1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you

1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you get mine. I sneered and ignored it. The class leader came over and said, "Old classmate, last time you borrowed me 3 million, can you pay it back next month?" "I said yes. When the first love saw this, she couldn't help but move closer to me and whispered, "You can still chase me now!" I moved to the side, "I won't let you get mine." After the first love left, the class leader came over and shook my hand and said, "Old classmate, I'm interesting enough.... Give you a long face. "I quickly pulled my hand away, this dead fat man has a crush on me for ten years, and his heart will not change.

2. Xiao Wang introduced me to Microsoft as an accountant, and I can get a salary of 8,000 yuan per month. I also have a beautiful female colleague in my company who does after-sales, and I like her very much, but she has never taken care of me. Today, a beautiful colleague actually sent me a box of chocolates she made herself. I thought to myself that she must have liked me before, but she was always embarrassed to open her mouth to talk to me. Just listen to the beautiful colleague said: You have a good relationship with Xiao Wang, can you help me give him this box of chocolates?

3. I still remember when my brother went to the buffet once in college, and he always felt that he could not eat back the money he paid. As a result, a housemate said: If you want to really eat back to the original, you must eat seafood at the buffet. So I went to the buffet with the mentality of eating back, and then went there to eat more than 3 pounds of kelp. I don't know if I've returned this time.

4. Xiye, a pro player in the game, asks the abbot, "Big!! Master, why did JackeyLove play in the LPL for a year to win the world championship, while I have been playing in the LPL since 2014 and have not yet won a world championship? Abbot: "Don't compare yourself with others, some people come early with luck, some people come late, but sooner or later they will come." Xiye: "Then how long will I have?" The abbot did not speak, and his index finger pointed to the next point: "You mean it is coming soon?" Can I win the S10? The abbot shook his head, "No, I mean the next life." ”

5. Miss Wang and a gentleman went on a blind date at KTV, and I didn't expect that Mr. Wang was not only handsome but also a rich man who drove a Maton. Mr. Wang said to Miss Wang: "Beautiful women do not need makeup..." Miss Wang said shyly: "Thank you..." Unexpectedly, the genius gentleman said: "I think you still have some makeup!" "Miss Wang: ...?

6, the handsome guy next door is a rich second generation, a while ago overheard that he was going out to go on a blind date. The future husband who had drunk three rounds at the dinner table suddenly put away his smiling face. Then he said very seriously: Son-in-law, my daughter-in-law is sure to marry you, I am not at ease! Fu Er Dai said very firmly: You put a hundred hearts, I will be good to her. The old man said to fu erdai in a serious voice: My daughter-in-law has beaten invincible hands all over the village since she was a child, and I am not at ease with you!

7. Secretly bought a Chanel shawl with her husband's flowers. My husband was very angry when he found out, and after counting me down, I cried and packed up my things and prepared to go back to my mother's house. While taking the elevator, I saw a grandfather wearing sunglasses. Seeing that he didn't press the elevator floor, he pressed it himself, and he asked me: How many floors are you going to? I was surprised: can you see me? Uncle was very frightened and took a few steps back, and I was messy. Co-authoring is that I blinded him! Son, he doesn't treat me like a human being! "

8, there is a bear child at home, I remember that it was a winter, I want to go out to work. Before leaving the house, my son brought a glass of water, which was very hot, and said to me, "Daddy, drink it, drink it and you won't be afraid of the cold." I took the glass, took a few sips, smelled of a second pot, and asked my son, "Did you put wine in the water?" The son smiled: "No, I put antifreeze, drink it and I am not afraid of freezing." I exclaimed: "Car antifreeze? Oops I'm going, dial 120, quick, toxic..."

9, the cat walked downstairs and met the same dog that came out for a walk, and the two animals were complaining bitterly. Cat: Yesterday I sang to my owner and he punished me for not being able to eat for two days. Dog: What song do you sing? Cat: "When I grow up, I'll be you." Dog: That's nothing, the last time I sang to my owner, he kicked me out of the door! Cat: What do you sing? Dog: "You're my lover"?

10. A modern woman inadvertently traveled to ancient times, wandering the streets and being seen by the emperor who was out of the parade, the emperor fell in love with her at first sight, so he took her back to the palace, sealed the concubine and rewarded her with a lot of gold and silver jewelry. The woman was very happy, so she did not intend to return to the modern era, and was willing to follow the emperor to enjoy the glory and wealth. That night, the emperor took her to soak in the golden pool bath, eat the taste of mountains and treasures, and personally changed her clothes and was served by her. As a result, because the woman was too skilled and did not see the red, she was killed by the cane the next day at the age of 20.

11. After the media company left work, I was hungry and hungry, so I ordered a chicken pot in the restaurant downstairs from the company. The boss's daughter was very cute, and I was there to play with her heartless and lungless madness. The boss looked at it for a moment and kept shaking his head. After eating, my wife called to hurry home. I just walked out of the door, the boss chased out with a knife, I: I'm sorry, didn't pay for it, 8 yuan is not going to carry a knife, right? Boss: Money can not be, put my daughter down!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #