The son fought with his classmates, and the "victim's perspective" was the most appropriate to distinguish between school bullying and ordinary conflicts

Text | Rice grain mother

A while ago, there were sisters who left a message wanting to see the boy's "jungle principle".

I dare not say anything else, these daily little stories, really come and go.

It has only been more than a month since the start of school, except for the calm in study, other turmoil continues.

Since he became the captain of the colonel's football team, in the past two weeks, he has frequently hung the lottery, and the reason for each time is an accident of playing football, and it can be seen that his campus life is playing out the all-martial arts march every minute (not at all).

Hmm~ So, I still have a lot of cases.

Last night, after taking a bath, I secretly hid in my room alone to wipe iodophor, but I accidentally bumped it, and reluctantly told me the truth: he had a fight with a member of the same school team and club.

I asked him: Do you need my help?

He thought about it: I will call you if you need it, and now he has solved it.

I made a pact with Miri: he could come to me for help at any time, anything, at any time.

In the first few years of elementary school, he asked me for help only a few times, and I was secretly anxious, after all, he has always been a thin man, or a gentle thin man who is weak when he is weak and weaker when he is strong.

I was also worried that he was afraid to speak because he was afraid.

Later, after reading many authoritative articles on school bullying, I suddenly opened.

Many experts have repeatedly put forward the idea that if you want to distinguish between school bullying and ordinary conflict, the "victim perspective" is the most appropriate.

In other words, whether or not there is harm and the magnitude of the damage can only be truly felt by the child himself.

(I once followed this logic and formulated a "counterattack" method for rice grains: after the thin son was beaten, I taught him to fight back like this!) ）

In recent years, I have learned to listen more and let the rice grains weigh and judge by themselves.

This time, although the other party deliberately provoked and the rice grain had obvious trauma, he himself thought that it had been leveled and would not reach the level of parents, so I had to learn to trust and let go.

So, I tried to adjust, with the mentality of listening to the story, and listened to the whole bloody drama.

The story begins one afternoon during varsity training.

On this day, the rice grain was suddenly designated by the coach to stand up and demonstrate a few dribbling actions to the varsity team, and after doing it, the coach pointed to him and said to everyone: In the future, the demonstration actions will be done by him, and he will be the captain of the varsity team.

After listening, the whole person of the rice grain was stunned, and happiness came too suddenly.

After returning home, he repeatedly recalled this moment and told me: This is really a wonderful second, the second he became the captain, his life is complete.

I don't want to say more, a man who has never experienced love, has a full life.

Compared with his excitement, a sixth-grade little brother team member was extremely dissatisfied with his appointment, shouting and asking: Why is the captain a grain of rice?

The coach was used to it and said: All the abilities of the rice grain have reached the standard, and the captain of this semester is him, just like that, disband.

Therefore, the rice grain in the little brother 100 disgruntled, 1,000 disobedience, headwind in the new official took office.

In order to stabilize the coveted captain, he can't wait to put the football on his feet.

Using the free and fragmented time to practice life, the corridors and gardens of the community are full of his figures dribbling and bumping the ball, and the usual time to watch documentaries has also become a review of various Champions League, Premier League, and World Cup matches.

Even when writing homework, my feet must not be idle, and I have to keep it on the football all the time.

The old mother narrated: If the rice grain is half of this perseverance to learn, I believe that my life will be complete.

The off-campus football club of rice grains has daily training in order to ensure results.

In addition to the two training sessions necessary in a week, the members of the competition team can also practice at any other time.

Rice grain is worried about going every day, and after applying with me several times, I tentatively agreed to go three times a week.

It's just that there are not many players outside of training, and the coach usually pulls players of several ages to practice together.

Unexpectedly, in the club, Mi Li met the unconvinced, sixth-grade little brother of the varsity team.

The road is narrow, looking at the little brother's unkind eyes, the rice grain is cold at the moment.

After each training session, the teams play a head-to-head match.

On the court, the little brother has been in front of the rice grain with the advantage of height and size, and all kinds of small movements are constant.

Rice grains naturally love to admit it, and when encountering this kind of thing, most of them will protect themselves first, and will take the initiative to avoid it from afar.

As a result, the coach of the club team saw that he had been dodging the ball and was anxious: ask him what he was doing? Why do you still dodge the ball and run? Is there a bit of an athlete's blood?!

Say it, just send him off the field. Sitting on the sidelines, Mi Li watched the little brother grimaces at him, without saying a word.

The next week, when Mi Li went to make up for training, he saw this little brother again.

Obviously, people were waiting for him, and the first dismount made the unconvinced little brother sigh.

Mi Li told me that the moment he saw the other party, he was full of thoughts: if he has been avoiding this brother, then in the future on the school team, the other party will definitely look down on him, and he will not be able to be the captain.

