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The best education is to grow up with the child, not to teach an obedient child. Krishnamurti said that education is about studying each child, not classifying them, which requires parents to have more educational wisdom.
Grumpy dads and helpless moms will only push their children farther and farther away
A post in the parenting forum made people feel a lot of emotions. The father's aggressiveness and irritability made his 10-year-old son both scared and dissatisfied. In the face of his father's question, the son chose not to answer, and this reaction angered the manic father.
At the dinner table, he scolded his son, rushed directly into the room and opened his son's quilt, and even the mother on the side was almost injured by mistake... But this method of education only leaves a crying child and a parent-child relationship that does not know how to repair.
In fact, the boy is not a naughty bad child, because when he stays with his mother, he is obedient and sensible, and he will correct his behavior according to his mother's teachings, but why does his father completely change his appearance?
The emotional catharsis and emotional expression of parents will be passed on to the child
When studying children's personality, there is a term called "hereditary temper", which roughly means that the way parents express emotional feelings will also be passed on to children.
If the parents deal with the problem calmly, then the child's mood will be relatively stable, if the parents like to yell, get angry or even use violence, then correspondingly, this bad temper may be passed down from generation to generation.
In the face of his mother's gentleness, the boy will also reciprocate the tenderness, and in the face of the father's violence and yelling, the boy's response is to ignore and do it.
The yelling and yelling of parents will only keep the child closed
Growing up being reprimanded from an early age is a very bad experience, which makes children not good at and unwilling to socialize, until they finally completely close themselves off.
There are many ways to solve the problem, tantrums and violence are the most stupid, hit the stone hard, the stone will not break, only their own hands will hurt; throwing tantrums at the child, the problem can not be solved, will only make the child more hurt.
Emotions determine the formation of personality, and personality determines the fate of the child's life, so that the child grows up in emotional instability, which will undoubtedly affect the child's personality and even the happiness of a lifetime.
Don't use your own standards as a measure of everything
The most seen in life is the double standard parents, children are not allowed to watch TV for a long time, but they stay up late to brush their mobile phones; parents go home to play games but ask their children to write homework immediately when they go home...
Such parents impose standards on their children, but they can't do it themselves, and when they encounter problems, they will only be violently deterred.
This kind of education is useless, because what can really get the respect of the child and enter the child's heart is the quality shown by the parents, and the authority established by shouting and strength is only an illusion.
This requires parents to try to understand the child's heart, allow the child to make mistakes, and accept the child's shortcomings, rather than imprisoning the child by the standards of an adult.
Touch the child's heart with tenderness
In "Mama is Superman", Huo Siyan's education of Hmmm is worth learning. Hmmm is not willing to share the toy to the children, Huo Siyan did not directly grab it, nor did she yell at Hum, but gently guided Hmmm and let Hmmm think differently.
Finally, Hum understands that he wants to share the toy with the guests, and realizes that the wrong Hum has also taken out a lot of other toys, and the gentle way of education does not conflict with the majesty of parents in front of their children.
Try to "show weakness and ask for help" with your child
In the process of climbing the mountain with his son, Fu Seoul saw that his son Lei Lei kept crying because he felt that climbing the mountain was too tired, and Fu Seoul did not criticize his son for this, but preemptively showed weakness to his son for help, which increased Lei Lei's courage to climb the mountain.
As Fu Seoul said, strong parents can only raise weak children, and parents learn to show weakness, so that children have the opportunity to become stronger and better.
The yelling of the parents is like a knife stabbed in the child, turn around and look at your child, who is already full of sharpness, how can you expect him to hug you?
Agree to the point of "watching", forward and share it with friends around you, and carry forward the traditional Chinese culture! 【WeChat public account: Sinology Talk】