【Scientific epidemic prevention You ask me to answer】 Children's online classes, these matters should be paid attention to

What should parents pay attention to when children take online lessons? How?

Hu Manji, deputy chief physician of the Department of Psychiatry of Pudong New Area Mental Health Center, specializes in trauma psychotherapy, psychological treatment of depression, anxiety and poor parent-child relationship from the perspective of trauma, and behavioral treatment of adolescents' bad emotions and excessive use of the Internet. She combined the online classes of students at home during the epidemic in 2020 and the clinical cases of the later return to school, and the clinical cases of the past two years, to support parents on how to effectively support and accompany their children.

What should parents do first in their children's online classes?

The answer is emotional management. Why put emotional management in the first place, because the production of emotions is not controlled by our intellect, but the management of emotions can rely on our intellect. Emotions will always play a decisive role in our actions and even our results.

In the face of home online classes, children are also a few joys and a few sorrows. The mood of the parents is even more comparable to that of a flat boat on the sea: uneasy and uncertain.

Parents' helpless and complicated feelings can be understood, but they still have to pack up their emotions as soon as possible, calm their moods, clarify their thinking, and think about how to help or assist their children to arrange all aspects of learning and life at home.

The process of parents actively adjusting their emotions is also an opportunity for children to actively manage their emotions. In addition, emotionally stable parents can more timely perceive and pay attention to their children's negative emotions and provide effective positive responses to their children's emotions. Because the unstable emotions of parents will cause a greater degree of negative impact on children, on the contrary, the positive emotions of parents will also bring double positive emotional experience to children.

How to communicate effectively with your child?

Why put effective communication second? Because the parents' requirements and rules for their children, whether they are really accepted by the children from the heart depends largely on the way parents communicate with their children.

In the face of young children, the instructions given by parents to their children should be clear, clear and positive guidance. Don't think of children as the smallest adults, their cognitive abilities are not as mature as parents think.

In the face of babies who are about to enter or have entered puberty, parents need to calm down, stabilize their emotions and communicate with their children, do not use the identity of parents to suppress their children, in this way, the last embarrassment will only be the parents themselves, in the long run, the loss is also the parents themselves.

If the child listens to the parents, it must be in the communication process, parents to avoid the beginning of the child to feel judged, blamed, denied, controlled, etc., parents need to create a safe, relaxed communication atmosphere, let the child let down their guard, parents and children to communicate in a way to let the child feel from the parents of their intentions, attention, respect, and parents' trust and affirmation of them.

How to make a regular schedule?

At the beginning of home learning, it is recommended that parents pay enough attention to their children's work and rest rules to help their children formulate a reasonable schedule together. It is recommended to keep a normal learning rhythm, for example, arrange more study plans from Monday to Friday, and be relatively relaxed on weekends, but do not stay up late and get up too late.

With schedules, parents also need effective supervision. The cerebral cortex of minors is still developing, the ability to control their own behavior is not yet mature, and there will be inconsistencies in planning and execution. Don't be anxious, know that this is an inevitable phenomenon and will not have catastrophic consequences. As long as parents communicate with their children carefully and effectively, and gently adhere to their principles, they will have an effect.

How to improve children's learning efficiency?

First of all, create a space conducive to learning at home, where the interference of the child's learning process is as small as possible, and irrelevant things are not in this space as much as possible, and it must not be a closed space.

Young children are best accompanied by parents, on the one hand, to understand the difficulties in the child's class process in time, on the other hand, to prevent the child from deserting during the class. Children may be repulsive, but that's where parents need to play with their children.

In the face of adolescent babies, how to achieve effective monitoring is a bit challenging, they desire privacy, independence, autonomy, but it is true that self-discipline is not yet mature, so the learning space at the beginning needs to be agreed with the child.

During home learning, for the child himself, it is actually not easy to do, parents may wish to communicate with their children more, understand their feelings about online classes, and be good at discovering the positive aspects of children, so that children feel from the parents' affirmation and trust. At the same time, parents also need to be sensitive to the difficulties in the process of children's online class learning, encounter children's learning conditions are not satisfactory, parents must remember to avoid judging children without understanding the truth, so that children feel: in front of parents to expose their learning difficulties will not be blamed, let the children put down their worries, so that parents can grasp the truth of children's learning in time, and help children find possible solutions, without accumulating problems, wait until the children return to school.

In addition to learning, what else should children focus on?

Home learning is not as partner-friendly as schools, and the classroom arrangements are not as diverse as those of real schools, which is relatively boring. Facing a screen alone every day is not an easy task. At this time, parents need to take the initiative to help or assist their children to arrange their learning and life at home. In addition to following the arrangement of the school's online courses, parents and children arrange some activities that are not related to online classes, such as recess, after-school, and weekend arrangements. Combined with children's interests and hobbies, arrange some non-electronic products games, interaction, sports, painting, singing, food, etc., so that children will not feel bored, children are very energetic, which also requires parents to pay more patience and energy, such arrangements can also effectively prevent children from falling into the problem of excessive use of electronic products.

How to effectively regulate the use of electronic products in children?

In the face of young school children, parents cannot try to save trouble, deliver an electronic product to their children, but must not leave the supervision of parents. Parents need to know how their children use electronics in their spare time: what websites, what content, and prevent traumatic events caused by unsafe websites and web use.

In the face of adolescent school children, it is necessary to agree with the child on the rational use of electronic products, timely affirm the child's positive management behavior, and blindly suppress management will only bury the hidden dangers of greater conflicts. In the process of managing the use of electronic products, let children participate together, parents need to be interested in children, with a curious heart to understand why children use, what content they use, who they are with, and exchange their views with effective communication. Create opportunities in real life, find alternative activities for children to experience the sense of achievement, value, and pleasure they experience in the online world, help children establish real-life interpersonal communication, and experience inner belonging.

How can I build a more positive parent-child relationship with my child?

The growth of children is actually at the fingertips, and parents actively create a good parent-child relationship that is conducive to the healthy development of children's physical and mental health. During the period of home learning, parents may wish to increase some more parent-child time with their children, discuss and plan some interactive activities with their children to express positive feelings for their children, and at the same time, in the happy common activities of the family, let the children feel the positive emotional connection between parents or family members. Parents can also encourage their children to actively interact with their peers and develop good interpersonal relationships while doing a good job in epidemic prevention and control.

Text: Zhang Qi

Editor: Wu Ting

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