01
I was a very empathetic person, and I was most resentful of bullying and other behaviors in schools. Since becoming a mother, I have been indignant about things like bullying in schools.
Every child is a treasure in the palm of his parents' hands, and he is afraid to melt in his mouth and afraid of falling in the palm of his hand. And children whose parents care so much may encounter hateful school bullies on the road to growth.
Recently, a video of a girl being slapped on the roof of Chengbei Primary School in Bishan District, Chongqing City, was widely circulated in the circle of friends. In the video, a girl is surrounded by a group of girls and is slapped 54 times in 3 minutes. During this time, some people kept kicking and shoving, and some people took a bottle of beer and poured it on her head.
The hateful bully is violent, scolding and grinning, and spitting foul words; the lonely bully, silent, without any resistance, silently bears the bullying of a group of people. The contrast between the two is so strong that it is extremely uncomfortable to watch.
Over the years, reports of bullying in schools can be said to have not stopped at all. Every three to five minutes we can see similar bullying phenomenon in the public eye. Like what:
15-year-old poor students with excellent grades were sent to key middle schools, and finally destroyed by campus bullying;
The second-year girl was bullied by many classmates, and was beaten badly after returning the hand;
The girl's scars are painful, and this school bullying has not been known for a week;
The 15-year-old was beaten to death by his classmates to stop bullying in school
Teenage girls are "dying" of school violence: parents don't come and don't call the police
……
02
Why is school bullying repeatedly prohibited? I think this question must be the focus of many netizens.
First of all, big things become small, small things become small things, which is almost every consensus reached by every school with bullying. Because the school wants to maintain the reputation of the school, do not want others to talk about their school, is a derogatory tone, and do not want to affect the school's next enrollment because of the so-called bullying phenomenon.
Secondly, just like the "victim guilt theory", when the school deals with this matter, it will always tell parents that "a slap does not sound, and your child must have a problem." Parents with softer ears, after the teacher's soft grinding and hard bubbles, agreed to the other party's way of just apologizing. The informality of parents cannot heal the psychological trauma of children, and some even reject school because they have encountered bullying, and finally have to go to school; some even suffer from depression, which has become a tragedy of life.
In the end, the bully does not bear the punishment they deserve, which is also the driving force for them to continue to do evil. The bully's parents will say: "Oh, he is still a child, it is normal not to understand things, everyone should give the child a chance to reform, can not move the child to be punished, can not move the child to transfer school." ”
All in all, the school's and the mud, the easy forgiveness of the bullied family and the bully's family's pretentious confession attitude afterwards are the culprits that cause the repeated prohibition of bullying on campus.
03
So, what are the characteristics of bullies? What kind of family do bullies generally come from?
First, the family in which they live is not harmonious, and there may be domestic violence.
Children are a group with strong imitation ability. Parents are the people who have been in contact with their children for the longest time, so the first object of children's imitation is their own parents.
Children living in a harmonious family atmosphere generally have a stronger sense of happiness and a simpler mind. For children with discordant families, they will also learn many bad problems of other family members in a subtle way. For example: swearing, like to do things, like to throw things, like to vent anger on others.
At home, children belong to relatively weak individuals, and even if they have great grievances, they dare not compete head-on with their parents. After returning to school, there are more peers, and children do not have a sense of awe, but it is easy to transfer the dissatisfaction received at home to their classmates at random.
Second, there is a lack of family love.
In some left-behind children's families, parents leave their children to go to other places to earn money to support their families in order to get rid of financial difficulties. But the result is often that the money is earned, but the child is biased. After the adolescent child begins to rebel, the parents go home to try to let the child get lost, and the result is often unsatisfactory.
Some parents are busy with their careers all day, even if they live under the same roof with their children every day, but there is not much communication with their children. Some even go out to work when the child has not yet gotten up, and when the child comes home from work, the child has fallen asleep. Such children who have not been loved by their parents for a long time are also prone to become perpetrators, because they want to prove their sense of existence too much.
Third, academic performance is relatively poor.
There is a saying that "near Zhu is red, near ink is black". Yes, children with good academic performance often put their minds on the overcoming of difficult problems, and always try their best to score more. Children with poor academic performance will always have their minds twisted in other places.
For example: extorting money from classmates, bullying classmates with an excuse, wanting to pursue when they see beautiful girls, and being inextricably linked to bad teenagers in society.
04
In fact, it is not impossible to prevent the breeding of bullying on campus, but it requires unremitting efforts in many aspects.
First of all, families with weak children should teach their daughters how to protect themselves. For example: to strengthen the body, let yourself first have a strong physique, so that the bully looks like a type of bully who is not very good at bullying. Don't be left alone, try to be with your classmates on the way to and from school. Control your own words and deeds, especially the more naughty students in the class, do not provoke.
Secondly, parents who are hot-tempered and strong should pay attention to their children's every move at any time, and do not lead their children astray because of their irresponsibility. When a child makes a mistake, our first thought should not be to shirk responsibility, but rather to stand up proactively and set an example for the child to dare to bear the consequences. The apology is the apology, the compensation is the compensation, the education is the education, and there is no ambiguity.
In the end, teachers and school leaders should not be in harmony with the mud, they must deal with the problem from a fair perspective, and they must not force the bullied family to give in in order to reduce the impact of the incident, and finally just get an insignificant apology. In the treatment of bullying, the punishment should be punished, the dismissal should be dismissed, and the police station should not be tolerated.
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School bullying is emerging in an endless stream, and while we advocate severely punishing bullies, we also deeply feel that the task of youth protection is long and arduous. I hope that parents, teachers, and schools can work together to try to kill such things in the cradle.