Please click "Follow" in the upper right corner, which is not only convenient for you to discuss and share, but also can bring you a different sense of participation, thank you for your support!
Text | Away from Mu Allure
Edit | Away from Mu Allure
Preface
Maybe no one expected that a well-known male star would cry in front of the camera because he couldn't find a suitable partner.
In the Hunan Satellite TV reality show "My Boy", 42-year-old Zhu Yuchen suddenly lost control of his emotions after a party with friends, and tears couldn't stop flowing, lamenting: "Why is no one willing to be by my side sincerely?" and even bluntly said: "I haven't thought about falling in love for five years." ”
Whenever the topic of love is mentioned, Zhu Yuchen will frown and his face will be full of pain.
The source of the pain behind this turned out to be his mother's almost breathless over-love.
"I know the details of every relationship he has and will interfere with it. Zhu's mother said, "I almost put all my heart and soul into taking care of my son. ”
Zhu Yuchen, who once had infinite scenery, became famous in the summer of 2007 with the TV series "Struggle" directed by the famous director Zhao Baogang, and together with several other "Beijing youths" in the play, he led a fashion trend.
At that time, with his excellent acting skills and super popularity, he was on a par with first-line male stars such as Hu Ge, and was praised as the "Four Elementary Students of Domestic Entertainment".
Time flies, but now Zhu Yuchen has gradually faded out of the public eye, because he is still trapped in the comfortable but confined life mode carefully constructed for him by his mother.
Zhu Yuchen's love life has become the focus of public attention many times, and every relationship seems to have ended without a problem under the intervention of his mother, and it is difficult to blossom.
His mother's doting was like an invisible shackle, making it difficult for Zhu Yuchen to find true love.
01. Growing up under the mother's excessive pampering
Zhu Yuchen was born in the cold winter of 1979 and is a native of Shanghai.
He had an older sister, and his parents had always wanted to have both children in the family, and his birth undoubtedly brought great joy to the whole family.
Since childhood, Zhu Yuchen has grown up in the endless love of his parents, and this degree of pampering can be called "afraid of melting in his mouth, and afraid of falling in his hands".
Mothers, in particular, revolve around their sons and families almost all their lives.
Although the family's economic conditions are not well-off, Zhu Yuchen has grown up like a "rich man".
In all aspects of food, clothing, housing and transportation, parents do their best to provide the best within their ability.
When Zhu Yuchen was still very young, his mother bought a piano for him.
You know, in the 80s of the last century, pianos were expensive, and usually only intellectual families or wealthy families would buy them for their children.
It can be seen from this that Zhu Yuchen's parents are so generous in their investment in his education.
Children are always prone to three-minute heat on things.
At first, Zhu Yuchen was interested in the piano and studied and practiced regularly every day.
The boredom of sitting in front of the piano for a long time made Zhu Yuchen, who lacked patience, gradually lose interest.
In the face of such an expensive piano, no matter how doting the mother of her child is, she can't accept that her son gives up easily.
So, Zhu Yuchen tried various methods to avoid practice, such as pretending to be sick and quietly damaging the piano, but after all, he couldn't resist his mother's insistence.
Whenever he was lazy and slack, his mother would ask him to practice more.
The experience of practicing the piano made Zhu Yuchen realize that no matter how much he resisted, he was always the one who finally compromised, which had a profound impact on the formation of his character.
Although her mother is extremely strict in education, and even a little non-negotiable, she takes care of Zhu Yuchen meticulously in her daily life.
365 days a year, his mother prepares breakfast for him uncontrollably, and never asks Zhu Yuchen to do any housework, even the simplest washing dishes and wiping the table.
Under the careful care of his mother, Zhu Yuchen successfully completed his studies in elementary school, junior high school, high school and even university.
As he grew older, Zhu Yuchen developed a keen interest in acting, but also longed for more freedom.
Therefore, when filling in the college entrance examination volunteer, he decisively chose the Central Academy of Drama in Beijing, which can not only study his favorite major, but also live independently away from home.
seemed to be the perfect choice, but was strongly opposed by her mother, who was worried that Zhu Yuchen would not be able to adapt to being alone outside.
Applying for the Chinese opera examination is the first time that Zhu Yuchen has violated his mother's wishes and insisted on self-choice as an adult.
In the face of his mother's strong opposition, Zhu Yuchen's attitude was extremely resolute.
He explained to his mother the authority of Chinese opera, emphasizing that the distance between Beijing and Shanghai is not far, which is convenient for family visits.
