01
Marriage should be two people who love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives before getting married. Marriage does require a certain material basis, but after all, material things can be created, and two people love each other is the most important.
Some people get married without anything, but after marriage, the couple loved each other, worked together, and lived well later. In the process of working together, husband and wife continue to enhance their feelings and live happily emotionally.
But there are other people, the material conditions are very good, the wedding is very grand when they get married, but they are not happy after marriage. Some couples quarreled at both ends of the three days, and some couples ended up divorcing within a few years. So whether the marriage is happy or not depends not absolutely on the material conditions, but on whether two people love each other.
02
The son was in love for three years, and on the eve of the marriage, his parents bought him a full house for marriage, and the daughter-in-law suddenly proposed to add her name. The son agreed, but the mother-in-law resolutely disagreed, and the daughter-in-law proposed to break up, and the son quarreled with his parents.
This is what happened to Aunt Yang's family, and now that the girl and her son have broken up, Aunt Yang has bought a marriage house for her son, and her son is also gambling. Aunt Yang was originally bent on being good for her son, but now that she had become like this, she didn't know if she was really wrong. Let's hear the story of their family.
Self-narrator: Aunt Yang
Age: 56 years old
Occupation: Retired worker
City: Xingtai
03
I got married when I was 24, my husband was two years older than me, and I didn't give birth to my son until I was 30. Before I conceived my son, I always couldn't conceive a child, and my husband and I went to see a lot of doctors and took a lot of medicine, and then I got pregnant.
Because it is a son who is not easy to have, my husband and I hurt him very much, and my in-laws love this child very much. Maybe we loved him too much and spoiled him, and he was always very willful. However, although a little willful, it did not do anything particularly out of the ordinary.
My son did not do well in school, did not go to university, and went to a vocational school. Later, he met a girl who had also graduated from a vocational school, and the two liked each other. The conditions in the girl's family are a little worse than my family's, but my husband and I have no problem, as long as the son and the girl love each other.
After three years of love, the two are ready to get married, and we as adults naturally want to help them start a family. My husband and I discussed it, ready to give them full money to buy a marriage house, our old couple has a son, the money will be given to the son in the future, there is no need to be stingy.
04
However, when buying a wedding house in full, we also have to give the woman a bride price and handle marriage affairs, etc., we are still relatively tight on hand, and we have to ask relatives and friends to borrow some money. The old man said we had a retirement salary, we were still working in the private sector, and some debts would be paid off soon.
We asked our son to take the girl to choose a house, because the house was for them to live in, and they had to like it. After the son and the girl went to pick a bit, they took a fancy to a three-bedroom apartment, which cost 1.6 million. Our old couple had no opinion, and were ready to buy a house immediately, who knew that the girl suddenly proposed to add her name.
The reason why my husband and I borrowed money and bought a house in full was to write only the name of my son. If you want to write the girl's name, why not let them borrow money to buy a house? Why do we have to retire and work hard to pay off our debts?
Therefore, we definitely did not agree to add the girl's name to the real estate deed, but the son agreed to the girl's request. The girl threatened that if she didn't add her name, it would mean that my son didn't love her enough and she would break up.
1.6 million is the lifelong effort of our old couple, we have a son, we want to make our son have a more relaxed life, only to bite their teeth to buy a house, we did not buy it easily. Now that my son is married, we can still help him, and if my son has anything to do in the future, my husband and I are old and can't help him.
05
Although it is not good to think of divorce when we get married, we are adults, and we should always be on guard in our hearts. In the house we bought with full payment, the house certificate only writes the name of the son, and no matter what changes in the future of the son's marriage, he will not sleep on the street.
However, if the name of the girl is added to the real estate deed, although it is possible to keep the payment voucher at the time of purchase, etc., in fact, it is unlikely that those vouchers will always be retained. Besides, the real estate deeds are all added to the name, and those certificates must be kept, is this not a clear destruction of feelings?
Instead of this or that, it is better to write the name of your son directly at the beginning, saving unnecessary trouble. So I refused the girl's request, and my husband and I insisted that the name of the son should only be written on the property deed, and the name of the girl should not be added.
In order to please the girl, the son asked us to change our minds and add the girl's name. I bitterly told my son that the stakes were high, and my husband was soft and hard to his son, but the son was like a demon and had to meet the girl's requirements.
The son was also very generous, saying that in case of divorce, he would leave the house and give the house to his wife.
I was very angry, and I told my son that if it was a house he bought with his own money, he would give it to whomever he liked, and we had no opinion. But now that our old couple has spent money to buy a house, we just want to give our son alone, and we don't agree with our son to give away our house casually.
06
My son had a big fight with me, saying that I was a money fan with only money in my eyes and no love. He said that love is sacred and great, that a man should not think about money, and that he is willing to give anything for the woman he loves.
My husband and I were so angry that we felt that he had been pampered and raised from a young age, and did not know the hard work of making money, so he was so "light-mouthed". He thinks that if it really comes to the step of divorce, he will suffer, and then we will be old, but we can't help him.
In order to avoid future troubles, we must keep this house now, so my husband and I still do not agree with the name of the girl. Later, the girl became angry, because before she threatened to break up without adding her name, and now she can't get off the stage, she really broke up with my son, and my son is very sad.
When we bought the house, the girl had already broken up with my son, who resented us and gambled that he would not want the house. Now my son lives in the dormitory, has not been home for more than a year, my husband and I have gone to him many times, and he has not seen us. I called him and messaged him, and he ignored me.
I wanted to give my son a guarantee, but the result has become what it is now, I don't know if it is really my mistake, I feel sad and confused!
epilogue:
"Parents love their sons, then they have far-reaching plans", now the divorce rate is very high, parents buy a marriage house for their sons, there will always be some defense in their hearts. Parents are people who come over, know that the world is unpredictable, there are many divorced couples, when they got married, their feelings were also very good, but then slowly their feelings changed.
Feelings are going to change, whether they are going to get better or worse, it's not clear. Parents know this truth very well, so they want to be prepared for their son's future, and do not want their son to be homeless because of the change in marriage.
But Aunt Yang's son did not understand his parents' thoughts, he was very naïve and obsessed. In fact, the girl should not have proposed to add a name to the property deed. If you want to add a name, then you also pay for buying a house, and people can't get other people's things for free through marriage.
When you get married, you must talk about feelings, but you must also face it rationally, and no one can be carried away by feelings. If a girl really loves you, she will not easily make excessive demands, nor will she break up with you casually, you must keep a cool head.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.