My mom graduated from Tsinghua University, and I only went to Wuhan University. I didn't go to cram school and came in the penultimate exams, but my mom never cared about my studies. My mother often said: Although you are not studying well, you are in good health.
I remember once I finished second in the class and scored 40 in math, and my mother went to a parent-teacher conference and still sat there with her face open and was approved by the teacher.
When I came back, I told me that your mother had not been criticized by the teacher when she was in school, but it didn't matter, my mother believed that you had your own choices, when to study, when not to study, which is your own business.
My classmate's mother prepared a school district room for her children to go to school, and my mother moved out of the school district room, but in the end I was admitted to a 985.
I asked my mom why she didn't let me go to a good school and why she never let me get to the 1st place?
Mom said: I have already gone to Tsinghua University, and with your qualifications, I can't surpass me. Since I can't be the best, I will accept your mediocrity. It's also good to be safe, healthy and healthy.
In this way, I have always followed my own path and lived the life I want to live.
I am also the parent of my child now, but I do not have the calm and calm of my mother, why do you say this is?
Why are some parents always belittling and hitting their children? But they obviously say that they have worked so hard for the good of their children, but they scold them for degrading their children's ability and hitting their self-confidence, and they say that they are educating children. For example, if the child scored 99 points on the test, but the child next door scored 100 points, they said, "Why are you so stupid!" The kid next door can rely on 100 points, and you only get 99. ”
The child is already very good, but after they say so, the child's score plummeted, the next time even 60 points can not be tested, they read the child's test paper is even more angry, continue to scold their children are not as good as other children!
In fact, such parents use belittling and blowing to "educate" their children is very slippery, and once they use a quasi, they completely degrade their children into what they "want" to see, and the children end up as they despise: never as good as other children!
But in fact, the depreciation will only make the child less and less confident, and even produce an inferiority complex, "Am I really not able to do anything?" "Did I really disappoint my parents?" "Am I really inferior to someone else's child?" Such one self-doubt after another makes the child lose hope in life.
In fact, no child is born a prodigy, no child is born not excellent, and good children are praised. As a parent, the greatest responsibility is to follow the good example, not to fight with the child. The child's mind is very simple, and he cannot understand the "routine" of his parents. They will only make self-evaluation and affirmation intuitively through the attitude and language of their parents.
A good way of education is positive and healthy, which can make children feel that they are excellent, and this kind of self-affirmation is an important foundation for the healthy growth of children, and it is also an important prerequisite for self-reliance and self-improvement. Children are the crystallization of emotions, the continuation of their own lives, not their own enemies, don't always speak ill of each other, many times, "I am for your own good" is really hurtful.
Every child is unique, and finding the shining points in their children is also a kind of growth for parents.