Wen 丨 Fish Dad Image source network
1
In fact, each family has a unique family culture, you just walk in and feel it.
I remember when I was in middle school, I once went to a friend's house to play.
At that time, it was the age when two hairy boys were playing blindly, but that experience made me remember it forever.
When I went, of course, empty-handed, I didn't bring gifts.
But my friend's mother treated me like a guest, not just a child.
She beckoned her friends to catch ducks, boil water, and prepare food at noon.
I helped chop wood with my friends and ate a super meal.
At that time, a teenager could be treated like an adult.
I was deeply touched and respected.
Now that I think of it, I feel that the warm hospitality of my aunt and the bold righteousness of my friends are actually the culture of that family.
This culture is called warmth, respect.
Years later, my aunt once asked me to repair his computer, and I found the company's technicians to test and install the new system for her.
Took leave from the leader and invited her to a light meal in the restaurant downstairs.
When my friend found out, he said thank me.
Actually, I always have to thank them.
2
What kind of family raises what kind of children.
Sukhomlinsky once said, "For a family, parents are the roots, and children are the flowers." Parents often "see" their children's problems, but they do not know that it is actually their own problems that "blossom" in their children.
Enthusiastic and generous parents often teach their children to be enthusiastic.
Even if there are no words, in actual life, every move, word and deed has actually silently affected the child.
Gentle and kind parents often raise kind and friendly children.
I saw a very touching photo before, on Chengdu Metro Line 2, a little boy and his mother took the subway together, and an aunt took the baby on the train halfway, and the little boy took the initiative to give up his seat, and then when his mother was resting, he padded his head with his hand and helped his mother backpack.
Presumably, usually his mother must also be a warm-hearted person.
Moreover, parents with a sense of collectivity and rules can raise children who have rules and know how to be in awe.
I remember when my son was in kindergarten, he once participated in a New Year's event in his child's class.
The teacher told all parents participating in the activity to prepare traditional Chinese costumes in the class two weeks in advance.
For this reason, my wife, who is not good at dressing up, and I have a big head.
But I still use the little break time to go to the mall.
Finally ready.
Of course, there are many mothers, and the teacher's notice is just out, so they immediately look for it and share it enthusiastically with everyone.
We thought all the parents and children would dress as required that day.
But there are still two children wearing their usual clothes.
And their mother did not wear the required red clothes.
Very conspicuous at the event.
But they didn't feel anything wrong.
Why mention this here?
Because these two boys are the most troublesome for teachers and parents in the class.
The two little guys like to hit their classmates.
The son was also hung by them one after another, but it was just a fight between the children.
I also just taught him to protect himself well and stay away from his classmates who beat people.
It can be seen that the mother's intention is not here, but only to hand over the child to the school.
So it is customary to turn a blind eye to school notifications.
It is conceivable when parents dress up their children.
The child will surely ask why this?
Parents' answers can make children understand that doing so is a form of etiquette and mutual respect.
It is a kind of awe of the rules of group activities.
I remember that day I was tinkering at home for half a day, wearing formal clothes and a big red scarf.
Ask your son: "Is daddy handsome?" ”
The son said: "Dad, you have been preparing for so long, you must be handsome!" Do you enjoy our school activities? ”
"Yes, Dad likes your school activities very much, and this is the task assigned to Dad by the teacher, I must complete it!" It's a welcome for the New Year, we all have to dress up, it's a etiquette, so that everyone will feel happy when they see you! ”
Speaking of which, the son was happy.
Wearing your new clothes, stinky in front of the mirror.
3
"In the beginning of man, nature is good. Sex is similar, Xi is far away. ”
In just twelve words, a secret is revealed: many times, why our children are accustomed to different behaviors is not due to nature, but to the acquired environment.
To put it bluntly, even a good child will also be polluted by the garbage environment created by his parents.
I have a relative whose son was very smart as a child.
Learn what is like, like to listen to your stories, like you to give him topics, is a seedling who loves to learn.
I remember asking him what he was going to do when he grew up, and he said he wanted to go to college and become a college student.
Because there were not many college students at that time, everyone praised them.
Whoever has a college student in the family, his parents have a straighter waist.
Unfortunately, his mother is a notorious card ghost.
When her son went to school, she set up a table at home, and from morning to night, passing by their door, she could hear the commotion inside.
Sometimes children come home from school and have to cook their own hot leftovers.
The sensible children would pan rice for cooking and then go to the next room to do their homework.
But how can you do your homework with peace of mind in such an environment?
When I was very young, I was still well-behaved, and my mother said that the child should not care, it was still fine!
By the sixth grade of primary school, children start not coming home after school, doing homework with classmates and then going back.
Everyone said that this child was really sensible and studious.
But the good times did not last long, and in junior high school, the children went to the town to study.
Immediately got hooked on the web.
At this time, the mother wanted to take care of it, but the son said, "You yourself play cards every day, why should you care about me." ”
So angry that his mother wanted to hit someone, only to find that his son had grown up.
The outstretched hand withdrew again.
Today, the biggest regret of relatives is not raising their son well.
Because my son is now in his 20s, he makes trouble outside every day, and the travel expenses for the New Year have to be sent home all year round.
If this child were given a different environment, would he still be like this?
A person's growth environment will almost determine his life.
Children like to imitate and are full of curiosity about the world.
What you give him, what he sees, what he touches, he will fall in love with.
Even Mencius, when you were a child, you let him be with the pig-killing gentleman every day, and he would play the pig-killing game every day.
And if you let him see his brother and sister study, he will also think about reading.
How many good children, ruined by the garbage environment.
It cannot but be said that it is a tragedy, and what could be more cruel than ruining a person's future.
But many parents do it themselves.
4
Every family has its own unique culture, and that spiritual core is actually family style.
It is composed of every dedication, words and deeds, and ideological concepts of parents.
Here, everyone influences each other.
So, remember to read to your child!
Because reading brings each other's hearts closer.
Parent-child reading is the best companionship time in the world.
Don't spend all your time immersed in soap operas.
Let the little children be captured by mobile phones and TVs with you.
Please take every question your child asks you seriously and grow with your child.
When your child asks why, you may be able to fool around with it.
But by adolescence, you can't keep up with your child.
And the child slowly becomes a person of two worlds, and there will definitely be a gap.
The so-called generation gap is when the child grows up very quickly and you are motionless.
You haven't read any of the books your child reads, you only know that it's not good to say it's bad, don't read those miscellaneous books.
And the child asks you what is bad and what is good? You are speechless.
The song that the child listens to, you say is noisy. Movies that children love, you have never heard.
So how to talk? One to the east, one to the west.
How can people from two different worlds have a common discourse.
Fortunately, today's parents are better learners and more ways to keep up with their children.
I knew that one day my son would like something I didn't understand.
But I will not rush to object, but try to familiarize, look up information, and learn.
Try to keep up with your child.
Because the cultivation of parents determines the upbringing of children.
Dostoevsky said that being with small children can save your soul.
I think that if you want to, the children will push us to keep improving.