Text | Rice grain mom
Forget whether it was last year or the year before, I had a video with my girlfriend Fuji School Mom, this video made me "unforgettable" + "Grumpy": After the video, I sighed with my rice grain father: Raising a self-chicken baby, it is so fragrant!
It was early in the morning of South African time, we were chatting, and I saw in the video that her precious daughter seemed to be woken up by us, and she got up sleepily, grinned at me, said hello, and went to the bathroom to wash herself.
When she came out, she saw that her mother was still busy, and she actually found the arithmetic book herself and silently wrote a few pages. Immediately after that, she actually took out the violin and practiced it intently...
This internal drive, not to mention my family's grain of rice, seems that even I can't do it haha (but it doesn't affect my son's desire to take the initiative).
There are quite a few videos of self-help parenting for post-90s generations on the Internet.
Children under 2 years old, reading picture books to coax their mothers to sleep, helping their mothers turn off the lights, charging their mobile phones, changing their diapers, and playing with toys by themselves.
The mother in the video only needs to sit quietly and play with her mobile phone, calmly enjoying the children who wear diapers to take care of themselves, saying that this is a "self-help parenting" that bids farewell to the traditional parenting model.
These videos were watched as a paragraph, but the word "self-help parenting" still touched me.
If raising a child can really achieve self-help, the picture is really beautiful.
When I got home from work, I packed up my neat grains of rice and bounced toward me and gave me a big hug.
Then, from the neat bag, take out the neat homework, "Mom please see, the homework has been completed and checked, the bag is also sorted out."
Every night when I go home, the whole family has dinner together, enjoy a pleasant parent-child interaction, and connect feelings. Then rest each other and recharge your batteries for the day.
I thought that all this was just my wishful thinking, and the self-help learning demonstrated by the Fuji School Mom's xiaoxi made the rice grain mother feel that this daydream seemed to have a head.
Some time ago, the earth-shattering reversal of the 5-year-old child of the Colleague Chen Chen family made the rice grain mother seriously think about the feasibility of "self-help parenting".
Rice's mother in "5-year-old baby overnight self-driving burst, because of this big thing happening at home!" It was written that the 5-year-old child of the Chen Chen family suddenly opened up.
Long story short, Chen Chen's child XiaoDouding is a Buddhist baby who makes the whole office helpless. But some time ago, Xiao Douding's grandfather suddenly fell ill and his language ability was impaired.
Chen Chen asked Xiao Douding to be Grandpa's teacher and exercise Grandpa's language expression ability.
Xiao Dou Ding is quite serious about this arduous task, from simple Chinese characters and numbers, to ancient poems and additions, and even English has been arranged in the past few days.
In order to teach Grandpa more knowledge, Xiaodou Ding took the initiative to learn new ancient poems every night, recognize more words, and learn more new words.
Xiao Douding's initiative to learn moved Chen Chen to a great deal, and the whole office was filled with an atmosphere of joy.
After listening to the transformation of Xiao Dou Ding, Miss Selection said with great feeling, "The son is like a spring, and he will become stronger if you show weakness."
The younger sister also talked about an experience that her son touched her to the point of not being able to do it.
One day after work, the little sister was unwell, plus she thought about the unfinished contract and the unfinished selection, and it was inevitable that she was a little irritable in her heart.
Think about it and tutor your son during the rebellious period of the child, fight with him, and the irritability of physical and mental exhaustion is written on the face.
Seeing her son who had not yet eaten at home, the little sister said weakly, "I am very tired today and don't want to cook, let's order takeout." ”
I didn't expect my 8-year-old son to say, "Mom, I'll cook, let me come."
The child went straight to the kitchen, although the kitchen was a little messy, but the tomato scrambled eggs and fried potato chips were still decent, and the child took the initiative to brush the bowl after eating.
This series of operations made the little sister very surprised. Although she has been training her son to do housework, she really did not expect her son to do so well.
The little sister watched her son who used to jump up and down become so warm, and her heart was very moved, but this did not delay her calculating her son.
Since then, the little sister who desperately tried to be like a third lady forced herself to live as Lin Daiyu.
"This bag is so heavy that my hand will be broken!"
"Mom, I'm coming!"
From the Buddhist system where oil and salt do not enter, to self-help learning, children need an opportunity. This opportunity is the sense of responsibility that the child is needed.
Because he was needed by his grandfather, he began to learn independently; because he was needed by his mother, he began to care and be considerate like a man. The sense of responsibility that is needed allows the child to have an unexpected performance.
Rice grain mother has a colleague, last year her son just went to the first grade, just in time for the double subtraction, no exams, no homework, parents do not know what the child learned at school, nor do they know how the child learned.
Coupled with the boy's active and general self-confidence, if you ask him how he learned, he will definitely give himself a thumbs up, and then proudly tell you that he has learned.
In order to mobilize the enthusiasm of the child's learning, before the child starts school, she begins to "brainwash" the child.
She pretended to be particularly sorry and said, "Mom has not been in the first grade for too long, and the knowledge learned in the first grade has been forgotten, so I want to go to the first grade again!" “
Listening to his mother's yearning for the first grade and the regret of not being able to return to school, the son patted his chest and said, "Mom, you can rest assured, I will teach you." ”
In this way, with his mother's dream, the 6-year-old boy walked into the first-grade classroom. Every day, he listened carefully to the lectures, using images and words that he could understand, and wrote down the teacher's requirements.
Because he still had to tell his mother when he came home, he didn't dare to be careless. In this way, the child developed very good class and homework habits.
In fact, if the child can really grow up and learn self-help, the old mother can naturally relax a lot, and the happiness is bursting.
It's just that, from relying on parents to growing up self-help, children need a transition.
Around the parents, the child can enjoy the care of the parents, sprinkle a petite, brush a small skin. Without his parents, he can only rely on himself and deal with the external environment independently.
Judging from the human survival instinct, no matter how harsh the environment people are in, they will try their best to cope. In extreme environments, people will explode into unexpected potentials, because everything is only for survival.
The same is true for children, pushing children out, children will also find ways to adapt to the environment, there is a dazzling performance.
If you want your child to achieve self-help growth, the first thing is to let your child have the ability to grow.
In fact, many of the children's abilities are the same. A child who can tidy up the room, the school bag will not be messed up and cannot find things, and the homework will not be confused and organized.
Children's sense of responsibility and responsibility in life will also be naturally substituted into learning. What parents need to do is to be a good counselor to their children and stimulate the sense of responsibility and responsibility that surging in their children's hearts.
Just like colleague Chen Chen, the task assigned to Xiaodouding by Yin and Yang opened the door for Xiaodouding to learn independently and experienced the happiness gained after hard work.
Watching Grandpa get better day by day, Xiao Dou Ding is naturally full of a sense of accomplishment.
Finally, the rice grain mother wants to quote the sentence of miss selection as the end of the article, the child is like a spring, you need him, he will become stronger.
About the author: @Rice Grain Mom Love To Share (Welcome to Pay Attention), American returnee, Haidian parent, when the first place in the new book list "Parent-child English Book That Affects Children's Life" author. Focus on the scientific parenting of 0-5-year-old babies, learning enlightenment, and the world's novelty recommendation, welcome to pay attention! (5-12 years old bao mom please pay attention to: @ rice grain mother channel)