Text/Wei Chen
Upbringing has nothing to do with learning.
A cultured person is bright and healthy at heart, and he may not have read too many books, or even read a few words, but the upbringing is there, leaving a "simple" mark on life.
A person's upbringing is never innate, it is influenced by the environment, and it is more affected by the state of mind.
There is a cloud in the Xunzi Persuasion: "The white sand is in nirvana, and it is black with it." "It's about a good person or object, and when it's in a bad environment, it gets bad with the environment around you.
A cultured person, the environment around him must not be too bad. Long-term interaction with educated people, their own quality will also unconsciously improve a grade.
There is a cloud in the Huainanzi Saying Mountain Training: "With Xiao Ming, see a leaf falling and know that the age will be twilight." "Observing whether a person is educated or not is never looking at big achievements, but at small details.
In a truly cultured person, there are the following 5 characteristics, and you will know it when you open your mouth.
Turn down the volume
Cultured people take the initiative to lower the volume when communicating with people. They don't just look after themselves, but they can put themselves in the shoes of others.
There are always some people who like to talk in public. Because I want others to pay attention to me, I unconsciously amplify the volume.
In fact, other people's eyes are never attracted by the volume, and everyone is more concerned about the content itself.
As the saying goes, "Reason is not high." ”
Speaking out loud doesn't solve anything, and it can even complicate the original problem.
Lowering the volume is a noble quality of a person, and there are times when silence is more valuable.
The higher the level of people, the smaller the temper, the softer the tone of speech, and the volume is the most intuitive expression.
Timely silence
Language is the most important communication tool between people, and speaking is also an art.
People who can talk can communicate easily, and people who can't talk will only talk blindly.
In the face of different people, we must use different communication methods and communicate with people who understand, and there is no need to emphasize it repeatedly.
Communicating with confused people will cause an embarrassing situation of chicken and duck talking if you are not careful.
Sometimes silence makes communication more effective. Silence not only gives the other party time to understand, but also organizes the ideas they express next.
The writer Hemingway said: "It takes two years for people to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up." ”
Being able to speak is indeed a skill, and keeping silent at the right time is a higher level of practice.
Peaceful attitude
Cultured people rarely show off themselves. Even if they are really much better than others, they will not base their sense of superiority on the pain of others.
Unsatisfactory things in life will happen to anyone, whether it is a struggle roar or a gentle smile, they will eventually become a sign of yesterday.
A peaceful attitude and low profile can be largely free from dealing with disasters.
The writer Yishu once said: "A person who is truly rich in her heart never shows off everything she has, she never tells others what books she has read, what cars she has driven, where she has been, how many clothes she has worn, what jewelry she has bought, because she has no sense of inferiority." ”
Cultured people do not show off, always keep a low profile, and treat anyone with gentleness and peace.
Because of the thickness of the heart, so do not fear the years.
Full of warmth
There is a cloud in the Zhuge Liang Ji General Commandments: "Only those who are not proud are proud of others, and they are not arrogant in favor." ”
It is said that no matter how talented a person is, he cannot be arrogant to others, nor can he play a prestige to others because he is pampered.
Cultured people are always full of warmth.
Warmth is a very beautiful word, like a stove in winter, so that people are no longer cold; just like the good words in the three winters, so that people's hearts are no longer lonely.
It is not easy to be born as a person, and it is even more difficult to warm others.
Walking with warm people, life is full of poetry; with cold people, the years are full of frost.
Cultured people know very well that "a good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." "They don't easily criticize others, and their words are warm."
Euphemisms
Cultured people know how to express their anger euphemistically. They never jump or deliberately suppress their true feelings.
Instead, choose a relatively euphemistic way of expression, not only let the other party understand their own difficulties, but also do their best not to hurt each other's feelings.
Controlling emotions is an easier said than done thing.
It requires not only self-understanding, but also understanding others.
Confucius had a cloud: "Do not do to others what you do not want." The more educated the person, the more he can understand the deep meaning of "do not do to others."
People can be angry, but they can't let their emotions get out of control when they are angry.
A person's greatest upbringing is to be able to effectively control his emotions.
Euphemisms that do not hurt others are actually appeasing themselves.
Content source public number: Wei Chen [ID: weichenip] It is very easy to meet the author.
About the Author: Wei Chen, freelance writer, writing mentor. Normally quiet, occasionally humorous.
I hope that through words to bring you spiritual relaxation, may your life be more beautiful after encountering my words.