Under Zhu Yuchen's soft grinding and hard bubbles, the mother finally compromised, but put forward one condition: when he went to report, the mother must accompany him and personally check for her son.
02, the twists and turns of the first love Tang Wei and his mother's excessive love
As early as when he was in high school, Zhu Yuchen had already strengthened his determination to become an actor in the future, so he set the goal of being admitted to the Central Academy of Drama.
Although his home is in Shanghai, he did not choose the Shanghai Theater Academy at his doorstep, but chose the distant Chinese opera, in order to get rid of his mother's excessive care and pursue the space to grow freely.
On the day of the college entrance examination, Zhu Yuchen met a girl who made his heart flutter, she was Tang Wei, who also applied for Chinese opera.
The two in their youth had dreams and like-minded interests, so they naturally came together and began their first love story.
The sweetness of love did not reduce their academic troubles.
In the first college entrance examination, Zhu Yuchen and Tang Wei both failed the list, and they chose to repeat together.
In the second year, Zhu Yuchen was lucky to be admitted to Chinese opera, but Tang Wei once again passed by the admission letter.
Faced with a very different fate, Zhu Yuchen chose to report to the Chinese opera, while Tang Wei continued to repeat.
At this time, Zhu Yuchen's mother showed an ironic side, in order to ensure her son's comfortable life, she not only carefully packed a lot of luggage, but also insisted on accompanying Zhu Yuchen to Beijing to report.
After arriving in Beijing, Zhu Yuchen's mother's performance in the dormitory made Zhu Yuchen cry and laugh, and at the same time surprised his roommates.
As soon as the mother entered the dormitory, she made the bed for Zhu Yuchen, and asked her roommate if she was snoring with concern, because she was worried that it would affect her son's rest.
Then, she saw the creeper on the wall outside the window, for fear that there would be insects to disturb Zhu Yuchen's sleep, and even wanted to scald the creeper to death with boiling water, but fortunately Zhu Yuchen stopped it in time and avoided a campus joke.
In this way, Zhu Yuchen's first impression in Chinese opera was deeply imprinted in the hearts of his classmates because of his mother's excessive pampering.
Her mother's doting on Zhu Yuchen did not stop, and she admitted that she had "no self at all".
In order to be with Zhu Yuchen, Tang Wei chose to rent a house in Beijing to accompany him, live in a small house with a monthly rent of only 300 yuan, and concentrate on preparing for the exam.
Just when the two were immersed in a beautiful vision for the future, Zhu Yuchen's mother also came to Beijing to accompany them because of worries and longing.
And her meticulous care for Zhu Yuchen started with a simple meal.
Zhu Yuchen personally cooked for his mother, but his mother blamed herself for not fulfilling her responsibility to take care of him, so she decided to follow in her son's footsteps and take care of his life inseparably.
The mother's excessive involvement gradually affected the relationship between Zhu Yuchen and Tang Wei, and eventually led to the two breaking up.
Maybe Zhu Yuchen's mother thinks that Tang Wei can't give her son the best care, and Tang Wei may also not be able to adapt to Zhu Yuchen's mother's pervasive thoughtfulness.
Before Tang Wei took the college entrance examination again, they broke up peacefully and changed from lovers to strangers.
Later, Tang Wei was successfully admitted to Chinese opera, and although the two met occasionally at school, they no longer greeted each other and became the most familiar stranger.
When he graduated, Tang Wei attended Zhu Yuchen's graduation performance, and the two never crossed paths since.
Many years later, Zhu Yuchen recalled this young relationship: "At that time, we were too simple and too free. ”
03, the truth behind Zhu Yuchen's overnight popularity to no drama to act
In 2006, Zhu Yuchen, who was still working silently in the film and television industry, ushered in a turning point in his life - he was recognized by director Zhao Baogang, a well-known "star maker" in the Chinese film and television industry.
, a great director who has created many film and television classics and won countless stars, is undoubtedly a noble man for any young person who is interested in acting careers.
When Zhao Zhao threw an olive branch to Zhu Yuchen, the excitement in Zhu Yuchen's heart could not be expressed in words, and he accepted this rare opportunity without hesitation.
In that year, the youth inspirational modern drama "Struggle" directed by Zhao Baogang was broadcast, which immediately caused huge repercussions across the country.
The leading actors in the play, Tong Dawei, Wang Luodan, Ma Yili and others quickly became popular, and Zhu Yuchen was naturally no exception, and successfully became a popular student.
