Text | Rice grain mother
After reading this news, the rice grain mother had mixed tastes in her heart. A while ago, a 19-second video of school bullying went viral inside a middle school.
The video records Shanshan Shan, a 13-year-old girl, who was brutally bullied by girls from the same school twice.
The speed with which the Internet spread was astonishing, and in just a few days, the video spread not only throughout the school, but even among other middle schools in the city.
Shanshan's peaceful campus life was turned upside down.
Survived bullying, but did not survive onlookers
The first time she was bullied and filmed a video, the abuser threatened Shanshan that if she told the story, there would be a second or third time.
Afraid of making a big deal out of things, Sanshan decided to endure it alone in silence.
But the abuser decided that she was timid and a bully, so he blocked Shanshan in the corridor the next day, this time not only punching and kicking her, but also forcing her to hand over 400 yuan, and filmed the video again.
Meanwhile, videos of Shanshan being bullied last time have been circulating in schools.
In the classroom, on the playground, wherever she went, she was accompanied by countless strange eyes and discussions.
Within a few days, when her spirit was on the verge of collapse, she let her mother detect the clue.
Under her mother's questioning, Shanshan confided the truth, and her bullying finally attracted the attention of the school.
Subsequently, the police intervened in the investigation and sentenced the perpetrators under the age of 16 in the first bullying to 5 days of detention (and finally did not carry out the detention), and the three perpetrators of the second bullying were "released to the mountain" after only verbal criticism and education because they were under the age of 14.
Shanshan thought that the nightmare would end after the bullying incident was dealt with.
But unexpectedly, the vortex of public opinion swept her into a darker abyss.
The video of Shanshan being bullied before is still widely circulated within the group and on the Internet, and the intervention of the police and the school has made this bullying incident known to everyone.
In the eyes of others, Shanshan being bullied belongs to "a slap that can't make a sound", because she is not a "serious person" on weekdays.
It is understood that Shanshan was more rebellious before, violated school rules many times, and was regarded as a "problem girl" at school.
These pasts, which are not "invulnerable", have attracted more reproache and insults to Sanshan.
Some people hold the mentality of curiosity, and the bullying video of more than ten seconds is watched over and over again, and many rumors are bred around; There are also people who are inexplicably full of malice, and when they see Shanshan they can't help but step forward and fall into the well.
Shanshan's mother said that after the bullying video went viral, more and more people in the school wanted to bully their daughter.
Once when picking up her daughter from school, she happened to meet a group of people who wanted to surround her daughter, and quickly stepped forward to block it, so as to avoid the tragedy from happening again.
But a mother can't take care of her daughter all the time, and what should Shanshan do when she is single?
To this end, the mother repeatedly asked the school and the police station for help to delete the video of her daughter being bullied, but to no avail.
For a long time in public opinion, Shanshan's already precarious psychological state became more and more overwhelmed, and she was recently diagnosed with depression.
Looking back on the whole incident, the insults and fists and kicks of the abuser did not crush Shanshan, but the fire of rumors that could not be extinguished burned her last hope.
In the past two years, school bullying incidents have received more and more attention, but we know very little about the problem of "secondary harm" in bullying.
A netizen who has been bullied once anonymously sent out this paragraph:
"Exactly fifteen years.
In the classroom where I was beaten by them, they bullied me and left without me.
Only me, trapped in endless fear, did not come out for fifteen years. ”
For many bullies, they can grit their teeth and carry it abruptly at the moment of being bullied, but the psychological shadow generated by bullying and the long-term strange gaze of the surrounding environment will instantly break their psychological defenses.
Bullying is not a "traffic password"
For victims of bullying, every description of a bullying incident is like forcing them to experience nightmares again.
Every time she wrote about this kind of case, Rice Mother would repeatedly consider her words and try to protect the victim's information.
Because Mother Migrain hopes that such a voice can attract everyone's attention and attention while directing everyone's attention to the perpetrator, instead of promoting the "spectator mentality" in public opinion, causing secondary harm to the victim.
But there are always some crazy people who not only spread videos with malice, but also use other people's scars as traffic passwords.
Some time ago, a short video platform rose a "bullying wind".
A very large adult man, with a pitiful voice, said contrivedly in front of the camera: "I'm so afraid of school violence, I hope someone will protect me." ”
Some young girls, wearing smoky makeup and imitating the problem girl on campus to collect protection fees, filmed "What if the class flower goes against me?" "This reverse bullying script.
There are also many imitation makeup bloggers, whose faces are painted bruised, and they harvest waves of traffic with fake "bullying makeup".
Even the anti-bullying drama "Dark Glory", which caught fire some time ago, was also hailed as a "hot terrier maker".
The comment area of these videos is sought after in addition to jokes, and the few who are easily drowned out by the real voice of the bully:
"I really don't understand why our nightmares have become a tool for others to play terriers, and they are performed with laughter."
If you say the above, everyone can see that it is innuendo and imitation, then the following one, the rice grain mother really suffocated.
