There is a saying that goes something like this: "A boy adds more trouble than twelve girls." Indeed, raising a boy, the boy's mischievousness, mischief, and energy, make the mother more exerted more effort.
Zheng Yuanjie, the king of fairy tales, once said: "The growth of a child becomes a mother, and the mother of defeat is also a mother."
In the process of raising boys, if the mother does these three things, she can raise the boy to be an independent, responsible, and responsible child.
First, the mother is in front of the boy and appropriately "shows weakness".
"Superman" seems to have become synonymous with mothers, as a mother, meticulous care and dedication to children, for children, play a variety of "roles", when tutoring homework, is a "tutor", cooks for children, and becomes a "nanny" in life. ”
However, the omnipotence of the mother will deprive the child of the opportunity to experience and learn, and sometimes, it is not conducive to the child's growth.
In fact, if the mother learns to "show weakness" in front of the boy, says to the boy, "Can you help the mother?", and lets the boy do things for the mother, it can stimulate the boy's desire to protect and cultivate the boy's sense of responsibility and independence.
Lan Hai, an expert in education at the University of Munich in Germany, once said:
When a child is confronted with an omnipotent person, he has only two choices: one is to learn from this omnipotent person and pursue perfection, and cannot tolerate his shortcomings; the other is to do nothing, because this capable person can do anything.
On the contrary, if this omnipotent person can become a little weak and imperfect in front of the child, the child will become tolerant, strong, and take the initiative to shoulder the responsibility of sheltering the wind and rain.
Huo Siyan's son Hum is recognized as a little warm man. His high emotional intelligence is because Huo Siyan will "show weakness" in front of Hum. ”
In a talk show, the host asked Huo Siyan how to cultivate Hmmm? Huo Siyan replied, "I have a lot of things that are very weak in front of him. For example, if I'm thirsty, I'll say it to him. Pour me a glass of water, and Hum will go to the water machine to pick up water for me. When I drink tea, Hmmm will help me with the cup, take the tea leaves. ”
Huo Siyan's "showing weakness" makes her son take care of Huo Siyan's warm heart at a young age, which makes people envious.
Professor Li Meijin once said that parents must learn to show weakness, and children will become stronger.
The mother "shows weakness" in front of the boy" needs to pay attention to a few points:
1. The mother's request for help is within the boy's power.
The mother's "weakness" is not everything that requires the boy to help, and the matter of asking the boy to help is within the boy's ability and is within his ability.
2, the mother "asks" the boy to help, the attitude should be sincere.
Since the mother is showing weakness and "asking" the boy to help, then the mother must have a sincere attitude, do not command him from above and order him to "do it for me", and the more sincere the mother's attitude, the stronger the boy's feeling of being valued, and the more initiative and sense of achievement he will have in doing things.
3. After the boy helps, the mother should thank him.
Huo Siyan said that every time Hum gave her help, Huo Siyan said to Hum: Thank you so much; I am so touched by you doing this; Oh, so moved. This kind of gratitude from the mother will make the boy feel needed, will produce a sense of responsibility, and will continue to help next time in order to make the mother happy.
When a mother raises a boy, properly "show weakness" to the boy and let him help, you will find a different child.
Second, the mother should let the boy learn to do housework.
How many mothers would teach boys to do housework? For this question, it is estimated that there will be very few mothers who answer "yes". After all, most families now have only one child, and the mother is distressed about the child and cannot bear the child's work. Moreover, boys are sloppy in doing things, and letting them do housework is not only not helpful, but also adds to the chaos.
However, boys learning to do housework will be more conducive to the growth of children.
Cultivate children's independence, self-care ability and sense of responsibility.
Harvard University once did a survey and found that:
Children who do not do housework have poor adaptability to life, and when they grow up, they are prone to problems such as personality isolation.
Boys cannot stay with their mothers all the time, and sooner or later they will have to be independent. So, like doing laundry, cleaning his own room, and cooking for himself, he should learn it as soon as possible. If he doesn't know anything about cooking, or if he doesn't wash his clothes at all, it can cause trouble in his daily life.
Moreover, as boys grow up, the skills of doing housework will also play a role in other ways. Boys will do housework, and after the child becomes a family, he can help his partner to share the burden, and the family will be more harmonious.
I remember that in an episode of "Teenagers Say", there was a boy who complained on the stage that his mother let himself do housework, saying that he should study more when he was young and did not want to do housework, but the mother under the stage also said: Doing housework is to make him feel responsible, so that his future wife can be happy, people are also the heart and liver treasure of parents and mothers, why do they have to undertake all the housework? You have to learn, and you have to do more later.
Boys learn to do housework. Can enhance good parent-child communication.
In the process of raising boys, many mothers have such a problem: the mother wants to know about the boy's academic performance, or the boy's friends or other ideas, when the mother asks him, the boy will not tell you everything frankly even if he talks to you.
The reason for this problem is that boys do not like to talk face-to-face about their lives with their mothers. Face-to-face conversation is a preference for women, and boys don't like it this way, it can embarrass boys.
If you want to have a pleasant conversation with your son, then try doing housework with the boy. Whether you're preparing dinner with your child or teaching him how to clean the restaurant after dinner, doing these things together, your child will involuntarily tell you about his learning problems and his friends.
In the process of doing housework with boys, the communication between mother and child is smoother, you can enter the child's inner world, and you also pass on your wisdom to your child.
If a mother does all the housework for her child, then both you and your child will miss out on something very meaningful in life.
Third, mothers should constantly adjust the way they raise their boys.
Boy is a growing individual, are unique existence, along with the growth of boys, mothers continue to adjust the way of parenting, the education of boys must be different from time to time, from person to person, according to the characteristics of boys to determine the attitude and method of education, in order to make the boy grow healthily.
Mothers should have the awareness that the boy is constantly growing.
The growth of the boy is not only the increase of age, but also the improvement of ability in many aspects, the increase of knowledge reserves, the increase of his experience in handling things, and so on.
Therefore, the way he is educated should also change accordingly as he grows up. To adapt to the growth of the boy, it is necessary to "closely follow" his growth to formulate an educational plan and choose an educational method.
For example, if a 5-year-old boy is still a kindergarten child, he must be educated with the attitude towards kindergarten children; but when the boy reaches adolescence, he must change the way of education and educate the boy in a way that is suitable for the development of adolescent children.
As boys grow, mothers ask fathers to become more involved in boys' education.
Between the ages of 6 and 13, the role of the father becomes increasingly important; after the age of 14, the facilitator plays an increasingly important role in the boy's life.
Therefore, the mother should be willing to let go and let the father participate more in the education of the boy.
In order to educate boys well, mothers need to continue to learn, hoping that each boy will grow into a real man under the joint education of his parents.
The article is sourced from the Internet.