Then, in 2009, Zhu Yuchen, who had a taste of popularity for the first time, once again joined hands with Wang Luodan and his mentor Zhao Baogang to star in "My Youth, I Call the Shots".
With his handsome appearance, solid acting skills and increasing popularity, Zhu Yuchen should have gone more and more smoothly on the road of acting and firmly occupied a first-line position.
Things didn't go as planned.
Zhu Yuchen's mother, out of meticulous care for her son, frequently interfered in Zhu Yuchen's work and life, which made Zhu Yuchen's career fall into a quagmire.
Zhu's mother insisted that "no matter where her son goes, he must create a warm kitchen environment", which sounds full of maternal love, but in practice, it has brought unexpected troubles to Zhu Yuchen.
Just imagine, when other actors are accompanied by professional agents and teams, Zhu Yuchen needs to bring his old mother to cook three meals for him, which is already eye-catching.
What's more serious is that Zhu's mother not only cares about Zhu Yuchen's trivial matters, but also deeply involved in his work.
Once when Zhu Yuchen was filming a scene, the opponent actor accidentally bumped into him, although this was an inevitable small bump in the scene, Zhu Yuchen himself didn't mind, but Zhu's mother couldn't hold it back, rushed forward to block in front of her son, and forcibly asked to stop filming.
This move not only seriously interfered with the filming progress of the crew, but also made Zhu's mother's image particularly special in the circle.
She not only suggested that Zhu Yuchen use a stand-in to avoid all possible physical contact, but even insisted that Zhu Yuchen suspend his night play and go home to recuperate when he had a slight cold.
After this series of events, many directors who were originally optimistic about Zhu Yuchen's talent stayed away from him, after all, they were unwilling to choose an actor who would hinder the filming progress and lack the ability to make independent decisions, even if his acting skills were outstanding.
In addition to the blockage of his career path, Zhu Yuchen's emotional world is also full of twists and turns under his mother's excessive care.
Zhu's mother interfered with Zhu Yuchen's emotional choice many times, causing Zhu Yuchen, who should have had a beautiful love, to suffer repeated setbacks and never reap a stable and long-term love.
As a result, Zhu Yuchen fell into an unprecedented painful situation, on the one hand, his love and dedication to performing arts, on the other hand, he was hindered by his mother's overprotection, which made him feel helpless and struggling.
04. Mother's invisible attention and love are blocked
In the most brilliant years of Zhu Yuchen's career, he thought that he was an adult and began to work independently, and finally got rid of his mother's excessive attention temporarily.
He didn't know that his mother had been silently watching him behind his back.
At that time, Weibo was just emerging, becoming a new platform for people to share their feelings and express their opinions, and Zhu Yuchen was also keen on it, often posting some jokes or expressing his feelings on Weibo.
Until one day, Zhu Yuchen received a call from his mother, asking why he suddenly stopped updating Weibo.
It turned out that since the first day Zhu Yuchen registered on Weibo, his mother has paid close attention to his every news.
Not only that, but she also deliberately bought a high-quality notebook and copied all of Zhu Yuchen's Weibo content neatly and neatly.
Zhu Yuchen, who learned of this, was surprised and dissatisfied, and had a small dispute with his mother.
In the end, the two sides reached a consensus that his mother would no longer copy Weibo content, and Zhu Yuchen also decided not to use Weibo anymore.
Soon after this, Zhu Yuchen began his second relationship.
During the filming of the TV series "Love Is Perfect with You", he and the heroine Huo Siyan became attached to the drama and developed a relationship.
The relationship didn't last long and soon ended in a breakup.
The reason for this is that, as Huo Siyan revealed in the show, Zhu Yuchen's mother's special standards for the selection of daughters-in-law are difficult for Huo Siyan, who advocates independence, to accept.
Huo Siyan once said in public that when Zhu's mother chose a partner for her son, she didn't seem to care how deep the woman's love for Zhu Yuchen was, but was more inclined to find a "new bride" to take care of her son instead.
This concept made Huo Siyan, who has an independent personality and a slightly strong personality, feel extremely uncomfortable, and she can't accept playing such a role in love.
Under the continuous influence of Zhu's mother's concept, the love spark between Huo Siyan and Zhu Yuchen quickly cooled, and finally came to the end of breaking up.
