Core Ideas:
- 1 School bullying is relatively concentrated at this stage of junior high school, which may be related to the stage of human growth, high self-awareness and large mood swings.
- 2 The gap between urban and rural areas and the difference in family environment are not the main causes of school bullying, and the reasons for the formation of school bullying are not only the reasons for students' growth, but also family education and school management, and the influence of the external environment.
- 3 School bullying is not only a certain form of violence, but also common may be beatings, illegal restrictions on personal freedom, verbal abuse, and robbery of property.
- 4. The biggest impact of school bullying victims is not physical injury, but psychological destruction. This psychological trauma can last even into adulthood.
- 5. Schools need to do three things to prevent school bullying. First, there is a professional team to do psychological intervention on both sides; Second, form a full-coverage early warning network for timely detection; Third, intervene in a timely manner.
- 6 School bullying should be prevented at the front end, in family education, parents should communicate more with adolescent children, encourage and affirm their children, educate children should not be simple preaching, violent attitude, positive guidance to lead by example.
"Chongqing junior high school girls bullied by school", "Hainan 13-year-old girl bullied by school", "Handan No. 2 Middle School graduates say they have been bullied by schools", recently the media reported on school bullying cases, which has set off a discussion on the topic of "school bullying" on social platforms.
How to properly understand school bullying? What is the psychology of the abuser? Is the occurrence of school bullying related to family circumstances? How should schools deal with school bullying? Tencent News Education Channel specially invited Wan Fei, the founder of the Jianli Women's and Children's Rights Defense Association under the Blue Sky, to analyze the mechanism and prevention methods of school bullying.
At what age does school bullying generally occur? Why do school bullying incidents occur frequently in this age group?
Wan Fei: I have always paid more attention to this issue, both at work and later after working as a full-time social worker. Judging from the reported cases and the real-life cases I have come into contact with, there are almost no elementary schools, and there are very few high schools, most of which occur in the age range of junior high school students.
Why does school bullying occur at this age? Judging by the specific cases, the reasons are very complex. The occurrence of a case seems to be an accidental event, or there is a predisposing factor, but the reasons behind it are still very complex. In schools, relative concentration occurs at the stage of junior high school, which may be related to the stage of human growth. Children at this stage are in adolescence, adolescence refers to the transition period from childhood to adulthood, is an important period of human physical and mental development, generally girls 10~18 years old, boys 12~20 years old. In this age group, and under the age of 16, there are more incidents of school bullying.
At this age, there are some characteristics in the development. For example, high self-awareness and mood swings. A high sense of self means a greater pursuit of one's own independence, and an increased demand, that is, an increased need for oneself and respect, and the pursuit of freedom, which creates a tension and is prone to conflict with his peer group. The second mood swing is because their physical development is not so mature, on the one hand, their nerve function is easily excited, on the other hand, their will, self-control is not enough, which leads to imbalance. If there are some conflicts in life, they like or are prone to reckless and violent solutions.
Are there differences between urban and rural areas and family environment in the reported school bullying cases so far? Are these differences responsible for school bullying?
Wan Fei: I personally think not, at least it is not the main reason, maybe in individual cases, it is the triggering factor. What school doesn't have differences in family environment? Are all students in the same class on the same level? No. And school violence does not occur in every school, so I think it is unscientific to say so. Whether it is the difference between urban and rural areas, or the difference in the family's environment, do not label it, or take it out alone.
Regarding urban and rural areas, we have paid attention to county-level areas, more than one area, and found that there seem to be a little more school bullying incidents in urban schools than in rural schools, and educational resources in urban areas are definitely richer than in rural areas, but school bullying incidents are not less than in rural schools, and judging from the incidents disclosed on the Internet, it is not a little more backward areas.
The reasons for the formation of school bullying, in addition to the reasons for students' growth, are also family education and school management, the impact of the external environment, etc., which may play a greater role than the difference between urban and rural and family environments.
What kind of behavior can be defined as school bullying? Some people think "it's just fun", some people think "it's a crime", how do you understand school bullying?
Wan Fei: On this issue, from the perspective of the Internet, the group of netizens is very large, and it is normal to have such different views.
