Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
"Sister-brother love" marriages are increasing, and in just 10 years, it has transformed from a surprising to a common phenomenon.
According to the data of the Civil Affairs Bureau, 43% of the current marriages in the mainland are male and female (the age difference is not more than 4 years old), 17% belong to the same age marriage, 39% are "sister-brother love" (female adults and men are 1 to 4 years old), and the remaining 1% are couples with a relatively large age difference.
It can be seen from the data that the number of brother-sister love and sister-brother love is almost the same, and perhaps in the future time, the number of sister-brother love will continue to rise.
For the marriage model, whether it is a man or a woman or a woman, it is based on a certain social background.
The origin of the marriage of a man and a woman
In ancient times, brother-sister love was a very normal thing, and even everyone felt that the combination of men and women should be male and female.
So the question is, how did this idea and this traditional model of marriage come about? This has to start with feudal society.
In a feudal society where men were inferior to women, women were not independent individuals, but appendages of men.
As an appendage, it is necessary to live on men, and such a woman has not only no social status, but also no family status.
It is human nature to like young and good-looking opposite sexes, and the feudal society in which men are the masters of the house naturally cannot be chosen by women, so the marriage model of men and women has become a norm.
Gradually, everyone feels that the marriage model should be like this, if there is a female big male small model, many people are even quite surprised, thinking that this is a thing that should not appear.
How did a "brother-sister love" marriage translate into a "brother-sister love" marriage?
1. Men's functional cliffs in marriage are reduced
The most fundamental reason why women are willing to find a man older than themselves is that this man must become the pillar of marriage and ensure that women have no worries about food and clothing in the second half of their lives.
On this basis, women can not mind the age of men.
However, with the development and progress of society, men's function in marriage is becoming weaker and weaker.
In contemporary society, women have to earn money with men to support their families, as well as to do housework, and the identity of men as pillars no longer exists, and their tall image will naturally change.
In such a situation, women are naturally reluctant to continue to choose men who are older than themselves.
When men play a smaller and smaller role in marriage, and women no longer need to be attached to men, women will use their nature to choose the other half.
As we have already said, it is human instinct to like young and good-looking members of the opposite sex, so women are naturally the same in this regard.
2, women are becoming more and more independent, and gradually grasp the initiative
Contemporary women are very different from women in feudal society, they are highly educated, have good jobs, have stable incomes, if they are only children, there are good material conditions, and they have a complete caravan.
Women's independence makes their social status higher, their own value increased, and they gradually grasped the initiative in marriage.
The era of being chosen by men has passed, and now women will take the initiative to choose the other half.
With each other independent, without the need to be attached to the other half, who wouldn't want to find a young man?
So the sister-brother love marriage becomes more and more frequent, because this is the result of the woman's active choice.
Women in the past tended to care about age when dealing with suitors, and they preferred men who were older than themselves, while women now are more likely to choose the younger side among suitors.
How should women treat "sister-brother love"?
With the increasing prevalence of "sister-brother love" marriages, women should pay special attention to this relationship, and the following 3 points are particularly important.
1. The age difference should not exceed 5 years old
Although sister-brother love marriage has become very common, it is best to control the age difference within 5 years old.
Within the age of 5 years, the age difference between each other is not far, there is no generation gap, and it is also conducive to white heads and old age.
But if you are over 5 years old, even if there is no problem at the moment, many years later the problem will appear.
Although women nowadays are good at maintenance, and the general external age looks younger than the real age, the age difference of more than 5 years old cannot withstand the impact of years.
Not to mention that the generation gap is a very terrible thing for everyone, and contradictions will breed over time, which is not conducive to marital happiness.
2, personality is the most important
When everyone is looking for the other half, we must understand a truth, character is the root of ensuring that a marriage can be happy and happy.
Don't be too good-looking, young and handsome is important, but character is more important.
To give a very simple example, you are facing two suitors, they are about the same age, but one of them is taller and more handsome, at this time you must face them with a rational attitude.
Examine their character and personality more, see which one is most worthy of your life, in the face of this matter, you must not be sloppy, otherwise one day in the future will be hurt.
Handsome appearance, tall figure and strong material conditions are not the most reliable, and only a woman who marries a character can achieve ultimate happiness.
Marriage is a lifelong thing, and everyone must pay special attention to it.
3, always maintain their own value
Women must understand that your own worth will determine your future happiness.
Society is realistic, people are also realistic, in the face of some things, everyone can even feel cruel, such as many housewives of the efforts can not be recognized.
When you abandon your job, lose your source of livelihood, and become completely attached to a man, everything you give will be taken for granted, and he may dislike you for a long time.
This situation is quite common in real life, and we must not follow in the footsteps of others.
In terms of probability, women with stable incomes and independent self-worth are more attractive in the opposite sex and more likely to get the love of their husbands.
Marriage is a science, and if a woman wants to be happy, she cannot be completely attached to marriage, but must turn herself into an independent individual.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.