Author: Morning Mom
Source: Mom's Handbook (ID: jqfans)
It must be admitted that the difficulty of raising a baby by modern parents is increasing day by day.
To cultivate an excellent child, it is not enough to have a good paper, but also to equip them with the ability to survive in society.
"Three years old to see big, seven years old to see old", the most likely to be eliminated by society after growing up, you can see from these details.
If parents find that their children have these 6 characteristics, they must be vigilant and correct them as soon as possible!
Children who cannot be independent
With the improvement of living conditions, most children are immersed in a comfortable and carefree honeypot, enjoying the pampering given by their parents and families.
So that now there are fewer and fewer children around who can be independent.
When I first watched "Centimeters of Love", I learned the actual concepts of "Ma Bao Male", "Giant Baby" and "Brother Fu Demon" from Guan Zhenlei.
Can't find a job – rely on parents;
Can't afford a house – by my sister;
Can't marry a wife – by the whole family.
Like him, children in their twenties and thirties who are still hiding behind their parents abound.
No matter what problems occur, they habitually rely on their parents to solve them, and they hide aside and are overwhelmed.
Such a child, when entering the society, will be difficult.
Chen's college roommate is the proper little princess of the family.
Her clothes are never washed, and they are sent home every week, and their parents wash and dry them and send them back to her.
The beds in the dormitory were also made by her mother, who changed them every month, and she never made them, not even the quilts.
After graduation, I learned from friends that she changed three or four jobs in just half a year, and after getting married, she was rejected by her in-laws because she would not do anything, and she divorced in less than a year.
Children who cannot be independent will always be the "giant babies" of their parents.
It is impossible for parents to accompany us through the whole process of life, and it is impossible to support us at all times.
Only when you are independent from primary school can you be at ease in the face of difficulties and setbacks, and can you forge ahead in the process of falling down and climbing again and again.
As parents, we have to learn to let go and give our children the opportunity to experience life alone.
Only in this way can we be regarded as the first lesson given to children and based on society.
Children who are not disciplined enough
It's easy to see that successful people are always self-disciplined.
When Zhou Enlai learned to write brush characters at the age of five, he made a rule for himself: After completing his homework every day, he would also practice writing a hundred brush characters.
Once, he went to visit relatives with his mother, and when he came back, because it was too late, his mother urged him to go to bed quickly.
As a result, as soon as he walked to the bed, he suddenly remembered that he had not practiced his words today, so he went back to the desk to practice words.
His mother advised him: "Forget it, don't write today, don't you make up for it tomorrow if you write two hundred?" ”
Zhou Enlai said, "No! Today's things are done today, tomorrow and tomorrow's things! ”
After saying this, he sat alone at his desk until he had completed his goal and then returned to bed.
What opens up the gap between each other's lives is actually not IQ and family background, but self-discipline.
Children who are not disciplined are prone to giving up, withdrawing, and compromising, so it is difficult to succeed no matter what they do.
Said that it was only half an hour to watch TV, and the result was beyond the time, still bargaining;
Say that you memorize 10 words a day, and as a result, stick to it for three days, and then forget it;
He said that he would finish his homework three weeks before the holiday, and as a result, he was still picking up the lights the day before the start of school...
In fact, it is not only children who are not disciplined, but also most adults.
Drag and pull, push three blocks four, three days to fish and two days to dry the net.
Although the word self-discipline is small, it is difficult to persist. As parents, we must shoulder the role model of our children.
The American thinker Emerson said: "What kind of person a child will eventually become depends mainly on the quality of the love, companionship and exemplary demonstration he receives from the first educator." ”
In other words, if we want to raise a self-disciplined child, the best way is to self-discipline ourselves first.
As long as we can live out the exemplary appearance, the child will naturally grow into our ideal appearance.
Children who can't afford to lose
Lin Zhiying and Xiao Xiaozhi once participated in a "pig race" together.
When the other children were pulling the piglet to run, Xiao Xiaozhi's piglet chose to drop the chain and stood still in place.
