Text/Wei Chen
No one's life is sweet.
Although suffering cannot be avoided, we can choose the time and duration of its existence by personal effort.
Everything has a cause and effect, which is the principle of "planting melons to get melons, planting beans to get beans".
What a person looks like in the second half of his life depends largely on the choices he makes in the first half of his life.
When we are young, we always think that it is long to come to Japan, and if we choose the wrong one today, we can change it tomorrow.
But suddenly one day I found that some things are wrong and wrong, and there is no time to change.
The pace of time away is panicked, and the ending is often caught off guard.
There is no way to change the past, all we can do is to keep the present.
In fact, middle age is very fast, and in the blink of an eye life has entered the second half.
There are always some things that we can't dodge, people still feel like a child when they reach thirty, and people are still a little naïve when they reach forty.
Suddenly, one day when I reached fifty, I panicked and found that my childhood was far away, but my twilight years were approaching step by step.
Birth, old age, illness and death are the norm of life. Everyone can't always stay away, and what makes people feel sad is not getting old, but that they still suffer after getting old and live in pain all their lives.
Some people don't know how to refuse all their lives, so there is no self in life.
A life of watching others look and act is destined to be full of pain.
When people live to a certain age, they must know how to refuse. Only by living out of oneself can we live out the majesty of life.
If a person does not want to suffer for a lifetime, at the age of forty to fifty, he must know how to refuse the following three things, especially the third.
Reject useless socializing
Leo Tolstoy said, "A man must devote all his strength to trying to improve himself, and not waste his power on anything else." ”
What is the most important thing in a person's life? There are many people who don't know the answer, and even some people who haven't thought about it at all.
In fact, the most important thing in a person's life is to find yourself, know yourself, and complete yourself.
We need a lot of socialization when we are young, social networking is the process of searching, you can clearly feel which type of people you are on the same frequency with, and which type of people are not social.
Then, in the long-term screening and relationship run-in, I gradually found myself, and then tried to become what I wanted to be.
When you find yourself, you should understand that the second half of life is used to complete yourself.
In middle age, people must learn to reject useless social interactions.
Refuse to give selflessly
Almost everyone wants to have a person, or even a group, around them who is willing to give selflessly.
This kind of thinking is not only selfish but also absurd.
Selfless givers are either flattering personalities or deeply affectionate.
When people reach middle age, they must not let their image be "abusive good people" in the eyes of others.
The flattering type of person hides inferiority and cowardice in his heart, and he is too eager to impress others in a flattering way, but it often backfires.
There is no point in people pleasing or using affection to the depth of middle age, and will only make their faces lose ground. Some people are more kind to him, the more he thinks that he is giving you in this relationship.
A mature middle-aged man, no matter how he mixes, will not please others.
Refuse self-consumption
Shakespeare said, "A man who thinks too much loses the pleasure of being a human being." ”
It's a good habit to be cautious, but being too cautious can make life worse.
There are many tragic things in life, not because the thing itself has some chaos in the process of development, but the person concerned constantly thinks wildly and puts shackles on the soul, which leads to the final bad results.
People must learn to accept themselves, especially after they reach middle age.
There will always be better people in this world than you, so don't blindly compare, and don't despise yourself.
Everyone's existence has its own meaning, and refusing to compare with others and rejecting self-consumption are subjects that must be understood by human beings.
You can be hated by others, but please never hate yourself.
Content source public number: Wei Chen [ID: weichenip] It is very easy to meet the author.
About the Author: Wei Chen, freelance writer, writing mentor. Normally quiet, occasionally humorous.
I hope that through words to bring you spiritual relaxation, may your life be more beautiful after encountering my words.