He would never be able to let the captain out, then there would be no way to hide today!

When waiting to play the game, Mi Li's heart crossed, and he rushed up to this little brother head-on.

Seeing this, the little brother was also unambiguous, and had the intention to cure rice grains.

Therefore, he continued to use his physical advantages, passing, tackles, rice grains frequently deflated on the field, one body was not stable, and the whole person was shoveled to the ground.

The coach noticed the little brother's movements and called a halt to the game.

Very angrily gathered the team members to admonish:

The coach usually annoys the most is to kick dirty balls, small movements, and dead hands.

On the field everyone is the opponent, we must score, we must win, this is the basic blood, there is nothing wrong at all! However, you have a greater obligation to protect your opponent, because this is the basic humanity of a person!

Is it necessary to tackle so often? Kick directly at the person's ankles, have you ever thought that the other party may be injured?!

In the future, if you have the opportunity to play professionally, then the field is all eaten by kicking football, you kick down, directly bury people's careers, and even health, is this ball still human?! Which real star have you ever seen who plays like this?!

There are those who are not convinced and unhappy, don't play these "yin" in front of the coach, go to fight outside the field, on the court, just play clean!

After the scolding, the coach asked them to run 20 laps around the court for the whole team.

After running the field, Mi Li pulled the little brother and wanted to talk to him.

This little brother, impatiently threw away his hand, said, there is nothing to talk to him.

The rice grain directly pulled down the socks, revealing three bloody wounds, and said: You kicked me and injured, if you don't talk to me, then I will tell the coach and parents and let the adults talk.

The little brother pointed at him and asked: You are threatening me.

The rice grain thought for a moment and replied: Yes.

The little brother turned and left, and the rice grain looked at him in place.

The little brother walked more than ten meters, thought about it, turned around, and asked the rice grain: What to talk about? I didn't foul on the field, I just moved a little bigger.

Rice grain stared at him: I'm already injured, my mother will definitely find your mother, my mother is very good at quarrelling, you think well.

However, I can also not tell my mother, you will not embarrass me in the future, the captain of the varsity team, I won it, I will not let go.

The little brother was silent for a few seconds and looked at the rice grain defiantly: My mother is also very good at quarrelling.

Rice grain said: Well, my mother is quite good at quarrelling, but whether your mother wins or loses the quarrel, she will definitely cut you when she comes home, you are in the sixth grade, and you still have time to fight with people?! Will I still see you on the pitch in the future?!

Rice grain said that when his last words came out, the little brother who was visible to the naked eye panicked, and he was afraid.

Hit the little brother's seven inches.

He said lightly: If I don't say it, you'll be fine. It's not that I don't take out the captain to compete with you, but you're all in the sixth grade, just this semester, what kind of elementary school team captain, go to middle school to be the captain, how prestigious.

The little brother was particularly disdainful: I only have one semester, then you let me be a wish. Rice replied lightly: The coach will not agree, and so will I.

Such a red fruit and fruitful ambition to be a captain on his face, which can only be seen in the "jungle" of little men, is really straightforward and primitive.

In this way, the first round, in the words of rice grains, probably suppressed the momentum of the little brother, but I don't know if he will fight back in the future.

Mi Li suggested that I could add the WeChat of my little brother's mother.

It's not that he was injured, he promised his little brother not to find parents.

After the rice grain asked me to add people's mothers, I took the initiative to send more about the urgency of elementary school promotion, how crucial is the sixth grade, and if I can't go to a good junior high school, I can't get into high school...

Let the little brother's mother, with learning as a breakthrough, "help" the rice grain control the little brother. It's embarrassing...

I talk to rice grains every day, learning related things, he doesn't pay attention to it at all, I thought he still can't understand hehe, people are clear.

Just don't want to do it, how angry people!

Ignoring my anger, the rice grain continued to "instigate" me: let me first "shine" the name of an education blogger to my little brother's mother, so that I am very professional, and people will think that I have a point...

This boy's brain should be used all for kicking football.

I said, you are also not far from the junior high school, how do you have so much time to play football?!

Mi Li steadied his heart: Mom, you must support me as the captain, you see that I once again perfectly saved the captain by myself, and in the future, I will protect myself like this.

As long as you are always on my side.

The little man has a sweet mouth, and he can easily get his mother's heart without studying.

Indeed, this time, the rice grains handled well, and his decisive counterattack and roundabout combat made me respectful.

At this moment, it was as if he had taken back a 100-point paper, which made me happy.

Uh-huh, studying is important, and protecting yourself is even more important.

It is not easy to raise children, only touch the stones, cross the river together, and strive to go ashore as soon as possible.

Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.