Sometimes it's not your fault that the crash is, or maybe it's how simple it is for you to psychologically destroy a person by being mentally abused? I know that the last girl named Tian Coke gave this answer: deny him. That's it

Sometimes it's not your fault that the breakdown is not your fault, or it could be that you are being mentally abused

How easy is it to psychologically destroy a person?

I know that the last girl named Tian Cola gave this answer:

Deny him.

This is called emotional abuse (cold violence): psychological trauma is inflicted on a particular object day after day by belittling, humiliating, mocking, ostracizing, or non-verbal cues at a particular object.

You will be miserable, you will be depressed, but you will not know exactly what you have experienced. When it comes to emotional abuse, even if you think that you are thinking too much, even if you complain about your own experience, you will not be understood, because all this is not clear, and you will think that you will be misunderstood by others.

When you are covered in bruises, you leave scars on your body, and mental abuse is more subtle, but really violent.

This happens to everyone, sometimes even to others, but what is really devastating is prolonged and repeated emotional abuse.

01

What kind of person is an abused person?

Masochists, not masochists, and no melancholy, are never resigned, but the abuser can manipulate their underlying melancholy or abusive tendencies. Abusers are sometimes abused simply because they have been chosen by the abuser to be an outlet for the stress of their lives.

On the contrary, the masochistic person is often optimistic and full of vitality, and those who like tension, the pain and obstacle of life, the complaint and pessimism, and the joy of life are difficult to enjoy, which is often characteristic of the abuser.

Have a conscience and easily blame your own people.

Describe it as a "melancholy character." "

They like their work and relationships to be orderly and dedicated, but they are unwilling to accept the favors of others, they are useful (they can be used by others), and they take pleasure in bringing happiness to others (easy to be controlled by others).

They can't stand misunderstandings and embarrassment and always want to clarify.

When faced with difficulties, the abused person often redoubles their efforts, and they are even more exhausted. Because they are susceptible to judgment and criticism by others, they cannot know whether they are right or wrong.

The masochistic person lacks narcissistic tendencies.

So when they feel dissatisfied, their anger is suppressed so that they can't fight back.

The reason why the abused person can do great harm is because through the abuser, they have to face their own shortcomings and forgotten childhood trauma, and those negative experiences that precipitate in their hearts become the seeds of self-destruction that stir up their own destruction.

A common trait of people who are abused, they can hardly tell what happened to them, even if they know that they are in pain, they really can't imagine what abuse they have experienced.

Sometimes they also wonder: "Is it like others say, I think too much myself?" ”

Sometimes they turn to blaming themselves: "It's all that I'm not doing well enough, it's me who's not right." ”

This makes it difficult for others to understand their suffering, it is difficult to really help them, and eventually they will fall into isolation.

02

What happens to victims after emotional abuse?

Withdrawal: The abused person continues to yield, making him more and more depressed and his personality is destroyed.

Chaos: The abused person falls into chaos after being completely controlled, does not know how to complain, and becomes numb to inner vitality and spontaneity.

Doubt: Feeling guilty about whether it was a problem that caused everything to happen.

Stress: Because of the repression of their own dissatisfaction and the fatigue of coping with the abuser's demands, if the abused person is under long-term stress, it will manifest as widespread anxiety, fear or uncontrollable panic, as well as a state of constant tension and high alertness.

Fear: The masochist can anticipate his or her insecure situation and develop fear.

Isolation: Verbally indescribable covert harm makes the abused person even more lonely.

Prolonged psychological abuse can lead to compensatory diseases, including the worsening or failure of regulatory mechanisms such as psychological defense. Patients with degenerative disorders typical of compensatory mechanisms experience general anxiety, depression, or mental insomnia, as well as violence against more impulsive victims.

Worse still, if an abuser commits suicide or attempts suicide, they are labeled weak, confused, or crazy. For the abuser, it all becomes an excuse to get away with it.

03

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Start by looking out for signs of emotional abuse and admitting that you have suffered it. It's a difficult and lengthy process, because emotional abuse is a normal phenomenon that can be seen everywhere in life, from not being respected to being deceived and manipulated, and we only feel that his hurt will feel unbearable.

When we perceive being mentally abused, we question whether we are thinking too much. Traditional education has always taught us to tolerate tolerance, which makes the situation of the abused people more difficult, they can not gain understanding of the environment, can only endure everything in silence.

Stop defending yourself in communication with the abuser. Justification can be a weapon for the abuser's next attack, so silence, distancing, or communicating with the abuser through a third party can help the abused person withdraw from the game.

Act resolutely and defy conflict. When you show your predicament to everyone, you give yourself a chance to breathe. The abused person needs to have the courage to ask for help, not to seek perfection. Showdown with the abuser.

Be prepared for psychological confrontation. To avoid being isolated by the abuser, the abused person needs to seek real support, and such support is not evaluated. Perhaps it is warm companionship that can help the abused person through the loneliest period. Then give yourself a vacation and fix your mental state.

04

Rebuild self-esteem

Start by finding your own shining point and re-examine yourself without overly influencing yourself because of other people's negative evaluations. Know your tolerance limits, build a sense of boundaries in your heart, and sometimes learn to jump out of the walls to give yourself affirmation.

Emotional abuse is pervasive in our lives, and in addition to preventing being abused, we must also be wary of whether we have played the role of abuser. Respect the value of others and know that our words and actions may also cause pain to others.