to visit her parents, her mother tearfully told the family and she hoped that her daughter would stop her thoughts of studying to help the family.
Through The mediation of Ms. Qi's mother-in-law, Ms. Qi's parents reluctantly agreed to the matter after accepting 50,000 yuan. But after they later asked Ms. Qi to transfer 800 yuan to her family every month, they refused, and their parents stopped contacting Ms. Qi.
After going to the United States to study, Ms. Qi and her parents did not contact for two years, until her mother took the initiative to call, Ms. Qi and her parents had contact, but in return she finally agreed to transfer 500 yuan to her parents every month as living expenses, and if her parents encountered other difficulties, they would give them separately.
Many years later, Ms. Qi was sued by her parents for 800,000 yuan.
In 2012, Ms. Qi and her husband went to the United States to study, and after receiving their doctorate, they have been staying in the United States to develop, only returning during the New Year's Holiday, and she will bring many gifts to her family every time she returns.
In 2016, after her parents saw that her conditions were better, they took the initiative to ask for an increase in the living expenses of each month, ms. Qi thought that her parents were so old, and also agreed to this request, and then rose from five hundred yuan per month to one thousand yuan.
Because in addition to asking Ms. Qi for a thousand yuan a month, her parents often asked Ms. Qi for money through other means, and her husband and in-laws have always been dissatisfied with this.
Thinking that her in-laws had borrowed money everywhere for them, Ms. Qi also relented a little, but it caused the anger of her parents, who believed that after raising Ms. Qi, she did not get much return, but benefited her in-laws a lot.
Since 2017, the relationship between Ms. Qi and her family has taken a sharp turn, and her parents often reprimand Ms. Qi for focusing on her husband's family and completely forgetting who raised her.
In July 2021, Ms. Qi's brother was introduced to a divorced woman, and in the face of the woman's parents' request to buy a house in the city, the elderly parents once again opened their mouths to Ms. Qi, and they asked Ms. Qi to buy a house for her brother in full.
Since Ms. Qi bought a new house in China in 2019 and recently changed jobs in the United States, Ms. Qi told her parents about her situation.
However, I didn't expect that my parents thought that Ms. Qi didn't want to pay for her brother to buy a house as an excuse. Later, Ms. Qi agreed to help her brother buy a house with 120,000 yuan, and her parents always disagreed with Ms. Qi's money, and they must make Ms. Qi buy a house for her brother in full.
There is also a reason why parents want Ms. Qian to buy a house for her brother in full, they know that their son cannot afford to repay the monthly payment of the house after marriage, and even if there is, the family pressure will be great.
In order to get her daughter to pay as soon as possible, Ms. Qi's parents even ran to the in-laws' house to quarrel, which once led to Ms. Qi's inability to work abroad.
In order to show her attitude, and in order to completely dispel this idea of her parents, Ms. Qi directly called her parents to tell her parents that she would not pay for her brother to buy a house! After many quarrels between the two sides in this matter, Ms. Qi did not answer her parents' phone calls for more than a month.
Seeing that their daughter's attitude was so tough, the parents still did not give up this idea, and they took advantage of Ms. Qi's return to China to visit her relatives and sued her to the court, and they demanded that Ms. Qi pay them a one-time alimony of 80,000 yuan, as well as the money they spent on Ms. Qi since childhood.
In the face of her parents' lawsuit, Ms. Qi did not back down and compromise, and she and her parents resolved the dispute in court on March 16, 2022.
After the mediation of the staff and the witness of many people, Ms. Qi agreed to pay her parents 400,000 yuan as all future alimony within two years.
After the two sides signed a paper agreement, they left the mediation site, and when Ms. Qi was about to leave, she accompanied her parents to catch a taxi in front of the court, and then gave her parents some change to pay for the fare.
Conclusion:
I feel very understanding of Ms. Qi's voluntary consent to pay her parents for all the visits, and perhaps she is looking for a one-time solution to this dispute.
Adults have an unshirkable and unavoidable maintenance obligation to their parents, and the ways and means of fulfilling their obligations can also be resolved through consultation.
The premise for parents to require their children to pay alimony in one lump sum is that the children agree to pay in one lump sum and have the ability to pay!
In this article, the parents seem to have achieved the goal of asking their daughters for 400,000, but in fact, if analyzed from a deep-seated perspective, the daughter has been humble to her parents in the whole thing, and she does not seem to want to fight with her parents.