Text: Ten miles
"What kind of man is worth marrying?"
”
The other day, I saw such a problem on the Internet.
Someone said: "Men who have a car and a house and a stable job are worth marrying, because such a marriage is the most stable." ”
Someone said: "Rich men are worth marrying, because if they are born well, it is better to marry well, and they will not have to work hard in the future." ”
Some people also say: "Women must be realistic about choosing a mate, even if they can't get love in the future, they can still get money, at least they won't have nothing." ”
Although the above answers seem to have some truth, the author does not agree.
Compared with these external material conditions, the author believes that men are more important than those inner qualities and love.
Is a man worth marrying? There are three questions to look at
1. Does the man love you or like you.
For a woman who wants to enter marriage, it must be clear that men like or love you.
Whether a man loves you or likes you is actually not difficult to tell.
A friend once told me this story:
Someone asked the Zen master, what is the difference between liking and loving?
The Zen master pointed to a bright flower next to him and said: "Like it, I will pick this flower and take it home."
And love is that although you like this flower, you are reluctant to take it off, but will guard it well, and then make it bloom more brilliantly.
Like is to get, but love is to give, this is one of the most essential differences between the two.
Whether a man really loves you or likes you, see how much he gives you, or asks for more, in fact, it can be clear.
Just like Shen Congwen's feelings for his wife Zhang Zhaohe, in fact, they only like, not love.
All he liked was the beautiful woman of good age.
When his wife's appearance changed after marriage, he naturally stopped liking it.
Meng Fei said on Very Do Not Disturb:
"We are too easy to like a member of the opposite sex, I see this girl is good I will like, I turn my face the next day to see that girl is good, I may also like, this is something in the bones, human nature can not be overcome." 」
Like, is unable to overcome the human nature of yearning for beautiful things, and love is a mutual bubble that can support human nature.
Beautiful things, we all want to get, this is human nature.
And what we really love, we will spend a lifetime to protect and give, afraid that it will be hurt a little, even if we don't get it, we will complete each other.
So-called:
"I can't stop him from running to someone better than me."
They all said, "Companionship is the longest confession of affection in the world." ”
Deeply,
Like is only a momentary impulse, can not withstand the wind and rain, and love is a long-term companionship, can withstand all kinds of tests.
Men who love you are worth marrying, and men who like you can often only accompany you to love.
Whether the man's character is qualified.
For the matter of choosing a mate, women must be clear, men can have no money, but they must not have problems with character.
How a man's inner qualities are, can often determine whether the man's life is good or bad.
A man's attitude towards strangers can often see his true character.
Say
How good a person is to like is the upper limit, then how bad to a stranger is a person's lower limit, and it also determines how he will treat you when your relationship becomes bad.
Because there is no interest relationship, it is more possible to see the true nature of a person.
People with good tempers, most of them will not be bad in the future.
Usually, the hotter the temper, the smaller the skill.
It's like Fang Hongwei in a siege.
Aunt Sun Roujia said that he was "not very capable and has a good temper", which was not wrong at all.
The more likely a man is to lose his temper, the more irritable he is, and the more irritable he is, the more likely it is to lose control, and then it is easier to do something wrong.
In this world, there are actually only two kinds of people:
One is a person who loses his temper, and the other is a person who can control his temper.
How can a man who can't even control his temper control his heart?
Just like Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun, Zhuo Wenjun eloped with Sima Xiangru, and in the end he was inevitably abandoned by Sima Xiangru, so people's hearts were unreliable.
If a man can't even control himself, he is naturally not worth marrying.
Men have no plans for the future.
All said:
"Falling in love without the purpose of getting married is actually playing hooliganism."
A man who has no plans for the future, if he wants to marry you, is actually talking nonsense.
Because he himself has no sense of responsibility at all, naturally he is just talking.
The man who really loves you, when choosing you, must have a plan for the future, and then enter the marriage with you.
Men who don't plan for the future either just want to have fun, or they just haven't made a complete decision and are still in a wait-and-see state.
It's not that they really don't know how to plan for the future, it's an escape from reality. Or feel stressed out of your question and choose to avoid answering.
For women, when faced with such a man, it must not be worth marrying, because they themselves have not thought about it, how can they think of you, and together is also a waste of time with each other.
It doesn't matter what men say, how men act is the most important thing.
Saying a thousand, saying ten thousand, is not as meaningful as doing a practical thing.
Men who are worth marrying, with a sense of responsibility, tend to plan the future first, and calmly take women into the palace of marriage.
Men who are not worth marrying will not know everything, push all the responsibilities and risks to the woman to bear, and then finally leave everything alone to escape.
For marriage, women must understand what they need most, because only then can you really find the marriage you want.
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