Seeing the title, you must think that how to eat is related to having a chance? Don't worry, you'll understand it after reading it.
1. Eat
The insignificant details of life always subtly convey a child's habits, disposition and upbringing.
Whether a family's children are well educated or not, they will know if they take them out for a meal; a friend and you are not a passerby, eat a few meals to understand; how the two are living, look at the kitchen, the dining table, and guess eight or nine.
Therefore, eating well is a small thing, but also a big upbringing.
Children are scolded as uncultured, mostly at the dinner table.
I have two aunts of my own family, who have a particularly bad reputation among relatives and friends, and when they have a New Year's holiday dinner, everyone does not want to invite them, but sometimes they have to be polite because of the face of relatives.
Whenever the dishes began to be served, the children of her two families "occupied" the turntable: the cold mixed green vegetables did not like to eat, so they quickly turned over; this plate of spiced beef slices was very good, so they turned to themselves and held them down, chopsticks after chopsticks to eat; liked to eat garlic fried beef tripe in the tripe, they lay on the edge of the table, owed themselves, stretched their arms, used chopsticks to find the tripe, pulled out the dishes...
A table of people holding chopsticks, unable to insert the opportunity, embarrassed not to do. But these two aunts were still very happy: "These two children, really have a good appetite!" Every time you take it out to eat, you have to eat the meat, you have to eat it. ”
Many times later, we pay attention to the child's "nutrition on the tip of the tongue", but ignore the "upbringing on the tip of the tongue".
In the face of a child who does not eat well, others can see at a glance that the child's parenting flaws. If parents can't even teach this little thing of table manners, don't they think it's funny to talk about what to do and cultivate?
We were at the dinner table, cultivating little white-eyed wolves.
When eating at home, who is the first chopsticks to give? Is this question important and does it have an impact on the child's development? The answer is definitely that there is an impact.
My daughter Xiaoyou especially loves to eat fish belly meat, tender and tender without thorns. Every time I ate fish in the past, I always took the meat of the fish belly and put it in my daughter's bowl.
But a few days ago, Grandma said that her teeth were not good, so I casually put a piece of fish belly meat into Grandma's bowl. Unexpectedly, my daughter didn't dry it, and she looked reluctant: "Oh, I want to eat that too!" ”
My daughter's tone at that time was obviously complaining that I had given someone else the meat that should have belonged to her. You see, I clipped good meat for her so many times, and this time I didn't follow her wishes, but she complained about me.
In most families, those who enjoy the "right to eat first" are definitely children: the dishes are not yet served, and they quickly use a small bowl to give the children some points to eat first; there is a piece of fish meat without thorns on the plate, which must be clipped to the child first, and no one is willing to eat...
This is the most common way for us to love our children, looking forward to the children to grow strong and strong, hoping that the children can appreciate our love and dedication.
But in fact, is this way of loving really the right one? Does the child really appreciate the parents for this? Often not, many times, the child understands these loves as what the parents "deserve", and he "deserves it". Once the child's love for you is "deserved", any gratitude and filial piety are extravagant.
2. Suffer hardships
If you don't let your child suffer now, the future world will make him very bitter.
Many college students are particularly troubled and depressed after enrolling in school for a period of time, and their daily routines are a mess, often contradicting their classmates, and some even drop out of school.
When they entered college, they found that away from their parents, many things had to be done by themselves: washing clothes, brushing smelly shoes, washing quilt sheets... Before that, these things were done by parents: "Son, you can study hard, you don't have to worry about other things!" ”
In the winter, when the sun is good, you go to some university dormitory area, sometimes you can vomit nausea: the quilts and pillow towels that come out are greasy and black; the balconies of the dormitories are piled with stinky socks, dried and worn repeatedly...
You may not believe it, but many girls' dormitories are like this, even dirtier than boys' dormitories. Is this the end result of "study hard, don't worry about anything else"?
During the graduation season last year, a reporter interviewed a group of graduates about what plans they had for the future, and several boys said, "I don't want to work, I don't want to leave here, I just want to play games with my friends in peace." ”
People in their twenties are still fragile at heart, full of fear and resistance to the coming social life, and do not have the maturity and responsibility that this age should have. Is this the end result of "study hard, don't worry about anything else"?
Many times, we all fall into a "love misunderstanding": love children too much, reluctant to let him do anything, and reluctant to let him eat at all. However, in the end, it has cultivated a lot of "giant babies" who are still nibbling on the old in their 30s...
3. Suffer losses
It is often said, "It is a blessing to suffer a loss." "Loss and cowardice here are two completely different things. What we say about letting children learn to suffer losses is actually tolerating and accepting the small mistakes of others, learning to give up the small interests in front of them in exchange for the final result of being kind to others, not blindly conniving at the bullying of others.
Many times, small things are intolerable, bad things are big; small losses are not eaten, and big losses are eaten.
There is a mother next to me, and her son is in the fourth grade. Some time ago, the mother often went to the school to find the class teacher to make trouble, because the class teacher moved his son's seat to the last row, on the grounds that the boy was taller in the class and had relatively better eyesight.
But the mother took it for granted: "The last row can't see the blackboard clearly, and can't hear the teacher's lectures, which will definitely delay the child's learning." And the back row of the class is full of scum who don't learn, what good results can you get with them? Why do I let my children suffer so much? ”
The son was also "encouraged" by his mother, often telling his classmates that the class teacher was biased, and accusing the students in the back row of being "scum".
In the end, the class teacher helplessly adjusted the child forward. However, in this final exam, it is said that the results of the test are very poor.
Have an opinion to discuss with the teacher, do you have to make trouble? Not willing to eat small losses, everything is calculated, resisting and rejecting at every turn, it is inevitable that the child's mentality will be unbalanced, affecting interpersonal relationships, affecting normal studies, I am afraid that the gains will not be worth the losses.
epilogue
Let children learn to eat well, cultivate not only a healthy body, but also an inner upbringing;
Let the child eat some hardships appropriately, bear the part of the hard work that belongs to them, and cultivate not only independence and autonomy, but also understanding of parents;
Let children learn to suffer losses, cultivate not only an open-minded mind, but also sometimes avoid the evil consequences of impulse.
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