1, there is a young woman living upstairs, and she and I have a good feeling for each other, but we have not broken the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly got a text message, it was Lou

1, there is a young woman living upstairs, and she and I have a good feeling for each other, but we have not broken the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly received a text message from the young woman upstairs, only two words, save me! I was shocked and didn't know what had happened to her. I dialed her cell phone, only to find that it was turned off, so I ran straight upstairs and knocked desperately on her door, but no one responded for half a day. I thought to myself that she didn't know if she was at home or not, didn't know what was going on? I thought about it for a while and decided to pry the lock and go inside to see what was going on, but I wouldn't pry the lock either, so I pulled out my phone and made a phone call to find my ex-wife, because she had the contact information of the person who pried the lock! The phone rang and my ex-wife coldly asked me what was going on? I asked her if she could send me the contact details of the person who had picked the lock, and she sneered and said, Why should I give it to you? I have nothing to do with you, you go find someone else! I was in a hurry, saying that I was saving people, let her stop making trouble, and quickly give me the contact information!

2, apply for an interview, the boss let me casually introduce what characteristics I have. I said, "I don't know how to write the word 'failure.'" He tapped me on the shoulder: "The boy is very good!" I like it! This seat is yours! "It's a surprise that when they hear I'm illiterate, they'll tell me to get out."

3. Not long ago, the newly widowed female president was particularly hard to bring two children alone, and I often went to her house to help repair the water pipe and change the light bulb. My wife was very angry about this and had a big fight with me, and I couldn't help but scold her twice, and she ignored me angrily. In the afternoon she went to pick up her son from school, and I called her: I got out of the house and didn't come back! Don't come to me, live well with your children! After saying that, I hung up the phone and started playing the game. After a while, the son came back: Dad, why are you still here, mom said that you are out of the house, very happy, said to go grocery shopping, ready to celebrate in the evening! I......

4. Learned the method of wrapping rice dumplings on the mobile phone and personally tested it. I wrapped two kinds of rice dumplings, one with braised pork savoury and one with sweet! After eating at noon, I left two for my husband, and my husband threw one to Erha after work. Erha ate two bites, and then stared intently at the rice dumplings in her husband's hand. This thing eats in the bowl and still looks at the basin? Suddenly, Erha leaned over, licked at my husband's rice dumplings, and then looked at him with special "pride". The husband was angry at that time, this goods is too cunning! Never get used to his stink. When my husband finished eating the rice dumplings, Erha's eyes dimmed, and he directly turned his head and walked away.

5. I looked at the beautiful woman wearing Lolita on the other side and asked curiously: Your skirt has so many layers, isn't it hot? The beauty looked at me whitely and said mockingly: Don't talk if you don't understand, I'm not hot! The beauty seemed to feel offended, and the words rushed into this way. I quickly apologized and said: I'm sorry, I just wanted to find a topic to chat about while we were in the sauna together.

6, and buddy relationship has always been good, there are good things are shared together. This day was sleeping, buddy called, I heard confusedly: hurry up, I brought three girls, fierce, let me hurry up, or I don't have to choose. As soon as I heard it, I woke up and thought that maybe tonight would be the day I took off my order, so I quickly got dressed and went straight to the agreed place. When I got there, I was stunned, the buddy brought three duck heads, I dare not say how beautiful, I think it is spicy enough!

7. In the middle of the night, the company worked overtime in the toilet to find the secret of the president and the female assistant, and afterwards the president gave me 5 million as a sealing fee. I quit my job as soon as I had the money, and then ate and drank at home. I gained 50 pounds in half a year, and in order to lose weight, I didn't eat dinner and almost got anorexia. The old mother said in pain: Girl, there is no need to lose weight so desperately, fat girl Wangfu! Now, every time I eat, my mother yells in my ear: Can you give me some moderation! Although I told you at that time that I was fat, can you find my husband and eat it again?

8. When I was a child, my mother gave me a good job every time I came to the guest, my mother was responsible for boiling water, and I was responsible for pouring water. When I finished pouring the cup and sending it to the guest's hand, I accidentally spilled water on the guest's pants, and I rushed to apologize. Mom saw that there was half a cup left in the cup and said: Too little, pour some more! I stood there stunned for half a day, and my mother said: What's the fuss! It's going to fall. thereupon...... So the remaining half cup is gone!

9, today Dad made a plate of fish is particularly delicious, the wind swept the clouds generally finished eating. The lady reminisced for a moment and asked: What kind of fish is this, and it is quite delicious! Dad said: There are yellow croakers sold in the market today, so I bought a few! My mother looked at me with a tangled look: yellow croakers are bought, why is no one in my family's yellow flower girls wanting it! I go, this can pull me, I drop a kiss...

10. Within a few days of college, I fell in love with a female teacher who was 30 years older than me. Unable to resist my stalking, the female teacher agreed to stay with me, and we rented a house and began to live together. Once I had just taken a shower and the milk smelled of that kind of shower gel. After I came out, the female teacher went to the bathroom and said: Wow, it's so fragrant. When she closed the door, I silently took a pair of chopsticks and a spoon from the kitchen and stuffed them under the door: as long as you are satisfied, I will arrange.

11. Last night, I only left work in the early hours of the morning, and when I walked home, I found a big uncle crouching there crying. I stepped forward and asked, "What's wrong with Uncle?" Uncle cried and said: I smoked two cigarettes, and he actually didn't let me eat! As soon as I heard the fire come up: What? Are there such children? At this time, a 90-year-old uncle shouted: You little bunny cub, let me in, don't squat there!?

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