Watching everyone else reach the finish line one after another, Xiao Xiaozhi was emotionally emotional and unwilling to continue the game, afraid that he would "lose" because of it.
It is the nature of children to be afraid of losing.
Psychologist Guy Winc says, "Failure can make people feel small. ”
We have to admit that the feeling of failure can hurt children's self-esteem, making them feel that they are incompetent and not smart, which affects their confidence to continue to persevere.
However, if the child has been timid because of the "fear of losing", dare not insist and challenge, then the child who cannot afford to lose now will also "not win" when he grows up.
We need to guide children, face failures head-on, and learn to learn from failures to learn from successful experiences.
More important than the outcome is the process of enjoying the aftertaste.
When Huo Siyan and her son hummed during the trip, because they were afraid of pointing the wrong way, they asked their mother to show the driver the way.
Huo Siyan asked, "Are you afraid of being wrong?" ”
After getting the answer of Hum, she also gave patient education to help children overcome the fear of mistakes.
If you want your child to lose, then when your child fails, parents must give correct guidance and timely comfort.
Let children learn to accept their failures, overcome their fears, and move forward with confidence.
Children who are too selfish
Last week, at a dinner party, I ordered a shrimp ball that the children loved.
There was a chubby little boy who directly brought the plate containing shrimp balls to his face and did not allow others to touch it.
As long as he encounters a dish he likes, he desperately clips it into his own plate, and the small plates are piled high, and he is unwilling to share it with others.
The friend can only helplessly say: "Spoiled, spoiled." ”
In fact, today's children, more or less, will have some "selfish" performance.
No one else is allowed to touch their toys, and they are not allowed to share their own snacks.
This does not mean that your child is poor, but only a reminder that your child lacks the awareness and experience of coexistence, cooperation, humility, and hand-in-hand.
Avoid the child growing up to still maintain the habit of selfishness, affecting his social life.
Friends who do HR often tell me that one of the criteria for screening people in their company is not to be selfish.
Selfish people, unable to get along well with colleagues, and difficult to integrate into the team and the group.
In the workplace, it is impossible to think differently, cannot see others with empathy, and for a long time, it is naturally not suitable for survival in a group environment.
Therefore, although selfishness is not a mistake, it also requires parental guidance and communication in time.
Bring your child into the group environment, encourage children to share and cooperate with others, learn empathy, and consider the feelings of others.
I believe that these seemingly small abilities will become stepping stones for future integration into society.
Children without opinion
Among the interns in our editorial department, there was such a girl.
Colleagues asked her "how about team building on the weekend", "do you want to do nail art together", and "how about going to see a drama together".
She replied, "Wait a minute, I'll ask my mom if it's okay." ”
A girl in her early 20s, she can't make her own decisions about everything, asking her mother's opinion everywhere, it is naturally difficult for others to find her own charm.
In fact, many times, children do not have an opinion because their parents deprive them of the right to choose and decide.
Just like Qi Mingyue in "In the Name of Family", he was denied too much by his mother, and as a result, he went out with his friends and did not even dare to decide on his own order.
Many times, parents should return the choice and decision to their children.
Do not arbitrarily interfere with your child's right to make decisions in a way that you think is good.
Uncultured children
The news of the bear child really grabbed a big handful.
Two days ago, a boy in Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, kicked the doll dressed as a staff member twice in front of the milk tea shop.
When the child kicked for the first time, passers-by reminded him that there was someone inside the doll.
But the little boy didn't think so, and kicked him again.
The parents who stood on the sidelines not only did not stop not educating, but also went forward to prick the ears of the staff.
Sure enough, children are the epitome of parents.
Children lack parenting, and most of them are parents' education failures.
Sooner or later, children who lack education will suffer a lot of social hardships and make up for the missing lessons from their parents.
A person's upbringing is the key to determining the height of his life.
As Cai Yuanpei said:
"What determines a child's life is not academic performance, but sound personality cultivation."
Parenting is not innate, and parents need to be checked from time to time.
As a parent, only by first teaching the child how to be a cultured person is the foundation for laying the foundation for the future height of the child.
Encourage all parents.