Author/Pond Fish
When it comes to happy marriages, I believe that many people have their own fantasy models, and in these models, there will always be many points that overlap with each other, the most important of which is to maintain loyalty to love.
Because true love is often selfish and cannot be shared with others, when a person's idea of love is more pure, the more he pursues the other person's single-mindedness towards himself, holding the hand of the son and the son with the old, and never abandoning it in this life.
But can this idea be maintained forever?
To be honest, it's hard.
Countless realistic examples tell me that everyone will continue to grow in life, and in the process, may accept new ideas, change the ideas of the past, how many people reach a certain age in life, think of their youth when they are young, and feel that they have lost a lot of things?
This seems to be the inevitability of growth, not only life, but also the love of many people is no exception.
When you are young, you like a person who is always wholehearted and unchangeable, and the love is separated by mountains and seas, and the mountains and seas can be leveled, but later, when the love of two people begins to face many challenges, many people will find that their persistence is gradually disintegrating, and it happens unconsciously. Life, when seen through, many people, whether they are facing life or feelings, may not have so much obsession, and it is only a matter of a moment to see it.
As a result, many feelings seem strange and incredible, but they are really happening in life.
Two days ago, I listened to an aunt online about her own marriage. Her husband had an affair, and it had been many years, she had already found out, but she did not say anything, did not leave, did not make a big fuss, but chose to pretend not to know, in order to maintain their marriage.
She said that as long as she does not file for divorce, she believes that her husband will not divorce, one is to see that she has accompanied herself through so many years of love, the other is to look at the face of the child, the other party will certainly not really leave the family, but if you want him to cut off outside, it is basically impossible, she understands her husband's temper, if you make trouble, but will be in the inferior position.
The chip that underpins her decision comes from her satisfaction with the status quo.
This aunt, now in her 50s, has grown up and started to work to earn money, while her own life is completely worry-free, and the quality of life is still quite high, and the basic daily life of the family also has a nanny, all of which is provided by her husband.
The two people have gone through so many years, although her husband's early career, can not do without her help, but then she has retired to the home, wholeheartedly with children, and did not participate in her husband's career, so gradually can not speak here.
Her husband now runs two factories, the scale is not small, in the eyes of the public, it can also be regarded as a successful person. To tell the truth, when she watched her husband's business getting better and better, she was ready for marriage not to be absolutely loyal. She had seen too many such examples, under the premise of many choices and even someone taking the initiative, a lifetime from the mind to the body, only loyal to one person's beautiful story, she had only seen in books, in real life, really never seen, just to see if it was discovered.
Therefore, when she had such expectations, she slowly wanted to open up in the back, and even when this really happened, she was not so broken, but more disappointed.
But think again, anyway, if it is not this person, there will be that person, she can't prevent this from happening, but it is the difference between concealment and non-concealment, but the concealment is always that the paper can't hold the fire, and she will find out one day that the final result is still the same.
She will not divorce for the sake of her two children, and she also believes that according to her husband's ideas, everything will be left to their two children.
Moreover, her husband has done a good job in the sense of family responsibility, and has never treated her badly, including her parents, who are also good, and her parents at home do not know about this matter, and have always praised her husband for being capable and filial, and is a good son-in-law.
I found that there is only one kind of extramarital affair that can really last, that is, both parties obviously know the existence of each other, but because of some other factors in reality, they make up for the negative emotions brought about by emotional infidelity, choose silence and do not care, and even achieve peaceful coexistence to a certain extent, and no one will go to each other's trouble. This approach fundamentally determines that the obstacles to the relationship will be greatly reduced.
However, the existence of such a relationship is not worth advocating.
As the original match, when she accepted the existence of another woman, it meant acquiescing to infidelity in marriage. Of course, there are many benefits that this marriage can bring to her, and these benefits make her think a lot more and weigh the pros and cons in the face of infidelity, and finally reach a balance on the surface.
However, in the middle of many nights, when thinking about this marriage, i am afraid that I am not really sad at all, I am afraid that only I can know.
Is such a life and marriage really happy?
And another woman, when she knows that her identity is not recognized by the law, not recognized by the world, or even spurned, but still chooses to continue, she has abandoned her self-esteem about the individual, and has given up the morality and faith of life. Once a person's morality is lowered, it is difficult to pull it up again, and when she is accustomed to seeking benefits in this way, it is basically impossible to become a hard-working person. At this time, her life is completely passive, and she also needs to be attached to people, and this dependence, the initiative is in the hands of others, and she cannot decide for herself.
An unsightly identity is doomed from the beginning to be a deformed relationship, and when a woman chooses this kind of life, it is a kind of self-destruction.
Girls who truly love themselves will not allow themselves to go down this road.
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