Why are baby-raising more and more anxious? Two economists tell you the answer

The other day, I was busy writing articles, and the little assistant came in and said, "Xian Dad, look at the fan base."

I thought there was something big, the mother in the group was discussing: there was a mother who wanted to report 9900 yuan to her child for a 3-day memory training camp, and then caused a big wave of problems.

Is there any effect on applying for a memory class?

How to accompany the baby to write homework? Should I have a chicken baby?

I didn't get 100 points in the Chinese test, should I be anxious?

How to let children get rid of the habit of rubbing?

The second child competes for favors, and it is difficult for parents and children to communicate.

Especially chicken babies, accompanying a homework, can force "crazy" parents, mothers have very big heads.

Think about it: why did parents who had a relaxed childhood start to "chicken babies"? Is it love, or is it the heart that is not willing to be left behind?

Today, Xian Dad and everyone discussed two questions: Why do parents keep chicken babies? Another question: how to raise a baby so that you are not anxious.

Let's start with the first question: Why keep chicken babies?

Mothers after the 70s/80s miss their childhood free-range time. After school, I play games with my friends and go home after dark when my parents shout.

However, after becoming a parent, why do you work so hard to supervise your children to do their homework?

I read a monograph written by two economists, "Love, Money and Children", and studied it specifically.

▲ Fabrizio Zilibotti and his new book Love, Money and Children: The Economics of Parenting Chinese edition

They studied the different characteristics of raising children in different countries such as the United States, Britain, Germany, Italy, Sweden, China and Japan, and came up with the economics behind parenting.

When the income gap in society is greater and the value of educational returns is greater, the easier it is for people to "chicken babies".

In foreign countries, countries such as Northern Europe, Finland and other countries have many benefits, and they are very Buddhist and not chickens; while China, the United States, Japan, etc. are pushing the baby hard.

When the domestic post-70s/80s grew up, they belonged to the planned economy, the social income gap was not large, the living standards were similar, and the gap between good and bad grades and the future was not so obvious, so there were very few chicken babies.

By now, the return on education is completely different! The more you invest in education, the more your child will earn in the future.

Famous schools, school district houses, are all signs of distinguishing classes. Especially the new middle-class families, on the way to the chicken baby, are more anxious.

The movie "Starting Line" has a logic: if children can't go to a good kindergarten, they can't go to a good primary school, they can't go to a good middle school, they can't go to a good university, they won't have a good job, a good life.

Chicken babies are not a matter of whether you want to or not, but your economic level and social and educational returns are determined, so you also need to keep chicken babies.

Second, everyone is in the chicken baby, how do you do it?

It is often said that the child wins at the starting line, so what is the child's starting line?

In fact, parents are the starting line of children! A parent who knows how to learn and is willing to learn, the child will be better.

One night before New Year's Day, chatting with Xian's mother, she said: "Husband, I have been very happy over the years, there is no trouble with writing homework with the baby, most of the reasons for this is that you have taught well, Xiao xian's study has not let me worry about it, thank you."

The sudden praise of The virtuous mother surprised me, as if I had won the lottery! Haha ~~

In fact, Xiaoxian is not a gifted child, most of them belong to the formation of a good habit and learning rules.

As long as parents are willing, it cannot be said that every child can become a bully, at least on the road to excellence.

I said before: to cultivate a bully child, it must be the second method and the first habit! The secret of learning is always open, and the habit of learning is slowly formed.

Therefore, you need to build a "treasure toolbox" for raising children yourself - not only more parenting skills, but also parenting methods.

Specifically, to raise a good child, we need to understand the knowledge of what is (WHAT), and why (WHY), how to do (HoW).

In my opinion, parents should be their children's "learning agents", who should be able to guide their children's learning and help them develop good habits.

Isn't guiding a child something a teacher does? You're really wrong to think that! If your child is between the ages of 3 and 12, your child's first teacher must be the parent.

You can say that our parents didn't guide us before, and we still became talented! This is the survivor bias, so the probability of becoming a talent is very low.

Now every family is mainly a child, who wants to put the child on the shelf, so that the child is most likely not excellent.

Moreover, the class teaching system of the school must be accompanied by family education, which is based on family education.

Why?

First, in schools, teachers have to face a class of 40-50 people a day, and some schools will have more people.

Teachers mainly talk about knowledge in the classroom, but things outside of knowledge— interests, habits, methods, and other abilities— need to be guided by parents.

For example, it is difficult for children to develop reading habits in the classroom or at school.

As a parent, you need to choose the right book for your child, let the child concentrate on reading it, and also interact with the child to deepen understanding.

Second, school education is standardized and step-by-step, it is difficult to personalize your child, and you do not expect the teachers of training institutions to help you.

For example, school teachers assign homework according to regulations, which every child must complete. But you need to understand your child, optimize your coping strategies, and make better arrangements.

I will guide my own little sage, and when I go home in the evening, I will use the best hour of energy to do the most important subject homework, and sometimes learn to steal a little laziness? Choose 2 mathematical expansion thinking problems every day to form a habit...

Another example is the pain points of writing essays, which you need to cultivate from an early age.

In the lower grades, let the child learn to look at the picture and speak; in the middle and upper grades, teach him the square writing method, the 5W3H method to write a diary, the mind map writing method and so on.

These methods are not available in books and classrooms, and teachers rarely teach them; but as parents, you must first learn them yourself and then teach them to your children.

Third, the vision of parents determines the growth of children. You also need to understand what to offer your child at an important stage.

For example, Xiao Xian enters the first year of junior high school and is about to reach puberty. At this stage, the child grows more rapidly, and the physical and psychological changes are greater.

So I prepared for him - the boys' version of "One Hour to Understand Adolescence", which has a lot of inconvenient knowledge points that children can read by themselves.

After the child finishes reading, you communicate with him again. In this way, every key point of children's growth has your "escort" and guidance.

Therefore, to make children more excellent, first be a growth parent, continue to learn, so that parenting is no longer anxious.