Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
As we all know, Chongqing and Sichuan are rich in "rake ears".
"Rake ears" refers to men who are afraid of their wives, but this fearful word often represents love.
Because of love, I listen to my wife; because of love, I spoil her in everything.
Most Sichuan-Chongqing men can cook and do housework, and they do it better than many women.
For the people of Sichuan and Chongqing, it is already common for men to cook and do housework at home, and it is long common for women to be the treasurer at home.
Previous surveys have also shown that the family status of Sichuan-Chongqing women ranks first in the country, they do not care about the bride price, but after marriage, they can get full favor from men.
This is a rather incomprehensible thing for many women who have obtained family status through bride price.
I once asked a friend from Chongqing: "I heard that the women there do not want a bride price, can they get respect after marriage?" Won't your in-laws be considered worthless? ”
He smiled and said, "Most of our wives in the main city of Chongqing do not need a bride price, and even if we give it, it is only a formality." But after marriage, the man must pay all his wages, and he also has to cook and do housework at home. ”
He added: "Our Sichuan-Chongqing women have a very high family status, and our Sichuan-Chongqing men also hurt their wives, and they do not need to rely on the bride price to obtain family status." ”
So the question is, since they don't care about the bride price, what do they usually rely on to obtain family status?
After I met many Sichuan-Chongqing friends, I finally found the answer I wanted.
The confidence of Sichuan-Chongqing women comes from two points
Do not take the bride price seriously, but can have such a high family status, Sichuan-Chongqing women's confidence makes many people envious.
First, parents do not prefer sons to daughters
Most Sichuan-Chongqing families do not prefer sons to daughters, and in their minds, sons and daughters exist the same.
Many families with good financial means also divide their property equally among their children, especially when it comes to real estate.
According to the survey, the home purchase rate of women in Chongqing is as high as 40%, and most of these women's real estate comes from the support of their parents.
From ancient times to the present, the mother's family is the biggest support of women, with the support and protection of the mother's family, the in-laws naturally dare not bully them.
What's more, the daughter will inherit the property of her parents, which is equivalent to the son-in-law also inheriting the property of her father-in-law and mother-in-law, which also increases the son-in-law's respect for her father-in-law and mother-in-law.
Second, women are independent
If you look closely, you will find that most sichuan and Chongqing women are very independent, and they like to earn money instead of staying at home with children.
Many Sichuan-Chongqing women continue to work after giving birth, and the things with children are usually done by the elderly on both sides.
If there is really no one to help with the children because of family reasons, women will rush to work after the children go to school.
Independence is a characteristic of Sichuan-Chongqing women's bones, even if their husbands make a lot of money, they will not give up their survival skills.
As we all know, women have survival skills and have the capital to leave, and such women are usually more likely to be cherished by men.
In summary, if a woman has both a mother's family as a dependency and an independent personality, how can her family status not be high?
Women want to be respected in marriage, keep in mind 3 pieces of advice
First, the bride price is not a chip
In some parts of the mainland, there are legends about the sky-high bride price, and many women also say that if they do not want the bride price in their local area, they will not get the respect of the in-laws, and only by holding the bride price in their own hands can they use this to pinch the in-laws and make them dare not act rashly.
If you think about it, this is actually a very sad thing, since you are married, you should be a family, as a family, how can you use such a way to gain respect?
What's more, this approach is not necessarily effective.
The premise of exchanging the bride price for family status is that their family will always be poor, and if one day their standard of living changes, your bride price will no longer threaten them.
At that time, they will vent all the emotions that have been suppressed in their hearts for these years, and your hard days will begin.
Second, the mother's family is the woman's patron
Everyone must remember that the mother's family is the real backer of a woman, and it has never changed from ancient times to the present.
It is human nature to be soft and afraid of hardness, your mother's family is strong, no one dares to move you, but if you do not have a mother's family, the result will be completely different.
Based on this, everyone must not hurt the hearts of your parents because of a man, because in this world, no one loves you more than your biological parents, and you should not choose to marry away, when you give up everything, you are already doomed to a desperate bet.
Third, a woman's fate depends on herself
If you don't have a family, or if your parents don't love you at all, then you need to control your destiny through yourself.
First, maintain an independent personality
Be sure to remain independent, don't always think about relying on men, because relying on others is inherently risky, not to mention that men do not like to be relied on in their bones.
You can only be respected by others if you show your worth, which is practical in any environment.
If you can make money, you don't have to be completely attached to others, and your in-laws naturally don't dare to pinch you casually.
But if you can only rely on men to support you, your in-laws may despise you because of this.
Second, polish your eyes before you get married
Women do not want to suffer after marriage, and they must polish their eyes before marriage and use the best concept of mate selection to choose the most correct person.
Don't always think about a man's appearance and material conditions, his character and three views are the most important.
Find a man of good character, no matter what your life is like? Your days won't be too hard.
But if you live with a person with bad character, even if the family is relatively superior, you will only suffer.
Marriage is a matter of two families, not two people, so everyone should also observe the character of each other's family before getting married, only a family with good character can establish a relationship of mutual help and love.