Any marriage has a "hurdle", whether you can step over it or not depends on your wisdom
Text/Coriander
Two men and women enter marriage, mostly because of love, but there are also people who marry for the sake of marriage, and even some who marry for various purposes.
Relatively speaking, a marriage with love will be happier than the average marriage. This is because, with feelings as the basis, the couple will be more tolerant of each other.
However, no matter what the reason for getting married, there will be "bumps" in the marriage. However, in front of these "hurdles", some people can step over, and some people are stopped.
People who can cross the "hurdle" of marriage are wise, because in this process, it takes a lot of energy and effort, and it is necessary to use people's knowledge reserves, flexible use of brains, and so on.
Therefore, those who are happily married are not because they never quarrel, nor because their marriages do not have "bumps", but because they know how to use their wisdom to skillfully cross one "hurdle" after another.
So, what is the "bump" in marriage?
First of all, the marriage has been long, and the feelings have gradually flattened.
Why do we call the beginning of marriage "new marriage". New, represents two people who have just started living together and are completely exposing everything they have to their partner, whether it's good or bad.
When you are newly married, it is the sweetest day, because at this time, the contract of marriage is the rise of love. Many people are in love, in fact, insecure, but when it comes to marriage, because of that certificate, the sense of security together increases suddenly, and in the new marriage period, they can get along day and night, and they are inseparable, this feeling is what many people who have changed from lovers to husband and wife like.
But as the marriage deepens, the hot feelings will slowly fade. It's a transition that every couple will have. When the feelings fade, this "hurdle" appears.
It is easy for people to get tired of what they are used to. If you don't keep your marriage fresh, it's easy to be stopped by this "hurdle.""
Wise people will discover this problem in time and then inject something new into the marriage from time to time to keep it alive.
For example, occasional romantic dates, gifts to lovers, outings, etc., are all ways to solve the bland feelings.
Second, there is an increase in temptations outside.
After a long marriage, the familiarity with the partner will become a habit.
We have a saying called "familiarity without seeing", which is something that is too familiar and you tend not to pay attention to it. At this time, the temptation of the outside is a major test for marriage.
The person in the family is already too familiar, and if there is a strange and fresh opposite sex, at this time, it is false not to be moved.
But after all, man is a human being, and he has the ability to think and is bound by morality. How to resist the temptations of the outside world is also a problem that requires the use of wisdom.
Just like the story of Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun that we are familiar with. Sima Xiangru was very depressed at first, and Zhuo Wenjun eloped with him, but when he became an official, did he not also begin to dislike Zhuo Wenjun? If it wasn't for Zhuo Wenjun's wisdom, she might have ended up like Qin Xianglian.
But fortunately, Sima Xiangru was not Chen Shimei after all, and a reply letter from Zhuo Wenjun made him ashamed and embarrassed, retracted his outgoing heart, and from then on he was at ease with his wife and grew old with a white head.
Can you say that Zhuo Wenjun's letter is unwise?
Third, it is the defect of its own character.
Another "hurdle" in marriage is a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of each other, which leads to seeing each other's shortcomings.
In fact, those shortcomings have always existed, just because when you are in love, or when you are newly married, you are in a moment of passion, and you often ignore those shortcomings.
With the deepening of marriage, with the recognition of the shortcomings of the partner, the "hurdle" comes out. The embodiment of this is that they do not like each other.
At this time, the wisdom needed is to know and tolerate.
To know is to recognize the personality of this person, to reflect on the time spent together from the beginning, or to magnify the advantages of the partner, so that these shortcomings can be narrowed a little.
Tolerance is to reconcile with oneself on the basis of understanding. Because, if you stick to your own will and look at the shortcomings of not getting used to your lover, then there may be a crisis in your marriage. If you can understand and tolerate more, and then let yourself see more openly, tell yourself that people have shortcomings, this person you love is actually like this before, since you can tolerate before, why can't you now?
Only in this way can the marriage continue, and the relationship between two people will be more stable because of these ditches and obstacles.
Therefore, marriage is really a science that needs to be constantly learned. Marriage is actually a "business" that needs to be managed with care.
I hope that people in marriage in the world can have a good attitude, actively face your marriage and life, bravely cross those "hurdles", and move towards a better marriage road.
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