In real life, most of the cases we know involve illegal crimes. What we learned, including those that asked me personally for help, was mild and heavy, and the slight could be thought by onlookers that it was just a child-to-child fight. But if the person being beaten thinks that this is not a fight, and it has traumatized it, then it is not a fight, and the onlookers stand at a different angle. From any point of view, if it is taken as a code of conduct, it is an act that is denied.
Legally speaking, our country has a public security administrative punishment law and a criminal law, and sanctions this type of behavior more severely. For example, regarding "beating", whether it is a slap or a kick, it violates article 43 of the Public Security Administration Punishment Law. In addition, if the injury is relatively serious, after forensic evaluation, the injury is minor, then the crime is suspected and a sentence is required.
School bullying is not only "beating" violence, common may be beating, but also illegal restrictions on personal freedom, verbal abuse, snatching property, etc., some places call snatching property "beating", in addition to blackmail, indecency. School bullying is a big pocket, it includes many things, so school bullying is not just a form of violence.
In the process of legal sanctions, there is a very headache problem, that is, 14 years old is a threshold when holding accountable, general school bullying, the law cannot sanction abusers under the age of 14, unless they cause serious injuries and serious disabilities by particularly cruel means or involve homicide. In some reports, we have seen that administrative detention is carried out on perpetrators who have reached the age of 14, but according to the law, administrative detention is not carried out if they have reached the age of 14 and are under the age of 16. Whoever has reached the age of 16 and is under the age of 18 and violates the public security administrative punishment for the first time shall not be detained. Detention has an impact on its future development, but the educational effect of enforcement and non-enforcement is not the same.
In the school bullying incidents you came into contact with, why did the perpetrators act violently? What kind of mentality do you think they generally use to commit violence?
Wan Fei: Generally, the exposure is more serious, minor injuries, within the range of the victimized students, he will not speak up, many abusers will also threaten, not allowed to tell parents, not allowed to tell teachers, let alone call the police.
Regarding the psychology of violence, if you do a case analysis, some are bored and want to shake the prestige, some are encroaching on money, and some want to retaliate, and the retaliation here is not necessarily that the victim violates a certain person or group of abusers, but that the abuser thinks "you once said something unfavorable to me", because children at this age are relatively sensitive. Others want to prove their bravery, "Believe it or not, who can I hit?" There are even just bad moods, "I just want to release emotions and hit others."
After the school bullying incident, the victim is often under a psychological pressure, or even falls into depression, what depressive feelings will the bullying phenomenon produce for the victim? How should victims be emotionally counseled?
Wan Fei: Many of the people who turned to me for help are now in college, and some have even started families. When they talked about being bullied when they were students, most of them said that the physical damage was not the most serious, and they felt that the biggest was psychological trauma. In the process of our conversation, their common negative emotion is fear, that is, they are particularly afraid of the abuser, and sometimes the abuser is a group. Then there is the fear of the school environment, some want to change schools, and some dare not even dare to take a certain path, which will produce fear.
Depression is rare, and if it is not so severe once in a while, it generally does not cause depression. If the victim is not allowed to tell others after the violence, and then threatens frequently, or may repeat the violence (not necessarily as strong each time), depression may form. Many people say that I have been suffering for many years, not a matter of months, but more than ten years, and I overcame it myself.
In many cases, it has been found that these abused children have not dared to tell their families and teachers for a long time, why is there such a mentality and phenomenon? For what reason?
Wan Fei: I'm just a subjective inference. The first point is that the abuser threatens with violence, which is equivalent to giving instructions, which is somewhat similar to the perpetrator of domestic violence, or PUA, which is psychological control. Because the two are very close, they live in the same environment, and the abuser says, "If you resist, I will be heavier next time, I will kill you", and the threat is still very severe. For the victim, this threat is all around, although it may be only a verbal threat, but what if it really happens? "Forget it, I won't say it."
Second, the victim feels that "if you say it, there will be no result." "Some victims told their teachers that they might also play 50 boards each. Because the abuser will make up all kinds of excuses, "Why did I hit you?" "There will even be some reasons made up.
The victim will evaluate, I say or not, I may not achieve any goals if I say it, or forget it.
It is understood that all 50 states in the United States have anti-bullying legislation, compared with foreign countries, what are the measures to deal with school bullying in the mainland? What preventive and remedial measures should schools take in this regard?