05, a cucumber in a coat of cucumbers led by love, but it failed to beat the pressure of mother's expectations
In 2012, Zhu Yuchen and Jiang Yan filmed "The Story of Time" together, and a small episode outside the play changed the trajectory of their lives.
Once, Zhu Yuchen took home the cucumber made by Jiang Yan herself, and this ordinary home-cooked dish instantly lit up Zhu's mother's eyes.
Zhu's mother thought that Jiang Yan could cook a good dish and would definitely be able to take care of Zhu Yuchen in the future, so she tried her best to persuade her son to pursue Jiang Yan.
With the filming of the series completed, Zhu Yuchen also turned Jiang Yan into his girlfriend as he wished.
In the actual process of getting along, Jiang Yan gradually felt the strong expectations and pressure from Zhu's mother.
She asked Zhu Yuchen more than once: "Do you choose me because I can cook and take care of people? Do you think I am suitable for you, or do you think I am suitable for being a traditional good wife and mother?" Faced with this question, Zhu Yuchen often chose to avoid it, unable to give a clear answer.
For a long time, Zhu Yuchen has formed a character trait of avoiding problems under the protection and high pressure of his mother, which makes Jiang Yan feel disappointed.
In Jiang Yan's ideal, she hopes to find a partner who she can look up to and lead her forward, but Zhu Yuchen obviously does not meet this standard.
Therefore, after falling in love for a year, Jiang Yan and Zhu Yuchen's love road came to an end, and the two embarked on different journeys.
06, Zhu Yuchen's lonely dilemma and the bitter fruit of his mother's excessive intervention
"Isn't there anyone who wants to be by my side?" Zhu Yuchen, who is still single at the age of 40, burst into tears on the TV show, drinking alone and lonely.
The scene outside the show is even more jaw-dropping, late at night after the dinner, because he couldn't bear the loneliness, he actually hid in the underground kennel and licked his wounds alone.
The driving force behind all this is his mother.
Although Zhu's mother ended her son's three relationships with her own hands, she didn't care about it at all, firmly believing that everything she did was out of deep love for her son.
Her desire to control is like an invisible net, quietly shrouded in every inch of Zhu Yuchen's life.
Whenever Zhu Yuchen devotes himself to the filming of the crew, Zhu's mother is like a reluctant "pendant", following her son into the crew, the only purpose is to ensure that her son can enjoy the hot meals cooked by himself in the hotel after a tiring day.
Even on Zhu Yuchen's rest days, she didn't allow her son to cook, and once she saw her son contaminated with housework, she felt guilty.
Zhu's mother will also take the initiative to go to her son's house to clean and take care of housework, and is quite proud of this, and even declares: "I can still do it now, I can devote myself to it, I am in this house, I am worth two Filipino maids!" These words made the guests of the show stunned, and netizens could not sympathize with her excessive dedication.
Zhu's mother is deeply trapped in the self-defined "selfless maternal love", not only taking care of her son's life in all aspects, but also not letting go of every Weibo published by her son, and copying it all in a small book and cherishing it.
In the face of this heavy maternal love, Zhu Yuchen can only choose not to update Weibo anymore to reduce the unnecessary burden on his mother.
Zhu's mother's almost paranoid love for her son is a way of spiritual comfort for herself, and she chooses to deliberately ignore her son's dissatisfaction and continue to give all her attention.
Unexpectedly, her words and deeds have deeply affected the direction of her children's lives, her son is still unmarried, and her daughter has a strong fear of marriage because she has witnessed her mother's attitude towards her brother.
"Seeing how I grew up taking care of my son and younger brother, she said she couldn't afford such a responsibility. Zhu's mother did not reflect deeply on this, and still poured seventy percent of her love into her beloved son.
Zhu Yuchen once mentioned his mother's serious patriarchal concept in his recollections, such as when his sister wanted to eat meat, his mother would refuse on the grounds of his sister's figure, and when his sister wanted to eat pig's trotters, his mother would emphasize whether his younger brother could eat while filming outside, so as to refute his sister's request.
These little details undoubtedly aggravated the imbalance in my sister's heart.
Zhu Yuchen also revealed that his sister often complained about him: "If you can go home more, my life will be easier." Zhu Yuchen's disclosure made her mother criticized by public opinion, and mothers of the same age also exhorted her to learn to let go and live her own life on the show, but she never could let go of her almost suffocating love for her son.
Does Zhu Yuchen's mother really realize the seriousness of her over-involvement in her son's life, and how disturbing is Zhu's mother's intrusive maternal love?