Teenage boarding students, directing and acting in the following scenes in the dormitory:
A person sat weakly at the table reading textbooks, and a "big brother" who looked arrogant and unreasonable came behind him, snatched snacks, drinks, papers, etc. on his desk, and after consuming it for a few seconds, threw the packaging bag on the bullied.
The plot progressed to this point, the atmosphere became more and more tense, and Mi Li's mother almost felt that a violent scene was about to appear in the next second.
But as soon as the camera turned, the "big brother" just now threw his valuable watches, tablets and other items to the bullied, showing a posture of "charity" and "daddy raising you", completing the so-called "reversal".
Open the video comment area, and the front row is full of this kind of frivolous speech that does not concern itself:
"I want to be bullied like this too!"
"Campus Daddy!"
"This is not a cure!"
Nightmarish bullying has become a "homophonic terrier" and "reverse terrier", and if someone stops it in the comment area, these people will justifiably reply with a sentence of "serious you will lose".
They don't seem to realize that the small fights and scramble jokes in the script are the prelude to a lot of school violence.
After reading this, Mi Li's mother can't help but ask, if bullying is allowed to become a tool for entertainment, then where should the real bully go?
Those who are bullied have no way to seek help
There are many people who frame school violence as physical violence, but they don't know that a lot of bullying starts with "jokes".
A psychology teacher once shared such a case:
At first, a few classmates just threw the helper's belongings around the class, claiming that they were just playing, and it soon developed into tearing up homework books and drawing turtles on their clothes.
In the end, it was upgraded to a scandalized cartoon that spread rumors and drew helpers, causing physical and mental damage to helpers that were difficult to heal.
After these bullying clips became popular on short video platforms, the first intuitive consequence was to confuse the public.
There was once a creator who posted two videos in a row on a platform, telling the detailed experience of "he has encountered school violence twice".
When a reporter paid attention to this information and contacted her to ask if she needed help, she replied lightly: "That's just copywriting, I made it up, thank you for your concern." ”
There are also many creators of the same type, in order to attract attention, put photos of themselves and other classmates on the video cover, indicate: scold me, slap me, hit me, pinch me, and even mark the date in the copy.
After a reporter learned about it, he found that these seemingly true and difficult to distinguish information were just memes following the trend.
But as false information floods the Internet, will the voices of those who really ask for help still be trusted?
A bullied person once confided in a big V:
"I was bullied, I couldn't find a way out in reality, I posted my bad mood on the Internet, why did some people complain, saying that this was just a spoof of my classmates, saying that I was not sick and moaning, and even questioning me for pretending, in order to attract attention."
See?
When there are more and more fake news, passers-by's perception will also be numb, resulting in the already confined survival space of the bullied.
Many bullying victims said after interviews that they would be hurt by public opinion after posting their experiences on the Internet.
They even began to question themselves because of this, whether they really had to find the reason for being bullied.
Sometimes, a sentence that we don't think we care about may hit the courage that a victim has accumulated with great difficulty, let alone the power of public opinion that has been amplified several times by the Internet?
But that's far from the worst-case scenario.
If this attitude of entertainment bullying is not curbed, the next thing to be affected are students whose views of good and evil are not yet clear.
Pi Yijun, a professor at China University of Political Science and Law, once said bluntly in an interview:
"The recreational use of school violence leads to the abuser no longer feeling guilty, so there is no pressure to commit school violence.
It is also easy to subtly change some people's cognition and attitude towards school violence, and no longer regard it as a very serious violation of humanity. ”
This is the consequences we should fear the most.
School violence is an extremely egregious act, and its seriousness should not and cannot be dissolved.
We are always asking how school violence can be stopped.
But we forget that as part of the larger environment, each of us can be part of stopping violence in schools.
Rice grain mother saw a foreign street experiment.
Several children play the role of abusers and verbally attack another weaker little girl.
Someone insulted her appearance:
"Go put on makeup, your face needs to be saved!"
A passerby walked up to him and said, "No, she doesn't need to, do you want to be treated like this?" ”
Some people criticized her hobbies:
"We all think you're a monster and can't do anything but read!"
An eldest brother said angrily: "Don't harass her, your behavior is too bad!" ”
Turned his head and comforted the bullied girl: "Good girl, just read your books well and ignore them." ”
Then, more and more people gathered around, praising the girl's beautiful schoolbag and beautiful headdress, and a grandfather playing a harmonica to soothe the girl's wounded heart.
A roadside school violence was easily resolved by the kindness of passers-by.
Mother Migrain thought that this is the attitude we should have in the face of school violence, and this is a healthy and positive environment.
As bystanders, we can all reach out and pull the child in the abyss.
Take 10,000 steps back and say, even if you can't lend a hand, at least don't equate bullying with entertainment jokes and ignorantly become accomplices of the perpetrators.
Mother Migrain believes that we can give victims a warm environment, so that they can shout for help, bravely ask for help, and have enough confidence to stand up against bullying.
Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.