Wan Fei: Our country has relevant laws and regulations. For example, Article 39 of the Law on the Protection of Minors stipulates that "schools shall establish a system for the prevention and control of student bullying, and carry out education and training on the prevention and control of student bullying for teaching staff, students, etc." In addition, schools are required to promptly stop it, notify parents of both sides to participate in the identification and handling of behavior, and promptly provide psychological counseling, education and guidance to relevant minor students.
In 2017, 11 departments, including the Ministry of Education, the Supreme People's Procuratorate, and the Ministry of Public Security, issued the Plan for Strengthening the Comprehensive Management of Bullying of Primary and Secondary School Students, and the Ministry of Education took special actions to prevent bullying among primary and secondary school students in 2021, all of which achieved good results. The policies and measures formulated by the state are in line with our national conditions, and our country will conduct a lot of research before formulating laws and systems, and widely solicit the opinions of society, which has played a great role.
Our institution and a private school have jointly built a youth mental health service base, the school is called Jianli Hongyuan School, and there has not been a single case of bullying since the establishment of the school. They have set up a prevention mechanism for school bullying, first, after they recruit new students every year, they have more than one anti-bullying education; Second, the campus culture of their school is called "elegant words and deeds", which is to speak civilly; Third, they have an "early warning network", whether it is junior high school or primary school, each class has a psychological committee, the school has special training for psychological committee members and class teachers, as long as the psychological committee members find that the students in the class have eight abnormal psychological behaviors such as sudden crying, solitary silence, and suddenly no speech that was lively before, they will quickly report to the class teacher. Relying on the class teacher-psychological teacher-psychological counselor system to deal with students' negative emotions in a timely manner eliminates the basis for the occurrence of student bullying incidents. The psychological committee here only observed psychological behavior, not for disciplinary violations, and no one thought that they were "whistleblowing" after reporting to the head teacher, and the school also stopped five cases of student suicide in a timely manner.
Therefore, if the school wants to do prevention, first, there is a professional team to do psychological intervention on both sides; Second, form a full-coverage early warning network and discover it in a timely manner. Third, intervene in a timely manner.
South Korea plans to link school violence with college entrance examination employment, what do you think is the significance of the implementation of this policy? Is such a policy also suitable for the national conditions of the mainland?
Wan Fei: I see it this way, and it remains to be seen what kind of role it will play.
In the cases I have come into contact with, the children who commit violence in school violence generally do not have better academic performance. In the environment of our country, whether the abuser can pass the college entrance examination and not go to high school is a question mark. If the abuser can't go to high school or get into college, then what does this policy have to do with him? How is this policy defined with regard to employment? Including the restriction on the examination of civil servants, this thing is difficult to grasp.
At this time of immature psychological development, it is still necessary to stand in a helping perspective, we say that victims need humanistic care, and the perpetrator, due to immature development, should also help them more. Blindly saying that sanctions are not a deterrent to young children. After the measures come out, they must be targeted and have a benign response to the problem. I am personally not optimistic about linking school violence with college entrance examination employment, even if there is a policy, will it have a positive impact on school violence? Not necessarily.
As a parent, how to detect and prevent whether your child is in school bullying in time, and how to comfort and counsel from a psychological level?
Wan Fei: As a parent, you don't know whether your child is bullying others or being bullied, and honest people can also do surprising things. Some parents say that my child is very honest and will not hit people, but this is not certain. Parents are advised –
First, communicate more with your children. Observe and discover his abnormal behavior, when the child is suddenly silent and talks less, at least when the parents feel different from his usual, they must really care about him. If parents find out later, they just ask, "What's wrong with you?" Is there something wrong with you? Was it bullied or something? "This very blunt, very direct approach, has no effect.
Second, parents should encourage, affirm or accompany their children. We found that many students rarely talk to their parents, especially in adolescence, parents generally say "he is rebellious, my child is becoming more and more disobedient", this is from the parent's point of view, from the child's point of view is "I am not respected, he always uses his standard to demand me". So parents also need to learn how to communicate with children of this age.
Third, parents should not just preach in education, if they speak rudely at home, even the husband and wife are prone to violence, when the negative emotions are very strong, they will be released violently, which is a bad education for children. At home, parents should teach by example and try to do some positive guidance, rather than saying "you are not allowed to do something", this kind of preaching is useless for children.
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