Zhu Yuchen once said frankly: "I have done some extreme things, such as destroying musical instruments, and even tried suicide. ”
He recalls that time when he was tightly controlled by his mother, whether it was being forced to learn a musical instrument as a child, or being manipulated by his mother in his adult emotional life, he felt depressed and painful.
Although he is now over 40 years old, Zhu Yuchen still can't escape his mother's suffocating love.
No matter whether Zhu Yuchen is busy filming or not, his mother will always boil pear juice for him, squeeze all kinds of juices, and fill bottles and cans to force him to drink them.
After a long time, although Zhu Yuchen resisted, he chose to endure because he couldn't bear to hurt the old man.
His concession only fueled his mother's desire to control him.
Zhu's mother once revealed in public that she and her son are called quite uniquely, and the two are not called by the common "son" and "mother", but by the Cantonese "Yi Teye" (meaning "old wife").
The mother and son affectionately called each other "wife", which made many netizens feel uncomfortable.
However, in the eyes of Zhu's mother, this is just a manifestation of their deep relationship between mother and son.
Facing the camera, Zhu's mother finally witnessed her son's little-known fragile side: when he was young, he tried to escape his mother's suffocating love by committing suicide, and now that he is middle-aged, he even cried openly regardless of his image, asking why "no one wants to stay around".
Hearing her son crying bitterly and seeing his lonely figure, Zhu's mother was shocked and began to reflect on her behavior.
She took off the armor of pride in her son's excessive efforts in the past, and apologized to her son in public in a rare way: "I am very painful in my heart, and I feel extremely guilty for my son. In the past, I interfered too much in personal matters, otherwise I wouldn't have dragged it out until now. ”
Zhu's mother sincerely admits her mistakes, believing that her son rarely communicates with her and is unwilling to show vulnerability in front of her, showing that she is a failed mother.
"In the future, I will pay attention to respect your choices and respect your feelings. She promised.
Zhu's mother's sincere apology did not win the understanding of all netizens.
Many people believe that her words may be superficial and that it is not easy to truly change herself.
Everyone sincerely hopes that Zhu's mother can give Zhu Yuchen some breathing space, she has worked hard all her life, and she should pay more attention to her own life.
The story of Zhu Yuchen's mother and son undoubtedly sounded the alarm for parents who also have a strong desire to control.
As children grow up and have their own path to follow in life, it's wise for you to let go and relax at the right time.
07. Meticulous maternal love has become an emotional shackle
After all these years, Zhu Yuchen's mother has always adhered to a set of strict standards for the selection of daughters-in-law.
She once bluntly expressed her opinion in a show: "Women have to play the role of good wives and mothers, and once they enter my house, they have to take on this responsibility." This remark made many viewers dumbfounded.
In an episode of "Super Interview" dating back to 2010, Zhu Yuchen revealed that his mother was deeply involved in his marriage and love choice: "It's not so much about choosing a partner for me, but actually partly choosing it for herself, because she thinks that only if she has the conditions she set, she will feel at ease." In the show, Zhu's mother also said that she loves her son deeply, so she also hopes that her future daughter-in-law will be honored to be a member of her family and enjoy her love.
Zhu Yuchen felt depressed under his mother's meticulous maternal love, and even broke down and cried when talking to friends: "Why the hell, no one wants to be by my side?" Not only that, Zhu Yuchen's sister is also deeply affected by her mother's behavior, and she is still single in her forties, which shows that her mother's "selfless" love has brought a heavy psychological burden to both their sisters and brothers.
Zhu's mother also gradually realized that her heavy maternal love had become an unbearable pressure for her children, her son was looking for a partner according to her standards, and her daughter was afraid of marriage because she was afraid that she would not be able to do what her mother did.
But is this realization a little late?
As the host Li Weijia said, 45-year-old Zhu Yuchen still lives in the "ivory tower" carefully cared for by his mother, which is deeply surprising.
The essence of love should be to give freedom rather than bondage, if Zhu Yuchen's mother could have realized this earlier, maybe Zhu Yuchen's life would have a different direction.
Nowadays, in the social context of the widespread phenomenon of late marriage, Zhu Yuchen has also entered the ranks of older unmarried.
We expect him to properly handle his personal feelings while focusing on his acting career and form a warm little family as soon as possible.
————END————
Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!
It's not easy to be original, so please pay attention to it, thank you very much!
The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact me to delete, thank you!
Please do not wash, plagiarize, or reprint without authorization!